Marriage crumbling before my eyes

I have a wife and 2 young sons both with health problems. 1 with autism and the other with severe eczema which causes him to bleed and scream a lot.
My wife (not Christian) and my relationship has always had troubles ever since I first found out she was messaging ex-boyfriends and hiding it years ago. Being the man I am and wanting the best for my kids though, I have held on and tried my best.
Recently I haven't been a great husband though and made some poor choices (no not cheating or anything like that but poor choices relationship wise) and have always shut my mouth etc to avoid confrontation.
This year has also been particularly hard because I joined the military to give my family a stable and secure future and the training has required a lot of me.
Just an hour ago my wife told me that she thinks I don't love her and she wants to see other people.
I just feel dead inside because I have bled myself dry for my family and continued as best I could to love her (through action because she killed the feeling long ago).
We are having hard times now because of our children and my training but I was holding on for the future for things to get better.
I'm sorry. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm not even sure what to pray for...

Psalm 18:28

My heart goes out to you..
I pray Gods beauty for your ashes..

When we don't know how to pray or for what it's best to give it over to the HS and allow Him to pray tru us on our behalf..
I'll do what I can, do be strong..

Father God please protect this family and bless. Yes Lord bless calmside, in Jesus name, Amen!

calmside....Life can be very complicated at times, with trials & storms that come our way. I can point you in the right direction, for hope, healing, stability, strength, peace and joy. The Lord see's the difficulties surrounding your marriage & all the family needs for your sons. Please allow yourself to put this all in the Lords hands, and Trust in Him with your life & future. Take things one day at a time with the Lord, and He will be faithful to walk you through this storm, equipping you to be stronger within your heart & spirit. Lord Jesus, I lift up this family to you in prayer, that your healing presence would begin now in the heart of calmside & within his family. I pray Lord that your peace which surpasses all understanding will guide these hearts. May the Lords Joy & Peace find its way within Calmsides heart as He begins to fully trust in You Lord with the future of his family. In Jesus name...

You know what, sometimes you can only do so much and no more, with some people...including our spouses. We do all the good and sometimes we are repaid with evil - that does not mean we should stop doing what's right, it may only mean that we need to (sometimes) step back and adjust how we do things. Wisdom should always lead out, hard as it may be...don't allow the situation to change who you are inside...it's unfortunate (and quite frankly, the other person's loss, when they don't see how much we do for them)...God sits high but he looks low and I believe that so long as your motives remain pure, he will work things out for your good, EVEN when you have justifiable reason to repay evil with evil.

Be the father you want your children to have and speak your mind (what you don't like) to your partner then let it be...if she can't she your efforts, there is nothing you can do to open her eyes....obviously her mind is elsewhere.

I hope for a change though, for your situation. Keep doing good!

Thank-you to the people who have prayed for my situation.

Please understand that I am not innocent in this situation either. My work often meant I was working 70 and 80 hour work weeks which didn't allow me to go to Church on Sunday's. I engaged in more and more sin to cope with the stress of work and home life. About a month back I had some Summative exams to do with my course at work which really stressed me out and I realised I had isolated myself from God. I repented but damage had been done in my relationship with my wife from both of us. After I made this turn around is when my wife turned on me.

Last night our youngest son screamed all night. I was able to get a couple of hours sleep before I went to work because as always I slept in the other room but I don't think my wife got any.

I have often felt unable to cope with especially after an intense day at work then coming home to one son who is making crazy sounds and breaking things in the house, another son bleeding and screaming, and a wife nagging me and telling me I'm not doing enough.
Sometimes I have to just go into another room for half an hour or so, put on a set of headphones and block it all out. The only thing is that makes things worse because my wife hates it when I do that and says I don't listen to her and I don't love her. Then her really hateful remarks start.

I'm quite sure she has no love left for me and if I'm honest it's hard for me to remember feelings for her. I have held on because we are waiting for government support to help with our sons and we may even get some respite care which would mean we could have some time to sleep or talk to each other. I also have almost 4 weeks of holiday time coming up at the end of the year.

The problem is she doesn't want to hold on, she wants to move on and sees me as the problem.

Anyway, my lunch break is nearly over.

Thanks again.

Lord you see this man in his desperate hour. We are all too weak to bear our burdens without you. I cannot imagine the burden he has tried to shoulder by himself. You know all too well of sacrifice, and this man has sacrificed much. Let him know your love is real. Eternity is real and heaven stands rooted in eternity, your Holy Church, not as we go to church on Sunday's, but Your Bride. Eternal and ever radiant stands beyond this life , a terror for all demons and evil to gaze upon your triumph. Touch this mans present moment now with your eternity. For here is a man fighting for his household. Your promise in acts 16:31 is that if a man shall believe, he shall be saved he AND his household. I know you have not promised all of us prosperity or natural comfort. But you have promised us a peace that surpasses understanding. A joy that cannot be stolen.

I feel as if I am a baby, not a man who has shouldered responsibility. But this joy in my heart, this unencumbered love, I wish to share this with my brother here. That in this moment you would remove the yoke of despair from his shoulders, and give him your peace. You certainly work all things for the good of those who love you. And since you have loved this man, he too loves you by the power of your love.

Give him the strength to fight through this day. To speak words from your counsel , Holy Spirit, spirt of God who's language is love. Be his mouthpiece today as he approaches his wife in gentleness and let him have the same love you have for him in His heart. Loosen the bonds of life and routine, allow his heart to beat to the tune of your majestic love.

give this man the courage to say the right words of comfort, reconciliation and hope into his marriage. I pray these words are enough, but I know your strength is enough, Lord.

give him peace in his heart, to move forward in the steps you have prepared for him. Carry him if he needs your strength Lord. Surely you are faithful. Just as I have found great joy in deep sorrow, so too let this man know the hope of eternity is real and absolute. Now we thank you for our daily bread and strength and portion. Give us the strength to carry through this day.

in Christ I pray .

Hey, man. I've gone through and am going through a lot of the same stuff as you. I have a daughter that has issues sleeping. I work all the time and my wife doesnt appreciate it. Our relationship changed in a bad way after the baby. Then i started getting panic attacks and my wife hasnt been there for me. Plua 2 miscarriages and surgeries but we are still hanging in there. You both have to want it though. I dont want to be negative but your wife saying she think that you dont love her anymore so she wants to see other people is classic misdirection. Shes putting the blame on you so that she can be absolved of any guilt or wrong doing.

this may sound very obvious but y'all need yo be 100 percwnt honest with eachother. At the very least get your wife to be honest because it seems like you know what you want or that youre willing to fight for it.

i want to add. I think you should talk to a professional therapist or counselor or doctor. Trust me, our stories are so similar and it sounds like the beginning of depression. Men also get post partun depression from the drastic life style changes after becoming a father. Australia is actually on the forefront with mens post partum depression treatment.

Hi again and thank-you.

Heydrewbert, thanks. My boss recommended the same thing as he knew a little of what is going on and I took his advice and have seen a psych a couple of times. I think I really need God's intervention though.

After I got home today, my wife and I were able to talk to each other normally for a bit which was really good. Neither of us talked about what was said last night and I left it like that. I know it's probably not good to just ignore it but she can be volatile and sometimes it's best to wait a while even though it scares me that I don't know what she's thinking.

I just hope we can get past this very rough patch and she can see by my actions that I do love her and have all along. I know I need strength to keep going and to be a good husband and Dad.
She finds it very easy to focus on all the things I can't/don't do but I hope that she can see my love through me doing my best.