Crying all day </3

Today, I finally came to my place after a weekend of festivities with my friends and went to bed to cry.


Today, my heart is breaking.


After much discussion and after lots of prayer and seeking God and getting counsel from mentors and close friends, I am breaking ties with my parents.


To those who don’t know (actually, I think only two of you know because I do not discuss this with anyone)….I went through severe physical abuse done by my father for 11 years. To this day, the abuse is no longer physical but it is under control and making me feel guilty. There have been a few instances where my Dad has tried fighting me again the past few years, and I would tell him that I’m no longer going to let him lay his hands on me without me calling the police.


With that said, I am close to my brothers. So. Close. But, everyone has been blinded by the abuse. My mother and my brothers both have seen this abuse and even though God has restored things with my brothers, my Mom let things happen and blamed me every time my Dad would either punch me in the face…among other things.


There was a retirement dinner for my Mom today. A surprise one. I came home from my camping trip with friends, showered, put on makeup, and got a dress on. I went, socialized, was there for about an hour and a half and then started noticing the same old feelings of sadness wash over me.


I don’t usually feel sad, nor rejected, or like a black sheep. But going to a place where I am ignored, I’m just done. I decided to leave.


My mom tried talking to me about it, but I just politely refused and said, “I just need to go. So excited for your retirement and happy retirement! We’re all so happy for you.” I turned to my brother and tried waving and saying goodbye, and he shifted his eyes away from me and didn’t say anything to me.


My heart is breaking. I’m so scared of losing my relationship with my brothers. Not all of you might agree, but you don’t know all the details or the things that happened and continue to happen. I’ve never took care of myself.


I’m breaking ties for me to heal and for me to take care of myself. But, I’m scared of losing my relationship with Derek (my older brother) and youngest brother (Devon).


I’m crying in my bed, about to get ready to go out because I just can’t be by myself.


My heart is breaking.


My heart is sad.

I am praying for you, sister.

Your post is so sad. I don't blame you for breaking off with your parents. Your dad verbally and physically abused you while your mom looked the other way. Yes, stay close to your brothers. I have said a prayer for the healing process to begin. It's going to be a long road but perhaps it doesn't have to be lonely too. God Bless You.

I pray that the lord comforts you & sorry to hear about your family problems. Always keep in mind our heavenly father loves you more than anyone ever could. At the end of the day he is the only one we will ever need. The Lord is with you so you are never alone

Luke 1:37...

But, what if me pulling away from my parents are going to destroy the relationship I have with my brothers? THey are so close to my parents.....

It is a possibility.

I would still give it a try and see how it goes. Your dad is toxic and your mom is probably afraid of him too and that's why she looked the other way when your dad was beating you and verbally abusing you. I would not however try to turn your brothers against your parents.

May God be with you whatever you decide, provide comfort and healing, and try to make some sense out of the tragic circumstances in your life. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger and I believe that your strong and determined enough to overcome the sadness that has been your life.

Peace be with you my dear sister in JESUS' NAME.
Sorry for what has happened to you. You are courageous lady. Just the fact that you didn't report the physical abused to the police, clearly shows how you really love your Dad and Mom and the entire family. I salute you with a HOLY Greetings. Please keep that Love shining.

I love your profile Name (Shineyourlight). You are the light of the world. Continue to Shine that Light which is in you.
Stop crying my dear friend and shine the light in you.
Just continue loving your brothers and your family with the Love of GOD and you will never lose your relationship with your brother or whosoever. No evil can overcome Love.
Remember, you are not alone. JESUS lives in you and HE is with you. So who can be against you? No One.

Hi my lovely...Have you thought it is God who is calling you to break these ties, is He calling you to rest and heal in Him,...Be still and know I am God, that`s what He says...Go rest in Him, give Him your broken heart, spend time under His loving wing, He will heal all your shattered peaces and bring you out of this mess into the BEA~UTI~FUL women He has created you to be...You will be courageous and strong in our Almighty God, brand new and this my sweet sister will be a great testimony that you will be able to rejoice from the roof tops...God said Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand...Take comfort in the Lord, He will restore you...xox...

Break it off. I read a sign on the wall once " Time heals all wounds." Or " Time wounds all heels." I can't remember which. Either way, get away from that nonsense. Go shine your light.

Father God please work in this situation and bless Shineyourlight and family. Lord you know everything in detail, please heal the wounds in their hearts and bless them. Let no plan od devil be success but have your mercy and bless them all for your glory. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, girl. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know how painful it must be for you to go through this. Though I don’t have words to convey my care and concern, I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to draw you closer to himself and surround you with His comfort, strength, and peace. I know it’s not easy right now, but stay strong and take good care of yourself. May God be the strength of your heart and your refuge. Hugs!

Friend, first of all you have to understand that you are a virtuous woman and nothing our earthly fathers and mothers say can change that.

Ruth 3:11 "All the city of my people know that thou art a virtuous woman".

Proverbs 31:10 "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies."

God is clear in His word that the fathers should not provoke their children and when our fathers are not in line with God's word we may turn away and still love them and pray for them.

Colossian 3:21Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

I just want to let you know my heart is breaking for you and I pray that the love of God will be upon you in this difficult time.

My friend, from my experience I can tell you this, your brothers might be angry with you now because of the venom from your father but once they admit to themselves the truth they will need you to be strong and counsel them through their struggles.

My wife had no relationship with her mother. They could not be in the same room without her mother being abusive (verbally and physically). Today her brother will admit they were abused even if it was not him facing her situation daily. My wife was beaten threatened with a gun etc.

When her mother died her brother's wife was the venom in his ear and they tried to steal all of the money from her life insurance policies and everything else she had of value. My wife basically wrote off her family (brother and sister) until one day about 4 years ago her brother phoned and said: "I need you now" his wife was leaving him for their cousin and he was in the ashes of divorce.

Her sister's children was taken away from her because she was a drug addict and we had joint custody of the children for a while (looooooong story ).

Every time God opened a door for the restoration. It might take time and in this waiting period we feel hurt and alone.

God will make a way for your brothers to return to you, and while you might feel the hurt now, God will use you powerfully in their lives when the time comes. Be strong friend, I will pray for you and ask God to raise you up into the princess warrior he made you.

Derek, my older brother, responded to my text. I did reach out to him afterwards. I basically just said, "Thanks for all that you did to make today happen! Sorry, but I just can't stay! Love you. And I want to just say, I hope you are not mad. I tried saying bye to you but could tell you were a bit upset. I did not mean to make you upset. I needed to do this for myself and still wanted to make that appearance to show that excitement and respect. I do love you!"

He responded with, "Ok. I think we need to talk at some point."

I've been crying all day yesterday and I called my mentors. They became really close to me a year and a half ago and they aren't that much older than me but I see them as my spiritual parents and they have been nothing but supportive.

They suggested that I write out a letter to my parents and send it to them to let them know that I am in fact pulling away. And to Derek and Lauren (Lauren is Derek's wife), to write a letter but actually sit down with Derek and Lauren and read it to them.

I feel emotionally sick. I'm sad and heartbroken.

IN all honesty, I don't care if I hurt my dad. He is merely a man that has been placed in my life. But, my Mom, on the other hand....I'm crushed and hurt that I'm walking away from her. But, I need to. I need to in order to get better. She is the NICEST woman you'll ever meet. However, I have so much anger towards her for choosing my Dad over me. For looking at me being abused and turning her head. I can't have someone like that in my life. Yes, she may not have abused me but allowing the abuse to happen is abuse in itself.

My dear lovely sister, if you haven’t forgiven your Dad from your heart and your Mom for allowing the abused to take place; you are making a very big mistake. So many Christians have caged themselves because of unforgiveness and their lives are full of sadness, anger, stagnation and pain because of this.
I don’t want you my dear lovely sister to fall into this trap of the devil.

No matter how far you go away from your Dad or Mom, if you haven’t forgiven them from your heart my dear, you have not solved the problem at all.

Please! Please! Please! Make sure you forgive your Dad or Mom from your heart before you carry out any action of pulling away from them.


It posted a message here titled “ We Must Forgive.” Let me share it again with you my dear lovely sister.

Have you ever been wrongly accused, even deeply wounded by others? Like Job in the Bible, pray for those who have hurt you, and forgive them. When we forgive, we release the pain and offence that had the power to destroy us. Forgiveness not only cleanses us from toxic bitterness, it opens the door for God's Word and presence to bring healing and restoration. It also activates the blessing of God to flow and produce more life and peace and joy than we imagined possible! So choose to forgive and let that double portion blessing flow!

Try to get everyone together and tell them you're not going to put up with it anymore. Tell them you love them and want a healthy relationship, if your brothers care about you they won't dissown you.

You're not far away from having a break down if you let this continue. I pray that Christ gives you peace.