You just need to work on being more assertive, and also less stubborn. It is one thing being kind but taking crap from people who show unkindness. It is another thing responding by being unkind yourself. But with the power of God, you can be kind, you can be strong, you can rise above that which hurts you, and you can inspire that which hurts you to treat you differently.
You might say why stubborn? Well things like forgiveness should come so easily (and without condition), if you find true alignment to God. My guess is you have forgiven on the surface, over and over, but it is not the same as in the deepest part of you. And the deepest part of you is what matters, because that is what matters to God. Even if someone abuses us, it is only ever on the surface; it is only really us who abuse the deepest part of our self, which no-one can get to except our self. And once we invoke blame, as many do, we weaken ourselves to victimhood. One of those abuses on the deeper self is to become stubborn, which makes us feel somewhat protected, my thoughts, my body, my life, but also blocks us from the spirit.
Everything belongs to God, even the situation. Good can come from it, you just have to have the eyes to see it. Passive/aggressive behaviour will fight or flight/run away, neither really solving the inner burden. Assertion is knowing God has the ultimate power to change you, to change the situation, and to put things in the right place.
For example, a passive person might say to your father, I love you but enough is enough and I'm going to stay away. But underneath the passive nature of it, they are hoping for a reaction, some kind of change, because they judge their own self worth and don't see that they are part of the problem. An aggressive person might say, you are bad, you make poor decisions, you have a horrible attitude, and your heart is in the wrong place, and you are the problem. But underneath they are hoping for forgiveness because they are mirroring their own self-judgement. An assertive person, with a sense of clarity (in God), see's that it take two to tango, and that sometimes this can be destructive, and to them they need a break from each other. And they say that, they say it like it is, even if it means accepting that somewhere along the line there is some truth in what the other person says, because there usually is. They know it might be hard, but, it's the right thing to do, that is what matters. And they are not doing that hoping something will change, they are doing it to realign themselves. Simply no conditions. Kind of letting God resolves the spiritual problems, and all you have to do is have the faith.
An assertive person can make difficult choices and not worry that they made the wrong decision. I mean if you ask God what is the solution, do you listen to the answer, or does stubbornness push you another way? A passive person worries which is the right decision. An aggressive person makes decisions before thinking about the consequences. A passive aggressive person makes decisions and then is angry about them before thinking about the consequences of the anger.
Anyway I'm kind of rambling off at a tangent, hope it means something though! Peace
(((( xoxooxoxox Hows everything right now. If i had a home i would welcome you i would want someone to do that for me <333 Just keep praying. Forgive your parents i know it is hard remmber who are enemy is. I got hit by my grandpa i know how you feel. I am here for you if you want to talk.
