Prayers are very much needed!

Hello all. I hope you are having a good day. I haven't been having a good couple of weeks. Ever since i was a very small child (say 4, 5, or 6, basically capable of complex thoughts or at least the earliest i can remember) I have had panic attacks. I never really told my parents back then. however, when i do now, they don't seem to think it is very serious. Ever since i was little, the concept of eternity, life forever, was unfathomable. Yet so was the concept of death. And after I became a real Christian, those panic attacks largely stopped. However, recently, the unshakable uncertainties and fears have come back. I am really fearing the thought of death being all there is, and I go from intense despair to the point where i feel as if I am not alive (when i think I cease to exist after death) to intense joy (when i look about me and conclude there has to be more to life, there has to be a God and heaven and hell). But my doubts are growing and consuming. I can't focus on reading more than a few verses of the Bible,and when I am not busy and have time to think, the doubts buried all day resurface in my thoughts and I have a panic attack. I can't really live because i am paralyzed with the fear of death. Sometimes I feel like I will die into nothingness because i don't see an afterlife or a logical conclusion to it. However, i also feel like it is very illogical to say life, civilization, love, and creation are in vain. I cannot see myself ending, but i also cannot see myself living. Please don't criticize me for my doubt. I believe in God, but i am intensely struggling right now with the concept of death and the afterlife. All the prayers and support you can give will be GREATLY appreciated. Tomorrow, I might have to have a talk with my mom about all this.

Satan is the father of lies!! God loves you! I have been dealing with a lot of fear recently too. However I have been asking for prayer a lot and try to only watch christian tv and listen to christian music... try to separate yourself from anything of the world. Don't give the enemy a footstool. Avoid gossip murmurings anything the enemy can grab a hold of.... also whenever these thoughts come tell satan to get thee hence in the name of jesus christ. I bought a spiritual warfare book by kay arthur called "is it warfare help me to stand"....you have a sound mind and make prayers and supplicatins to God so you will have the peace

Clean and forgiven... Girl where do you get so much wisdom??? Seriously I have felt the same thing, and I could not articulate the correct words to use...

I take it you are very intellectual on the basis of logical thoughts and deep thinking around you... I think you need to really get alone with the good book for a while...

To be 100% honest, I struggled with the same thing you are going through, and at times I still struggle with it too. And during these periods of starvation (if you will) I did not want to fully commit to reading that book... See I knew it held every answer that I seeked but I had conditioned myself to 'human given logic and reason'. I had conditioned myself to listen to the people who made the most sense to the way I thought. I would listen to astronomers talk about our universe, physicists explain how it works, and biologists explain the wonders of the universe inside my body... And that made me feel intelligent and very secure in my own little world... Then after a while I came up with the idea that all of this put together seems to contradict each other... That life according to human knowledge does not add up... I started to use my own brain to further explore this idea and I ended up giving myself a scare... Actual anxiety attacks that could last hours... The reason for these attack was not the answer but the lack of an answer... Because deep down I knew I was no longer the biggest fish in the sea... I knew that we were basically the food for plankton in this sea... And that itself scared me to death...

The only thing wrong that I did was listen to other people and myself...
Would you take a calculus lesson from a first grader that can't even spell her own name? See we humans do that all the time, we want to be given the short and easy way, we know that the first grader will create some easy concept to understand and we can live with it until the new first grader says its another way...
But we have actually been given a text book on calculus, a sure fire way to understand how to learn it... The problem is, we are very immature and easily distracted children, and we would love nothing more than to take the easy way out and have that first grader teach us the lesson based off of their own knowledge...

So the author of the text book gave us a teacher, a man who understands the subject in more depth than anyone could ever even fathom...

I think you get what I am trying to get at so I will stop, because I know I personally start to daze off into a dream world whenever I read long things, so if you did no worries...

I will pray for you

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.


On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.


His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.


When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

You are very smart for your age. You sound smarter than many grown ups I know. Anxiety is very common in intelligent ppl because we have to know we are in control of everything. Hence why we put so much thought into things, even unnecessary issues we cant control.

The way I look at life, and death... bring on the world. If I die tomorrow so be it, the Lord will raise me up and I will be a better place. A place we are all meant to be. Dont worry about life, let the events unfold and be of the thought 'God is in control'. Because whatever happens it will be ok. Praying that the Lord transforms your thoughts from worry to ease.

The opposite of worry is faith. If we have complete faith that the Lord has control over all things than how can we worry? I will leave you with one of my favorite verses.

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint -Isaiah 40:31

I love what stacygo said. The evil thoughts and feelings come from an evil source, not from God. It makes it easier to sort through them when you realize that. God leads, reassures,enlightens,encourages, comforts, and calms you. Satan does the opposite! Get in the habit of reminding yourself to ignore what does not come from God.

I will pray that you might speak to your mom and that she will be a source of understanding and support.

Be well and God bless you. Gail

Prayed.

Glory be to God.

Revelation 1:18
1:18
I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.


Hebrew 12:2
2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.



1 Corinthians 15:55-57
55 O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?[a]”
56 For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. 57 But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.

praying for you

Hugs, setting you before God in Jesus's name for all you need.
Your mom will be your help and care, I know when my daughter came to me with simular, I wanted only peace and joy for her.

God bless
pickles

Thank you all so much for the replies and prayers! They helped me greatly. I didn't know what the replies would be, so I was honestly hesitant to come on here for a while. May I say, that was pretty much how I was thinking (and acting), T_Laurich and xAlphaOmega. CHRISTENE, the Revelations verse and 1 Corinthians helped immensely. All of your replies helped, and thanks so much. But the one I should thank is God. If He works all out for the good of those who love Him (and he does), then this was, most of all, HIS doing. By the way, I have Isaiah 40:31 painted on my wall (I put it there for times like these, and yet i still ignored it.) and my mother said she knows exactly how I feel. I'm a long way off from being wholly without doubt, but I can say I do believe in an afterlife, I do believe in God, I know and believe that Jesus has been through and overcame death, and I am going to let God have control of all of this. I do want to control everything, but i cannot. And God is perfectly capable of controlling everything at once and using the best ways possible, with the best outcomes. God is definitely shaping me. It is a tough process. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there is hope. God bless you all, and thanks for all the prayers and support! I hope it wouldn't be too much to ask you to continue to pray for me and others in my situation.

Satan will continue to pull the same trick over and over for your entire life, it's the same canvas with a different painting on it. What I mean is that you will always have the same basic intrusive idea - that the Gospel is a lie. It's his only somewhat effective trick; to lie about the truth. He has nothing else. Ignore it, pray about it and choose to believe the truth, that's all you can do. Praying for you.