Hey Kite, i just wanted to say, you are not alone in feeling that way. For the longest time, ive felt exactly like that. Whenever i feel that way, i listen to 'East to West' by Casting Crowns, to remind myself of why i am turning away from my sin, and that im not going back to my old ways ever again! Mainly the part, "I dont have to see the man(or woman) ive been, rising up in me again!". We all trip and stumble in our walk with God, but he's always right there to pick us up again. Be strong, ill pray for you.