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HI, I think you could well be searching for the right way for YOU to approach God. And it is perfectly okay that your husband likes being Pentacostal (if that is what he is). But just as you both don't wear identical clothes -- you aren't going to approach worship the same way either. Allow yourself to open up space to just 'be'. No pressure on anything other than starting in small ways. You might do something as simple as spend 20 minutes sitting outside in a pretty setting where you feel comfortable and reading only the Psalms part of the Bible. Just open your Bible up at the Psalms (I love Psalm 91...you
may want to use that as an opening to come to God. Psalm 91 KJV - He that dwelleth in the secret place of - Bible Gateway ) Remember that YOU are the one to FIND the way to approach GOD...your way. And sometimes depression is just
masked tiredness. 4 children is a lot of work. You are no doubt already feeling pressure to be a good Mom and then husband saying you ought to do things a certain way (it is probably because however he does things works for him...he is just trying to help you with what works for him)...all adds up to tiredness. BUT God made YOU uniquely YOU. He isn't going to talk to you the same as he does your husband. He'll (God) reach you through music that speaks to you. Exercise #2 in addition to sitting in a pretty spot and praying-reading the Psalms as an opening to God.....is: Go to YouTube and find a Christian song that
you just LOVE. And when you listen to this song FEEL God speaking to YOU through the words, or images of the song.
ALLOW God to reach you this way -- really easy and simple, nothing complicated. And Exercise 3: the next weeks as you continue to go to church, ASK God to lead you to the right place to worship OR open up for you at the church you are already at, HIS Spirit, HIS grace. (This doesn't mean God is going to talk to you in tongues...He may give you a hunch to teach some Sunday school....or help in some other way that He talks to You about doing.) If in about a month God does NOT clear open a space for you, that will be your answer that perhaps this church isn't 'the one'. All churches are different. The Holy Spirit is not equally present in all churches. In some it is stronger than others and one way of doing worship might totally please you, but not your neighbour. But just OPEN it up to get God-going in these various ways, wait, and see what happens. Then assess from there.
Dear God, I pray that your dear friend here who wishes to seek Your Face is led by You, in the right way at the
right time. And that You enfold her precious children and husband with your Grace and Mercy at this time.
In Jesus' name I pray. Amen +
may want to use that as an opening to come to God. Psalm 91 KJV - He that dwelleth in the secret place of - Bible Gateway ) Remember that YOU are the one to FIND the way to approach GOD...your way. And sometimes depression is just
masked tiredness. 4 children is a lot of work. You are no doubt already feeling pressure to be a good Mom and then husband saying you ought to do things a certain way (it is probably because however he does things works for him...he is just trying to help you with what works for him)...all adds up to tiredness. BUT God made YOU uniquely YOU. He isn't going to talk to you the same as he does your husband. He'll (God) reach you through music that speaks to you. Exercise #2 in addition to sitting in a pretty spot and praying-reading the Psalms as an opening to God.....is: Go to YouTube and find a Christian song that
you just LOVE. And when you listen to this song FEEL God speaking to YOU through the words, or images of the song.
ALLOW God to reach you this way -- really easy and simple, nothing complicated. And Exercise 3: the next weeks as you continue to go to church, ASK God to lead you to the right place to worship OR open up for you at the church you are already at, HIS Spirit, HIS grace. (This doesn't mean God is going to talk to you in tongues...He may give you a hunch to teach some Sunday school....or help in some other way that He talks to You about doing.) If in about a month God does NOT clear open a space for you, that will be your answer that perhaps this church isn't 'the one'. All churches are different. The Holy Spirit is not equally present in all churches. In some it is stronger than others and one way of doing worship might totally please you, but not your neighbour. But just OPEN it up to get God-going in these various ways, wait, and see what happens. Then assess from there.
Dear God, I pray that your dear friend here who wishes to seek Your Face is led by You, in the right way at the
right time. And that You enfold her precious children and husband with your Grace and Mercy at this time.
In Jesus' name I pray. Amen +