Heartbroken

lulu05 · Jan 2, 2015

Hi. I'm new here. I can't say I'm an avid churchgoer, although I do pray a lot, and want to start going to church again. Lately I've been praying even more. For myself, which makes me feel selfish, but I've just been so heartbroken. I was in a three year relationship with my boyfriend and living with him. I was so very much in love and still am, and I believe he really did love me. He has been through a lot of things in his life the main one being losing his brother to suicide. I always used that as his excuse for shutting out his feelings and sometimes being cold towards me and even angry towards me. Towards the end we did fight a lot because he liked to go out and drink, and barely made time for me. I think this made him feel bad about himself too because he seemed to want to make me happy. The whole time during the breakup, which was about 4 months ago, he told me he was working on himself, he didn't love himself, and couldn't even be in a relationship. He would tell me that he hoped it did work out one day, but he wanted me to move on and be happy. He then told me on christmas he had a new girlfriend. This broke my heart, especially on Christmas, but to be fair I was texting a lot looking for more answers because I felt lonely and confused since it was the holidays. He text me again last night saying he still wanted to be friends, he cared about me, but he didn't feel that it was fair to stay with me because I wanted marriage, and he was unhappy. I guess...I just feel sort of helpless about it all. I can't seem to move on. I cry every day. I have even talked to someone. I feel so bad because my family feels terrible about how depressed I am. I pray for them too so they don't have to feel down like I do. I also pray for him that he finds his way. I know this new girl, and she is known for walking all over guys, and even though he broke my heart, I don't want him to get hurt...but then I feel bad because at the same time I don't want it to work out. I just want to trust in God, and have patience, and believe in whatever my journey is supposed to be. I pray that my ex finds what he's looking for...and even though I guess I can't really ask for it to work out with him...that's what I want. I'm just so confused. Advice, prayers, anything would help. I don't want to waste any more of my life feeling so down, and if not for me I want my family to feel happy that I'm happy. I want him to stop feeling bad that he hurt me. I want to understand what I'm supposed to do.

Thank you for reading.

Jacob_Fitzgerald · Jan 2, 2015

May the Lord grant unto you peace, and may he fill all the empty voids within you

JustAnotherUser · Jan 2, 2015

Just to give in advance, try not having walls of text when sharing something on the forums. Many tend to not read them if they're not split into paragraphs. Did the same mistake when first joining, so I'm not saying this to be rude.

Second, I give my condolences to your ex-boyfriend because of his brother's suicide. I don't know what it's like to lose someone from such, but the subject itself hits close to home for me as well as many others here. It probably has affected your brother greatly, but that doesn't excuse some of his actions towards you.

There's some errors that have been made here that I'm sure some people will point out before or after I make this post - living together with someone and not being married is a sin. It leads to the subject of the things that differences married couples as well as unmarried couples, as I'm sure you know and won't need to get into. If your ex didn't want to handle the greater responsibilities that come with marriage even if it's getting it from city hall with a certificate, it's obvious as to where the relationship stood before God since you already went past the boundaries that's between unwed and wed couples. Same can be said on the different levels you two were in while together. As far as 'God destining me with this person' is concerned, I can't say on that and will say there's a difference between making something right and claiming what's meant to be or not.

As hurtful as it is, if he's found someone to be with already while saying that 'he don't deserve you', it should indicate that you two aren't on the same page even when it comes to your interests. It doesn't matter who he's with, he's the one who chose to make the steps that he took out of it and is using the crutches to excuse his behavior on them. It doesn't change even if you have feelings and connections towards him. And no doubt that he's hurting, but it's not something that dictates his present decision making, either. Grieve, but eventually you will have to move on. Might also want to learn to respect yourself a bit more so you won't have to tolerate further abuse.

RememberTheSabbathDay · Jan 2, 2015

lulu05 said:

Dear Lulu05,

Praise God that ur ex called it quits. If u think about it, God was working through him to save ur soul. God will go any distance to save us. God says, I chasten those whom I love. With His strips of truth we are healed. Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful but his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he mediate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf shall not wither and whatsoever he doth will prosper. But the ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Psalm 1:1-4 God says, there is a way that seemeth right to man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. In other words the wages of sin destroys u. Wait on God and seek Him first and He promised to give u the desires of ur heart because after putting on Christ, His desires for u will be ur desires. I know going through the pain does not seem like anything a loving Father in Heaven would allow u to go through, but remember, He loved u enough to die for u. A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels. Proverbs 1:5

bettypeace · Jan 3, 2015

Lulu05,

You are not selfish. You have been through a terrible hurt, and 3 years is a long time. Your boyfriend does not deserve you. He does not sound like a good or honest person. Please love yourself even more. Pray to be STRONG. He is not worthy of your love. You sound like a very sweet, loving person. Allow yourself to heal. Get your mind off boyfriends for now. You need to get strong and feel secure in yourself. You are feeling insecure without him. But the truth is you don't need him. You loved someone who was not so great and didn't appreciate the wonderful person you are. Find activities you are interested in, get interests. You deserve to be treated no less than great. Of course you are hurt, but you must learn to love yourself more to get over this. Be careful who you get involved with again. This was not a good man. I know you don't want to hear this now, but in time you will know that such a loving person as yourself, deserves a man that is going to treat you wonderful because that is what you are.

KBond · Jan 3, 2015

Lord, I pray for emotional healing for Lulu and the ability to move on and let go of the past. I pray she would embrace the bright future You have for her. In Christ's Name, Amen.

levi85 · Jan 3, 2015

Lord Jesus Bless lulu05, Amen

cmarieh · Jan 3, 2015

I am so sorry that you feel heartbroken. Think about this Christ is our cornerstone and our solid ground. He will never leave you nor forsake you. I, too have had a hard year last year, but remember that 2015 is a new year and a fresh start. I will be praying for you, that God will show you that he is always here for you and is waiting to be spoken to. I will also be praying that God will give you wisdom and a fresh start this new year. Every time I feel upset, hurt, or even disappointed, I look at children, the sky, God's creation and it always makes me remember that God is always near and will never leave me.

MadParrotWoman · Jan 3, 2015

lulu05 said:

Hi. I'm new here. I can't say I'm an avid churchgoer, although I do pray a lot, and want to start going to church again. Lately I've been praying even more. For myself, which makes me feel selfish, but I've just been so heartbroken. I was in a three year relationship with my boyfriend and living with him. I was so very much in love and still am, and I believe he really did love me. He has been through a lot of things in his life the main one being losing his brother to suicide. I always used that as his excuse for shutting out his feelings and sometimes being cold towards me and even angry towards me. Towards the end we did fight a lot because he liked to go out and drink, and barely made time for me. I think this made him feel bad about himself too because he seemed to want to make me happy. The whole time during the breakup, which was about 4 months ago, he told me he was working on himself, he didn't love himself, and couldn't even be in a relationship. He would tell me that he hoped it did work out one day, but he wanted me to move on and be happy. He then told me on christmas he had a new girlfriend. This broke my heart, especially on Christmas, but to be fair I was texting a lot looking for more answers because I felt lonely and confused since it was the holidays. He text me again last night saying he still wanted to be friends, he cared about me, but he didn't feel that it was fair to stay with me because I wanted marriage, and he was unhappy. I guess...I just feel sort of helpless about it all. I can't seem to move on. I cry every day. I have even talked to someone. I feel so bad because my family feels terrible about how depressed I am. I pray for them too so they don't have to feel down like I do. I also pray for him that he finds his way. I know this new girl, and she is known for walking all over guys, and even though he broke my heart, I don't want him to get hurt...but then I feel bad because at the same time I don't want it to work out. I just want to trust in God, and have patience, and believe in whatever my journey is supposed to be. I pray that my ex finds what he's looking for...and even though I guess I can't really ask for it to work out with him...that's what I want. I'm just so confused. Advice, prayers, anything would help. I don't want to waste any more of my life feeling so down, and if not for me I want my family to feel happy that I'm happy. I want him to stop feeling bad that he hurt me. I want to understand what I'm supposed to do.

Thank you for reading.

That is a very honest post lulu. I believe your boyfriend is still grieving over the loss of his brother - made worse because he took his own life but God is in control so keep praying - it isn't selfish to pray for yourself, especially when you are going through something like this and hurting, it will bring you closer to the Lord. My advice would be to stay out of the situation and try to move on - I know, easier said than done but I don't really feel there is anything else you can do but hand the situation over to God. If you are meant to be with your ex then it will happen without any intervention by you, if not then it's not God's will for you. Trust in the Lord, he will guide you.

lulu05 · Jan 3, 2015

Thank you all for the kind words.

BurdenBarer4U · Jan 13, 2015

Hi Broken hearted,
Your needed prayer, that you wrote out really touched my heart
and I am going to pray for you and believe with you for a
Mighty Miracle from the Lord! Please know that He Cares deeply
for all of your needs as so do we here! Satan does not like any
of Gods Children, and works extra hard on trying to bring them
down! And You are a Special and Treasured Daughter of the
Almighty God! And we with Gods Power, bring down those
evil spirits that are trying to steal your victory!

So please believe with me by Faith, that your Miracle and Victory
is on its way! I claim that promise with You in the name
of Jesus Christ! Amen.......Lord, just now, let your Love and Mighty
Blessings of Peace, Rest, Joy, and mercy and Grace rain down on
her being, and life and broken heart! May she feel your
Loving, and tender hands just holding her heart like this picture just now,

and may your healing Love, start her Miracle healing of her wounded heart!
Thank You Lord, in Jesus Christ name amen!!

I'm going to send You now a few songs that I feel will so encourage
your heart! Please, please take a moment watch and listen to them!!!

What Sin?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxzdtZi8Qn4&spfreload=10

He will carry you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCDezqCxMFc&spfreload=10

When God Ran!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JC_jHMbRlk&spfreload=10

I Know That I Can Make It!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTBw84Jv79I&spfreload=10

I pray that these songs so blessed and uplifted your heart!
Please remember that Holy Spirit anointed music and songs
drive away evil spirits! So please listen to them and other Holy Spirit
anointed music every day! They will drive those depression
devils all away!

Now I'd like to Bless You with some Beautiful Anointed Bible verse pictures!

I hope that these pictures blessed you! And yes I will be praying for you!
And remember that more Miracles and Blessings are on their way!
Lord Greatly Bless You, bro. Derek

BurdenBarer4U · Jan 13, 2015

Hi Lulu, its brother Derek again.
I found a few more pictures that I have made
that would no fit in my last post, so I thought
I would just send you some more in a new post!

God Bless You Lulu, I pray that the Lords Tender hands
are still holding your heart, and healing it with
his Love. I believe he is!!!!
Don't stop believing, more Miracles and Blessings are coming!