I am hopeless.Sin and Satan won.

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Angelo123

Guest
#41
I have to go to church now but I will be commenting further here a little later. There is something I would like to run-through with you regarding your understanding of God.

Don't give up. God bless you :)
See you later then.God Bless you too.
 
M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#42
Angelo,
Firstly I think you have a good solid belief in God - good grounding and your roots are with Him. I think you know that He is real and exists and is the only God. That is a good foundation because many folks do not "get" that. By flicking through your posts it seems to me the basis of your problem is God's character, you don't much like Him or what He is or what He stands for. Am I right? The problem here is that God is sovereign, He is The Father, He created everything including you yourself, so by bringing Him down to your (the creatED) standards, ethics, morals you do Him a disservice - He doesn't have to live by our rules, we must live by His. He IS the creator of standards and morals. He set them out with the 10 commandments in Exodus. Just like a father sometimes we disagree with Him, rebel against Him, even retaliate (as you have done with this KA "religion") against Him but like a father He is all forgiving and all loving too and welcomes you home (as with the prodigal son) with open arms and no questions asked.

The enemy has you focused only on the Holiness and Justness of God which as a 14yr old you will be inclined to rebel against. Satan has you as an easy target, a weak link. So as a tiger preys on the young, weak member of the herd and separates it from the strong, chases it until exhaustion and then goes in for the kill. If you can picture this you will know what Satan is doing to you. This is why I directed you toward a good Bible believing church where you can get support and prayer in numbers. You will be loved and helped home to where you belong - in Jesus' arms.

There are other members here who have admitted to having gone through similar situations to yourself. I'm sure that they would welcome private conversation with you and will help you talk through their own journey. You need support, you must recognise that you can't do this alone.
 
A

Angelo123

Guest
#43
Angelo,
Firstly I think you have a good solid belief in God - good grounding and your roots are with Him. I think you know that He is real and exists and is the only God. That is a good foundation because many do not "get" that. By flicking through your posts it seems to me the basis of your problem is God's character, you don't much like Him or what He is or what He stands for. Am I right? The problem here is that God is sovereign, He is The Father, He created everything including you yourself, so by bringing Him down to your (the creatED) standards, ethics, morals you do Him a disservice - He doesn't have to live by our rules, we must live by His. He IS the creator of standards and morals. He set them out with the 10 commandments in Exodus. Just like a father sometimes we disagree with Him, rebel against Him, even retaliate (as you have done with this KA "religion") against Him but like a father He is all forgiving and all loving too and welcomes you home (as with the prodigal son) with open arms and no questions asked.

The enemy has you focused only on the Holiness and Justness of God which as a 14yr old you will be inclined to rebel against. Satan has you as an easy target, a weak link. So as a tiger preys on the young, weak member of the herd and separates it from the strong, chases it until exhaustion and then goes in for the kill. If you can picture this you will know what Satan is doing to you. This is why I directed you toward a good Bible believing church where you can get support and prayer in numbers. You will be loved and helped home to where you belong - in Jesus' arms.

There are other members here who have admitted to having gone through similar situations to yourself. I'm sure that they would welcome private conversation with you and will help you talk through their own journey. You need support, you must recognise that you can't do this alone.
Please read it all.It is of utmost importance.No secrets or games.This is the complete truth.

Only if you knew how much I want to trully repent but:
1)I am ashamed.
I have done many atrocities in front of God(occult etc.) and I have blasphemed His Name many times.Also I have blasphemous thoughts(varying from cussing to sexual thoughts,even about God!It is disgusting!)
2)Living with God is hard.I mean,I am a rebellous teen,I do not even like my parents' pieces of advice how am I supposed to obey THE GOD?
3)Because of my involvement in the occult(chakras and such garbage)I tried to meditate on the heart chakra.Since then,I am super emotional(I am a guy),I get attached to girls and I got so emotional with God that I felt betrayed.I know It was my fault,but this Hate,Anger and Revenge is inhumane.I can manage them when comfronting humans but when I even think about God:Boom.Blasphemous thoughts,hate,anger and revenge are so God-centered.I cannot control it.It is like supernatural.
4)I cannot stop lying.I am addicted to lie just to make true stories funny and interesting.It feels like candy but It hurts like a chainsaw.
5)I also have a pornography addiction.This is my greatest enemy because,genitals give pleasures.This pleasure is interlinked to lust.I cannot defeat it.I am powerless.I try as much as I can and then my pain gets so big that I cannot cope with it.
6)Then,when I ask for forgiveness,I cannot believe I am forgiven.I always think that when I ask sorry,God does not like looking at me.That's why I do not want to repent.Because a professed Christian said that God does not like looking at such prodigal sons like me because I make Him miserable.So,he said,that God frowns at me,seeming like he stays far away and then he sympathizes.But,if I trully try to believe that I am forgiven,I get sad because I cannot.So when I get sad,I eat.So when I commit the sin of gluttony,It is the cherry on the cake.I fall into utter despair.
7)I cannot understand the concept of "glory".It is like God cares more about me glorifying Him than actually me!
8)My parents are religious hypocrites.My mother has visions from God and she believes in feng-sui and cosmic energy.(She had seen my face before I got born and saints that she does not know,advice her to go to the church and pray)and my step-father cusses Christ's name and all the saints.Also,I had a dream of becoming a priest or something like that.But if I tell my mom something like that she will make fun at me(Do not ask why,I know).I just wanted to literally work with and/or God.I still have a spark of hope but nobody encourages me.I do not even go to the church.One reason for that is that my mom is overprotective etc.
8)I cannot read the Bible alone.It is boring and It feels like studying history.I want company.
9)Also I cannot understand why God was so harsh on humans in the OT.
10)Finally,all my prayers go unanswered.Maybe because I get so excited that such a God listens to my demands that I have no patience.Did you see the magical word?"Demands".God is not obliged to answer but He said that If I ask I will receive so I do not understand.
And many more...
 
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M

MadParrotWoman

Guest
#44
Angelo, I'm sorry I have been signed out I had some stuff to do.

I'm really happy you have told me all this because it's important that I know what you are going through. First of all you are not hopeless - far from it. You are greatly loved by God. There is nothing I repeat NOTHING that can separate you from God once you have given your life to Him (I believe you have done this going back over your posts) nor is there any sin too great to be forgiven - no NONE. Let's go through them:

1. We are all ashamed of ourselves at some time or another, we all break God's commandments, we cannot keep them because our fallen nature makes this impossible. Our fallen selves came about because of the original sin in the garden of Eden (Genesis) that is why Jesus had to die for us - God made a way for us, God is good. Because Jesus died for us we are instantly forgiven but that doesn't mean we should ever stop trying to not sin. It is a goal we work toward all our lives.
You blasphemed His name? Welcome to the club - I had been doing it for 53yrs - yes I used Jesus' name as a swear word, a curse word and God's name too. I have been forgiven as have you. The occult you gave up - Satan is trying to lure you back to "alternative" and possibly dangerous (certainly dangerous if it takes you away from God) cults/religions. Cast out the enemy in Jesus' name and he will flee from you.
You are 14 and you probably have raging hormones, yes sex and sexual acts will be constantly on your mind - it's your age! The point is you recognise that thinking this way is not in harmony with God's economy but you are not alone in your thoughts, it is so common I would say it's normal.

2. You build a relationship with God, it is OK to rage at him, He gets it, He understands because He created you. It's hard for all of us to "be good" and we all fail, some more than others but all of us at times. The key is to take it before God, we must confess our sins, He knows anyway lol. When we confess He forgives - every time.

3. OK this one I don't think you can do alone, I think you need to be prayed over in a church because I think the enemy is attacking you causing this anger and hatred - this is not of God and the fact that you were into an occult seems to confirm this. don't be concerned though I know of someone who had this problem, took this action and was instantly "cured". You will come away feeling at peace and greatly loved. Our God is a God of peace and tranquility not hatred or anger. Having a relationship with God will help you to know Him, what is of Him and what is of the enemy when He/it speaks to you so it's important you get into a relationship with God. You say your thoughts are like "supernatural"? That is exactly what they are!

4. Lying is another sin you must learn to control, you must want to stop this which has become habit. When you are about to lie stop yourself. Ask God to help you with this, you can even ask Him (silently) as you are about to lie. Just say something like "please help me".

5. Ah pornography rears it's ugly head again, this seems to be the leading sin among young Christian men. This sin can be defeated but again you must want that to happen. You can tackle this as in answer "4". With prayer some men manage to cast this sin aside instantly, with others it's a longer process. Keep working at it and don't beat yourself up when you fail. Keep praying about it.

6. No need to despair, God forgives you, God loves you each and every time. It's simple.

7. We glorify God because of what He has done, He deserves nothing less, He is worthy. He also loves you and wants to be in a relationship with you. He wants you free from the grip of the enemy.

8. You cannot be worrying about your parents right now. They are not the issue - you are. You cannot help them whilst you yourself are helpless. They know what they have to do to become saved. One day you will be an example to them and perhaps even witness to them but right now you need to focus on yourself. You need to look for a good Bible-believing church, fellowship with other Christians will help you more than you can know. you need to be in the company of those who can help nurture you and pray for you. I totally get your comments on reading the Bible, I struggled too particularly with the Old Testament. Get yourself a "Bible In A Year" the "Every Day With Jesus" Bible in a year is a good one. There are also online studies you can do with a daily reading portion accompanied by a pastor's summary - it's like having a friend decipher it for you. The Old Testament is hard going but the New Testament and in particular the Gospels (I particularly like John's Gospel) is enough for you to get a good solid foundation. when you find your church you can attend a Bible study group and study with others, helping each other and asking/answering the questions of others.

9. God had to be "harsh" on certain folks in the OT because of what they were doing. God did not want our world to become the way it has. These people were sinning on a large scale - even killing their own children. It was necessary.

10. God has 3 answers to prayer: 1. Yes with immediate effect. 2. No because it isn't for your benefit. You may not see this until later, look back and realise the "no" was a wise decision and beneficial to you. 2. Not yet. God's timing is always perfect, just because your prayers aren't answered with immediate effect it doesn't mean they won't be at a later stage. God will not forget your request.

I hope this will help you in some way but you need to act on these things, most especially you need to find a good church ASAP, read a Bible - the New Testament will do for now and pray often. :)
 
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Angelo123

Guest
#45
God's timing is not only perfect,It is above perfect!I was just thinking about this thread so I checked my mail and boom!I am literally like that :-0
Anyway thank you for caring and I only told you those things because I trust you and a few people that are not of this world-
Christians

Thanks for helping me!
 
R

Rudimental

Guest
#46
God's timing is not only perfect,It is above perfect!I was just thinking about this thread so I checked my mail and boom!I am literally like that :-0
Anyway thank you for caring and I only told you those things because I trust you and a few people that are not of this world-
Christians
Thanks for helping me!
Good on you. God is always on time.

Give thanks to God for all things for He is the great and holy I AM.

Peace to your soul and the love of of Christ that surpasses all understanding.
 
P

popeye

Guest
#47
If you think you are a ville man and jesus can not forgive you, then you are deceived.

When you get ready to come home,jesus wont pull out some "meter" to see how dirty you are,or check the books to see how nasty you were to him. If that were true millions would have just missed salvation due to their "dirtyness"

So,all that list you have may impress certain circles,but it's like a car wash rejecting a customer because bird poop was on the window....(never will and never has happened)
Trust me,that "degree of vile" is YOUR EXCUSE,not Jesus' ruler.
 
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Angelo123

Guest
#48
If you think you are a ville man and jesus can not forgive you, then you are deceived.

When you get ready to come home,jesus wont pull out some "meter" to see how dirty you are,or check the books to see how nasty you were to him. If that were true millions would have just missed salvation due to their "dirtyness"

So,all that list you have may impress certain circles,but it's like a car wash rejecting a customer because bird poop was on the window....(never will and never has happened)
Trust me,that "degree of vile" is YOUR EXCUSE,not Jesus' ruler.
This almost brings tears to my eyes.I was just thinking about this degree of vile and your words are truly Holy Spirit-inspired.Thank you for giving me some joy in my despair.
 
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MadParrotWoman

Guest
#49
If you think you are a ville man and jesus can not forgive you, then you are deceived.

When you get ready to come home,jesus wont pull out some "meter" to see how dirty you are,or check the books to see how nasty you were to him. If that were true millions would have just missed salvation due to their "dirtyness"

So,all that list you have may impress certain circles,but it's like a car wash rejecting a customer because bird poop was on the window....(never will and never has happened)
Trust me,that "degree of vile" is YOUR EXCUSE,not Jesus' ruler.
Spot on man!
 
R

Rudimental

Guest
#50
Yeah thats true old hairy legs love to use your own doubts against you, he's quite clever like that, the most cunning of all beasts. Preying on your own emotions in the most subtle of ways. But he's a liar and the father of. In fact his greatest trick is to convince the world that he doesn't exist. All he does is to blind mankind and man to the simple truth that Christ is all powerful and has already defeated him! He doesn't want people to know Christ has already defeated sin and death. Christ is risen! That's why we should always rejoice, give thanks, praise and worship and pray.

It gives us hope that no matter how crazy things get or how low we get, we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.

Revelation 21:4-7 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true." Then He said to me, "And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
 
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MadParrotWoman

Guest
#51
Yeah thats true old hairy legs love to use your own doubts against you, he's quite clever like that, the most cunning of all beasts. Preying on your own emotions in the most subtle of ways. But he's a liar and the father of. In fact his greatest trick is to convince the world that he doesn't exist. All he does is to blind mankind and man to the simple truth that Christ is all powerful and has already defeated him! He doesn't want people to know Christ has already defeated sin and death. Christ is risen! That's why we should always rejoice, give thanks, praise and worship and pray.

It gives us hope that no matter how crazy things get or how low we get, we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.

Revelation 21:4-7 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true." Then He said to me, "And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
Rev 21:4 is my favourite verse. What a promise is that?
 
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popeye

Guest
#52
This almost brings tears to my eyes.I was just thinking about this degree of vile and your words are truly Holy Spirit-inspired.Thank you for giving me some joy in my despair.
My oldest daughter ran away from home back around 1999. I found out she ended up with some satanists. I was totally destroyed. Things were desperate. I was mad at God. I looked to heaven in anger and screamed at God "you can't help me just a little bit?" "Why did you allow this to happen?"......heaven was silent. I went to my place of prayer,(some woods behind my house) and cried "Jesus please help me,please Jesus help me,help me,help me"..........heaven was ssilent.
This went on for 3 days. Get this.......3 days. On the 3rd day as I was crying to God begging him to do something,encourage me ,....ANYTHING,I came out of the woods(no alagory intended) and I remember being in my shop still praying my wimpy "help me" mess, and just getting ready to hit the light switch,when heaven spoke "Stop it!! stop it!!! stop praying that !!!
NOW CALL OUT MY NAME IN FAITH!!!

So I did. I put my fist to by breast and called it out JESUS!!! JESUS!!! JESUS!!!JESUS!!! JESUS!!! JESUS!!!JESUS!!! JESUS!!! JESUS!!!JESUS!!! JESUS!!! JESUS!!!. Standing now like a man with authority,my gaze fixed on the king.
Guess what? all heaven came down for me. IT WAS AMAZING!!! Man,the power in that name!!! WOW!
I went from destroyed wimp to a tower of heavens fresh annointing from the throne. I will never forget it. It was that day that God came ,personally tutored me in the secret of faith.So costly,but priceless in return.

I was a circumstantial believer. If things were good i could prance around with my christianity.But let something go wrong and my day was ruined.

No more for me. I sat up to that table for many years,and satan knew I was an easy,easy target.

Now the tide has turned. YOU SEE,IT IS YOUR OPPOSITION THA ACTUALLY PROVIDES YOU A SPRING BOARD FOR NEW FAITH.

IT DON'T MATTER WHAT COMES YOUR WAY.I DON'T CARE HOW BAD,OR HOW BIG THE DEVILS ARE,THEY/IT IS NO MATCH FOR JESUS. HE IS UP TO ANY TASK. but winmps get nothing,all they are good for is to hide and watch.

Notice little David,when he offered to decapatate the devil for big bad saul.He already had that devil destroyed in his little mind.
He punched his memory "I killed the lion and the bear"
He punched the prophetic and told that 9 ft devil "I see your head comming off"
He punched his imagination "what would you,o king ,give to the man that takes the devil down?"

He knew it.He knew the devil would loose.Not some of the time.EVERY SINGLE TIME.
It is said "God will pass over a hundred believers to get to the man of faith.

NEVER WE TRUE-ER WORDS SPOKEN

OH,and my daufghter was delivered from those freaks.
See now why we got to get right and have some mustard in or walk? It ain't for us.It is for humanity
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#53
So I sense a little bi-polar in you... you don't do things half-way, in either direction you swing you swing full tilt. Keep this in mind as you turn to and fro. The truth usually lies in the middle. Altho in God's case that ain't necessarily so :) And remember the perseverance thing. Even if you deny God, that doesn't mean He's not real.
 
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Angelo123

Guest
#54
So I sense a little bi-polar in you... you don't do things half-way, in either direction you swing you swing full tilt. Keep this in mind as you turn to and fro. The truth usually lies in the middle. Altho in God's case that ain't necessarily so :) And remember the perseverance thing. Even if you deny God, that doesn't mean He's not real.
Well,I am going to take this piece of advice because I consider it to be true.Thanks for helping!
God Bless you.
 
Dec 1, 2014
1,430
27
0
#55
YOU sound like what LEGION would have professed! I would encourage you to start seeking a happy/clappy full of the Holy SPIRIT congregation that can surround you with real worship. I see nor hear WORSHIP in your comments. I see no surrender of your own will. I see no praise. You have dug a hole so deep that you have dig UP to strike bottom. JESUS came to give YOU life and more abundantly. A poster child for CHRIST you are NOT! There is nothing here that would offer HOPE to anyone truely seeking JESUS. Now that I've expressed that, a good old fashioned Holy Spirit Deliverance is exactly in order for you. YOur past baggage is still there, your self condenscention remains, your struggles seem to never be fully settled..and the list goes on. THOSE demons within are still trying to party in your house, while you wrestle and curse GOD......If you and I were standing face to face right now, I would have to build up all the faith I can muster, lay hands on you, surround you with other awesome CHRISTIAN brothers and sisters I have, and send those demons fleeing back to where they came from. THen, when your body has stopped shaking and crying and rebuking itself, the Love of JESUS would flow, we would help stand you up (For surely with all the weight you've placed upon yourself, you would be laying on the ground), and we would start praising GOD for your Deliverance. You and I would be dancing right now, laughing and in complete spiritual freedom.
 
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Angelo123

Guest
#56
Now that I've expressed that, a good old fashioned Holy Spirit Deliverance is exactly in order for you.
Well,where can I do such a session?