J
I continue to feel bad.I continue to feel the zoned out weird feeling I talked about in my older post.I feel like it gets worse everyday.I don't know what to do or who to run to.Life has been so hard for me lately.I pray and I pray but still no results.I feel like a disconnection from everything.So If I don't feel connected to life or people then how will I feel connected to god ?? Sometimes I wonder If there are other people in the world going threw what I'm going threw ?? I tend to feel alone.I wonder if God understands me or understands what I go threw because If he does then he would know how horrible this is ? And if he knows how horrible it is then why doesn't he help me out of it ?? It has been five years.I feel like it has been a really long time and still no help.
(This Was My Older Post)>>>>>>>>So I am going to summarize what the last five years of my life have been like.Now I don't know what triggered the way I feel now.The summer of 2008 it was really hot out one day and I was pretty thirst so I went inside my uncles house and I looked in his fridge and grabbed a bud light beer. I was only 14 years old when I did this but before all of this I tried weed a couple of times.So back to me grabbing the beer.I drank the beer and fell asleep. About three hours later I woke up and started feeling strange. I thought it was the beer but I knew there was no way it was. I felt like I was floating and everything around felt like it was moving slowly.My hearing was also muffled. I felt like an out of body kind of feeling like I wasn't myself.So that same day I went to the mall with my family and I still felt weird. I thought it would go away the same day but it didn't. The next morning I woke up and I still felt the same.If there was a way I could describe it I would have to say it's like those movie scenes where the main character is on a pain killer and everything feels off and the whole screen goes blurry.Well anyways I have been feeling this way for 5 years now. I feel like this out of body weird feeling 24/7.I also have trouble focusing and I feel spaced out.The worst thing is I don't know what triggered it. I have seen several doctors and specialist but still no results of what it could be. I have also had an MRI,CT scan, and a bunch of blood work. The worst thing is is that starting to affect me mentally. I don't feel the same. Life just doesn't feel the same.I wish I could describe better but it's so hard. The best way to describe it is I feel like I'm not living in the moment and nothing really makes me happy. I also have a lot panic and anxiety attacks. In addition to all of this I have been having identity issues. It's almost like I don't know who I am or what I'm doing on this earth.It's really scary and I need help with it. I made an appointment to see a psychologist but I won't be able to get seen until later next month. I could really use prayer lots and lots of prayer
(This Was My Older Post)>>>>>>>>So I am going to summarize what the last five years of my life have been like.Now I don't know what triggered the way I feel now.The summer of 2008 it was really hot out one day and I was pretty thirst so I went inside my uncles house and I looked in his fridge and grabbed a bud light beer. I was only 14 years old when I did this but before all of this I tried weed a couple of times.So back to me grabbing the beer.I drank the beer and fell asleep. About three hours later I woke up and started feeling strange. I thought it was the beer but I knew there was no way it was. I felt like I was floating and everything around felt like it was moving slowly.My hearing was also muffled. I felt like an out of body kind of feeling like I wasn't myself.So that same day I went to the mall with my family and I still felt weird. I thought it would go away the same day but it didn't. The next morning I woke up and I still felt the same.If there was a way I could describe it I would have to say it's like those movie scenes where the main character is on a pain killer and everything feels off and the whole screen goes blurry.Well anyways I have been feeling this way for 5 years now. I feel like this out of body weird feeling 24/7.I also have trouble focusing and I feel spaced out.The worst thing is I don't know what triggered it. I have seen several doctors and specialist but still no results of what it could be. I have also had an MRI,CT scan, and a bunch of blood work. The worst thing is is that starting to affect me mentally. I don't feel the same. Life just doesn't feel the same.I wish I could describe better but it's so hard. The best way to describe it is I feel like I'm not living in the moment and nothing really makes me happy. I also have a lot panic and anxiety attacks. In addition to all of this I have been having identity issues. It's almost like I don't know who I am or what I'm doing on this earth.It's really scary and I need help with it. I made an appointment to see a psychologist but I won't be able to get seen until later next month. I could really use prayer lots and lots of prayer
God Bless You Much !!