Keeping my head above water...

There is a lot of spiritual warfare going on in my life right now, and I believe this is a season where the enemy is really on the prowl in my life and in the lives of my family. In addition to the emotional turmoil that I've been experiencing in coming to terms with my abusive and neglectful parents, several members of my family have been facing attack. I can't really say whether they are saved or not, but I can tell you that none (except for my mom) are pursuing a relationship with God.
1) My step-grandfather is very old and very sick--cancer (He is mormon.)
2) My brother (32) is in a lot of pain. The doctors havebeen unable to diagnose it thus far, but he is unable to work or drive.
3) My mom was just in the hospital with diverticulitis. That is improving, but she is also, diabetic, depressed, anxious, and has severe asthma. And those are just the physical problems.
4) My dad had a liver transplant about 2 years ago. He's been having fainting spells since and they cannot diagnose the problem. He recently got some tests back and his cancer markers are up. (He is mormon.)
5) My mom's cousin was recently murdered. The best guess is that a lot of small town gossip led to some accusations and that's why he was killed.
6) My cousin (28) and aunt (42) are applying for disability for emotional issues and there is a lot of judgement in my family towards them. One was involuntarily 5150'd and another just had a bad panic attack.
7) One aunt tried to kill herself recently.
8) Another aunt has a partially collapsed lung and is getting geared up to have her gall bladder removed.
9) As I've been in counseling, I've come to suspect that most of the members of my family suffer from PTSD due to childhood incest and other sexual abuse.
10) I am currently dealing with my own childhood incest, sexual abuse, and rape issues. I'm trying to come to terms with my parents actually being bad parents since most of my life I've dimished it.

Dear Jordache:

You very definitely are dealing with a lot. of the many reasons I believe in God, knowing that there are certain types of pain and hurt that ONLY He can heal, is one of them.We were never created to suffer things like sexual abuse, etc and traumas like that leave holes in our spirits at times. And yes, such abuse issues tend to be "generational" (as in my own family) so it is no surprise that many of your extended family members have suffered so greatly. As for you, I pray God heal you in the way only the Great Physician can. God is the God of infinite chances; he makes a way where there is no way. You are his precious child and he grieves what has happened to you and it was NOT His perfect will. You did nothing to cause it nor did you deserve it. I think it says a tremendous amount about your sweet spirit that you chose to list OTHERS and your concerns for them before you talked about your own issues. God bless you Jordache, I discern a great and loving spirit within you and you WILL prevail.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

You and your family are in my daily prayers in jesus Christ is Lord as long as you need.

Hugs and God bless.
pickles

Sorry to read about the issues affecting you and your family. I will be praying for you and just wanted to say that you will be living proof to your family that life does go on, it does get better and this is only possible by believing and trusting our Lord Jesus. God Bless You.

someone gave me a flier with Healing verses from the Bible on them. perhaps reading them will help you? I will keep you and your family in my prayers

Isaiah 58:8
Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.

Jeremiah 33:6
Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.

Malachi 4:2
But to you who fear My name The Sun of Righteousness shall arise With healing in His wings; And you shall go out And grow fat like stall-fed calves.

Revelation 22:2
In the middle of its street, and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve fruits, each tree yielding its fruit every month. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations

there are many more, Psalm 103 is a good one to read. and Psalm 91 for God's promised protection

kenneth2816 put it beautifully. May you feel the Holy Spirit's presence all around you at this time, Jordache

Bad? From what I understood about your father, he was horrible, a monster. However, you are not your parents. You are a different person. You have different morals and a different life.

Wow! This is old and here's the update.
1). My step-grandfather died July 7, 2012.
2). My brother who is almost 34 was diagnose last winter with Rheumatoid Arthritis.
3). My mom is now permanently disabled. She went in for a minor shoulder surgery and they will now replace the whole thing. She has one knee done, and is waiting to have the next done. She was diagnosed Bipolar with NPD in July of this year.
4). My dad died on June 10, 2012 after I was able to tell him I forgave him, pray for him, and sing worship over him. We had not seem each other for 6 months because he had disowned me after I confronted him.
5). They closed the case with no answer. They found no evidence pointing to a killer.
6). My aunt moved back to Missouri with her husband whom she'd left. She seems to be doing well. My cousin had her healthy baby girl, Claire, and seems to
be doing well. She's been clean since right before Claire was born.
7) That's the aunt in #6.
8). She is 100% better since her gall bladder was removed.
9). I have given them and their healing to The Lord.
10) I am slowly but surely seeing the light if day after his very long dark night.