Leaving my abusive husband... Finally.

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Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#21
Jan 24, 2011
11,781
2,947
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#21
I would advise you to go for marriage counselor with a SECULAR counselor for a long time before you even consider getting back together with him.

I say secular, because most Christian counselors put marriage above the safety of the woman. I know that is my story, but I have also read that this is the norm. I separated from my husband because of physical and sexual abuse, and after 8 months he wanted to get back together. The counselor told him he needed to see a psychiatrist because of his depression, (a lot of this anger can come out of deep depression!) He got on meds and we reunited. I know the symptoms of depression, and I intervene with his doctor if necessary. He treats me with love and respect. It is like we have a different marriage. He also knew it was his last chance to make our marriage work and he did change a lot.

I will pray that you get the help you both need. I know it is possible to reunite and forgive, but ONLY if the man is repentant and truly changed. And that may require a lot of counseling and psychiatric help!
 
S

simplyme_bekah

Guest
#22
#22
I pray that the Lord is the light for every step that you are suppose to take. I pray that you feel His arms around you at this time along with His peace and His comfort and that He heals your broken heart and your broken life. He is your hope sweetie. cling to His hand and He will guide your every step. Trust Him our Lord Jesus because you can you know. He has got you safely in His arms. Believe. 62636_529408987097774_100378190_n (1).jpg
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#23
Oct 24, 2012
15,026
106
63
#23
Immawildthing said:
Some of you already may know this. But I got married 5 months ago, to a man who raped me, and made me feel like it was my fault. For 5 (almost 6) months, he'd been using me to gratify his own desires. And trying to be a good wife, I willingly gave my body to him. Through his constant abuse, I became pregnant a month after we got married.
I finally had enough of it, near the end of March, and finally called my mom and cried to her for hours. She then called my dad, and my husbands brother, and they came to talk to him.
He told me he was sorry, and that he was going to change for me, and our unborn child. He prayed with me, he read the Bible with me. But only for a couple days. I put my trust and love and respect back into our relationship, hoping it really would get better.
But he didn't change... He raped me again this morning, while I was asleep, and I woke up after he'd already done the deed. He told me he was sorry again. But I can't let myself get hurt again, just because his "I'm sorry", doesn't mean I'm sorry.
I called my dad, my mom, his brother, my pastor, my best friends, and they all told me its time to let go.
Now that I'm finally doing it though, I have no where to go, no way around being a single mom, and I'm leaving a man I truely loved once. My heart is breaking, and my life is falling apart. I'm in desperate need of prayers. If you could please help me.
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I am asking God to get you to view life from a reality standpoint not an emotional one. Sister you will make it through, just please look at reality forsake the emotions that brings stealing, killing, and destroying. And befree of the abuse you are in for your childs sake
Emotions are stealing, killing and destroying you as you make sound descisions tossing you like a wave of the sea. Stand firm Sister in what you know is right God has called you to peace not the calamity you are in
Love and knowing God will deliver you from the abuse, just stand firm and be not entagled again under a yoke of bondage as you have been
 
Immawildthing

Immawildthing

Senior Member
#24
Jan 20, 2013
1,371
14
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#24
Mature enough to handle this, is knowing that God won't give you a trial you can't handle, and that he only wants you to be happy. And trusting that God knows what he's doing, because he's the only one who can see how it will all turn out. Mature enough for this situation, is knowing that God loves and cares for us enough to give us these things to streangthen us. Mature enough for this situation is knowing that as long as you stay faithful, it will all be worth it in the end.
 
S

SeatBelt

Guest
#25
#25
Still Praying for you, Sister.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#26
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#26
I am praying for you.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#27
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
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#27
Imma--I am so, so sorry to read about what's happening to you. God most certainly does not want you in a situation where someone is abusing you and endangering the life of your baby, even if he is the father and man who married you.

I am so sorry but I didn't even know you were going through this--two very kind, compassionate, and Godly men (TinTin and SeatBelt) brought it to our attention in another thread that you needed our prayers.

I will most certainly be thinking of you and praying that God will comfort, guide, and rescue you from a predicament you neither asked for nor, in many cases, seemed to have had no choice in (it seems to me that the marriage as well was more by force and coercion... I am so very sorry.)

Love and prayers,
Kim
 
D

danschance

Guest
#28
#28
I am real sorry and I wish things would of turned out better. :( :::
 
Immawildthing

Immawildthing

Senior Member
#29
Jan 20, 2013
1,371
14
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#29
They look like they might turn out alright... Still praying myself. Right now, I have plenty to be grateful for, and I should focus more on that. I have a beautiful miracle gowing inside of me, and he shows me he loves me with every kick. As far as we know, he's healthy, because he's taking so much of his mommy's energy and makes me hungry all the time... He really is a blessing to me, and I'm really hoping the stress isn't getting to him. I just hope he knows I love him dearly.
 
J

JJAC

Guest
#30
#30
hang in there blue
you know we are here for ya
and still prayin
 
J

JJAC

Guest
#32
#32
of course that''ll never change no matter what username you got
I mean it'd be weird to call you Imma
don't ya think :p
 
J

JJAC

Guest
#34
#34
ok blue wild thang
it is then :p
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#35
Oct 24, 2012
15,026
106
63
#35
Immawildthing said:
They look like they might turn out alright... Still praying myself. Right now, I have plenty to be grateful for, and I should focus more on that. I have a beautiful miracle gowing inside of me, and he shows me he loves me with every kick. As far as we know, he's healthy, because he's taking so much of his mommy's energy and makes me hungry all the time... He really is a blessing to me, and I'm really hoping the stress isn't getting to him. I just hope he knows I love him dearly.
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Just keep sayin it for what you have said is truth, you two are connected and this baby cannot eat without you, cannot speak without you, cannot feel without you
Just think if you could talk to this baby while in your womb surrounded by the water. Your baby would say that I am criucifoed never the less I live because Mom lives for me, Mom breathes for me, Mom eats for me, Mom speaks for me.
And today all grown up are we to see this way as the baby sees 100% dependant on Christ for everything, so we go and do rersponsibly dependant on Christ, as we work, as we we speak, as we eat, yes this taking on his yoke it is easy and his burden it is light for he is raised from the dead as we are also through Faith that trusts God to take care of us as a baby does in the womb
Congradulations Sister
 
R

rabbit_love2

Guest
#36
#36
Don’t ever be ashamed at feeling weak. Remember what the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 12:10:
“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
O Lord, we call upon You in our time of sorrow,
That You give us the strength and will to bear our heavy
burdens, until we can again feel the warmth and love of
Your divine compassion. Be mindful of us and have mercy
on us while we struggle to comprehend life's hardships.

Keep us ever in Your watch, til we can walk again with
light hearts and renewed spirits.​
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Lord, I come before you today knowing that all power is in Your hand. I know that you are the Lord and that you care for your people. Right now, my friend is struggling with a difficult trial. I can see her strength is faltering, Lord, and know that you have all of the strength that she needs.
I pray that you will reach down and touch her right now wherever she is at this moment. Let your presence fill the room where she is and let her feel an extra portion of your strength that can help her to get through this day.
She needs you now, Lord, and I thank you in advance for meeting her where she is and shoring up her strength during this difficult time.
In Jesus name. Amen.
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Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
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Often times, life can overwhelm us. We feel desperate and distant from god. It is during these times that we need hope most of all.

Please don't go back,I watch on HLN Nancy Grace victims going back and the outcome is not good,example Travis Alexander& Jodi Arias the way she sliced his throat ear to ear and shot him cause he was leaving her alone,i beg you stay away and know that God will make away.When you are in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, it can sometimes seem as though the only option you have is to stay with the abuser. If you do not find a way to permanently break the cycle, you will perpetuate the pattern of abuse. You have the power to break the cycle and put an end to the abuse for good











 
Immawildthing

Immawildthing

Senior Member
#37
Jan 20, 2013
1,371
14
38
#37
For a second it starts looking better, then it gets worse, and then it starts looking better and gets worse. It looks like we're getting closer and closer every time, to a divorce.
I'm having a really hard time with him not taking his crap into his own hands... (sorry if that word offends you).
He just blamed me, my mom, and my dad for me leaving him. he accused me of being the irresponsible one, and he's trying to take my reliable transportation, which I NEED for going to prenatals. And when I told him I couldn't take his car because it's not reliable and I can't drive a stick shift, he accused me of being ungrateful and never being satisfied with what I have. I am satisfied with what I have, I'm trying to keep what I have!
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#38
#38
That's disgusting behaviour! The man raped you! He has nothing to stand on. I'm so sorry. I'll continue to pray for you and your bubby.
 
L

lockedrob

Guest
#39
#39
Will most certainly pray for you and your unborn child. Hope these words will be of comfort when I was pregnant with my son I was in a very stressful position at work and we were worried about the effect it might have on our unborn child I am happy to report that I now have a very healthy 4 year old. Please take care of yourself and eat healthy and get plenty of rest even if you don't sleep much.

God Bless
Elaine
 
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