M
My husband and I have only been married for a little more than a year, and we've already been going to seeing a marriage therapist since the third month. Our entire marriage has been rocky, but now it just feels like it's falling apart, and there's reason to stay.
My husband has a genetic disease where he has dormant tumors in his brain and spine, which has left him 100 percent deaf and blind in one eye. Despite this disability, he owned his own landscaping company and did beautiful work. During our courtship, he convinced me he could do anything that a "normal" person could, drive a car, lead a healthy, happy life, and have children. I believed him.
Three weeks after we got married, he had a seizure, and ultimately had to give up his business and could no longer drive or do any kind of heavy outside work. My life has been completely turned upside down since then, taking him to doctor appointments, hospital visits, moving into his grandmother's house. We almost separated in February due to his depression reaching a low point and him taking out his frustration on me.
He started processing more of what the therapist was telling us, and realized he was going to lose me if he didn't shape up, so he do better. We've been more or less getting better since then.
However, yesterday and today have been heartbreaking for me. He told me he decided that he didn't want to have natural children because there is a 50 percent chance the children will have his genetic disease. We had already agreed BEFORE we got married that we both wanted to try for natural children. I guess there's always adoption, but I feel so hurt and betrayed by my husband making this decision for the both of us.
I feel like I've given up so much for this marriage, and he hasn't sacrificed nearly as much as I have. He agrees. It doesn't feel fair. And now with him saying he doesn't want children, I feel like he deceived me during the courtship in order to get a nursemaid and a someone to be there so he won't be lonely. I feel like there's almost nothing in this marriage for me, and I want to so badly to give up.
I am a very faith-filled person. I meet with my spiritual advisor once a month, and I pray every day for God's guidance. I feel like I'm being unfaithful to God for wanting to leave, to seriously begin the annulment process, especially with husband's illness. But I also feel like I'm letting myself down, like this is not what I know marriage is supposed to be like. We're only 30 years old. There were not that many good times before all the other stuff happened. I just don't feel like I can hold on for much longer. I cry all the time, and I'm miserable.
Please pray for guidance for me and my husband and healing. Please. Thank you.
My husband has a genetic disease where he has dormant tumors in his brain and spine, which has left him 100 percent deaf and blind in one eye. Despite this disability, he owned his own landscaping company and did beautiful work. During our courtship, he convinced me he could do anything that a "normal" person could, drive a car, lead a healthy, happy life, and have children. I believed him.
Three weeks after we got married, he had a seizure, and ultimately had to give up his business and could no longer drive or do any kind of heavy outside work. My life has been completely turned upside down since then, taking him to doctor appointments, hospital visits, moving into his grandmother's house. We almost separated in February due to his depression reaching a low point and him taking out his frustration on me.
He started processing more of what the therapist was telling us, and realized he was going to lose me if he didn't shape up, so he do better. We've been more or less getting better since then.
However, yesterday and today have been heartbreaking for me. He told me he decided that he didn't want to have natural children because there is a 50 percent chance the children will have his genetic disease. We had already agreed BEFORE we got married that we both wanted to try for natural children. I guess there's always adoption, but I feel so hurt and betrayed by my husband making this decision for the both of us.
I feel like I've given up so much for this marriage, and he hasn't sacrificed nearly as much as I have. He agrees. It doesn't feel fair. And now with him saying he doesn't want children, I feel like he deceived me during the courtship in order to get a nursemaid and a someone to be there so he won't be lonely. I feel like there's almost nothing in this marriage for me, and I want to so badly to give up.
I am a very faith-filled person. I meet with my spiritual advisor once a month, and I pray every day for God's guidance. I feel like I'm being unfaithful to God for wanting to leave, to seriously begin the annulment process, especially with husband's illness. But I also feel like I'm letting myself down, like this is not what I know marriage is supposed to be like. We're only 30 years old. There were not that many good times before all the other stuff happened. I just don't feel like I can hold on for much longer. I cry all the time, and I'm miserable.
Please pray for guidance for me and my husband and healing. Please. Thank you.
