May God help me.

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place... my husband believes he's dying, and not matter what I tell him, what I suggest, he has an answer.

He's not been diagnosed with anyting at all, in fact through many blood tests there were no irregularities found.. yet. He believes he's dying, and that God's not letting the Doctors find his illness because its his time.

I'm going insane here...

Do I slap him silly or support him and show compassion, I can't do this anymore... the past 12 months its been a roller coaster with him being "Ill" one thing after the other...

I've suggested help, I've suggested everything... but he's refusing.

Does he not see what this is doing to his Wife and kids? How can a man be so self centered!

Well Crimson, it started in 2013, when he was diagnosed with a Hernia, after that we changed his diet, but he always feels ill in his stomach and breathy, so time continued, he went on Nexium pills for his Hiatus Hernia. Then in October it took a turn for the worst, we ended up rushing him to hospital for breathing attacks which I really think was more ansiety, but he says he is not anxious at all. Then in December he ended up in Hospital for a suspected heart attack, after so many blood tests and Cardiovascular tests, everything was perfectly normal. A week later another incident. We ended up in hospital again, this time they thought that his hernia was bad enough that his stomach was pushing through into vital organs *lungs and heart. They did another Gastroscopy and this time around, there was no sign of a hernia... so once again we went back home.
My brother who is also a minister in one of the local churches came and saw him and suggested that he leaves wheat, try a gluten free diet... and then his condition improved... now this of course allowed the back injury to surface and in May this year, he ended up in hospital for a Spinal Fusion... its one thing after the other, but he's been tested for it all.

HIV
Balarzia
Anemia
Sugar
heart ensimes

I mean I have lists and lists surely if there was something like cancer affecting his health they would find irregularities in some of the tests right?

I really think its an angsiety disorder, his feeling of impending death shows signs of depression, yet he denies this. He says he's not depressed, or scared. He's come to peace with the fact that he's dying.

I can't cope... honestly... I can't.

on top of that they did Ultrasounds to check the size of his liver, gall bladder, prostate etc and everything is NORMAL even his heart....

So let me glean from your previous posts and diagnose his situation:

He's got a hernia, a bad back with spinal fusion, respiratory/anxiety issues, presumed heart attack, but everything tested ok, suspected hernia distention into the abdomen, but again tested ok. Had some relief with gluten-free. Suspected anxiety disorder. Driving wife and kids to anxiety disorders of their own

I have stomach issues, and diet is key to placating them. My system has gotten to where it rejects every form of man made sugars. The gluten free is important too; the gluten is the tissue between the shell and the seed and it's purpose is to keep molds and bugs from getting to that seed. Refiners grind it up with the seed because, well, it keeps the molds and bugs from getting to that seed. But then you eat it, and now you have nature's anti-fungals and pesticide in your gut. Some guts can take it, mine not so much anymore. It could be the issue with him. Either way, which is the way you really want to eat? So I'd start there, no more candy or cr*p. If he complains and makes you buy it, next time he goes to the doctor quietly take along an apple or some such thing. Then, as he's waiting for the probing and prodding, offer it to him and ask him if he wouldn't like to change his mind.

The anxiety thing, you can't be held hostage to it. You should comfort and support, but if he's going to be a whiny baby you have to sit him in a corner where he can whine it off himself. I realize that's easier said than done with some people, but really beyond comfort and support what more can you do? If he he keeps playing the 'I'm dying" card, you need to trump that. You need to put an estate plan in front of him, whether to make new or update, and if he blows that off you have the right as a spouse to call a lawyer in for that purpose. You need to put funeral plans and arrangements before him as well. Not in a vindictive way, but as in 'well honey I'm praying for you to be well, but you raise an important subject that we should look at even if we were well...'. Besides actually needing these things in any marriage, having them under his nose might give him a visual on what he is spewing from his lips.

And worst come to worst, you have a right to extricate yourself and your children from an unhealthy/hostile environment. Sometimes the best medicine can be to give someone a look at life without, you know? And you can't help him if you're wrapped tighter than an airport sandwich. It doesn't have to be divorce nor does it have to be separating, it's just getting away to take a breath and help save everyone's sanity. "in sickness and in health" includes your health too. And your children's.

God bless you. I'll be praying for you all. Amen!

It does almost sound like a panic attack, but you said: "He says he's not depressed, or scared. He's come to peace with the fact that he's dying."... So, that makes me think maybe not... But I don't know. I'm not a doctor.

In what you listed, you did mention improvement in one area of his health by changing his diet. And you mentioned he actually needed a spinal fusion for another issue. If he actually needed those things, then at least you know those are real tangible issues that you could deal with head-on. From there, I don't know what to add yet, other than maybe make sure you are careful not to not let those legitimate health issues add emotional weight to the more frustrating suspicious/undetectable one(s).

Lord Jesus, give your knowlege and wisdom, and whatever the sickness may be , please heal him, and let this family, and the pottersclay, lead a peaceful life

He should talk to a counselor. Unfortunately mild mental illness is so stigmatized that people tend to avoid treatment. It's not like he's a raving lunatic or something, but he has a mild delusion that is effecting his life. There is treatment, so he should go and get treatment. Otherwise, pray for him and I will continue praying for him as well. Certainly there are many people on this forum praying who do not click "like" or respond. Be faithful and encouraged.

God bless.

He hasn't been at work for 6 weeks after his Spinal Fusion, he's due back tomorrow. But post the opp, he was off sick very often, he's expired his sick leave substantially... management notices this. Anyway... I don't know. Maybe he really is ill... Maybe the doctors are missing something.

Raving lunatic... he has serious mood swings, which he writes off to him feeling ill and inadequate all the time. The one moment he'll be the footprint of love, the next he rages through the house, telling everyone how pathetic we are. This in particular I have managed to simply ignore, because well simply because I've grown immune to those outbursts, other times, he'll simply lock himself away in his study for hours on end, this too, I let be, if thats where he finds his peace then so be it... Last night I suggested he sees a psychologist, just to get things of his chest perhaps, maybe the specialist could determine what could be wrong. I've even thought "Bipolar" but he wont do any of that. His response to me suggesting counselling or psychology treatments... is "They can tell you exactly what's wrong with you, but if you dont do anything about it, then its useless, so why go?" Which to me says "Yes my dear, I know whats wrong with me, but I like the way I am so I'll just stay the way I am" .... I will pray that God reaches down and make him feel loved and take away his pain and discomfort... mentally or physically.

One word... Google....

praying for the truth to come forth of this situation