My friend and her faith.

I am struggling to be Godly and supportive of my friend, who has various health problems, and learning difficulties.

I am currently stuck between a rock and hard-place because she is being all "woe me woe me, i can't understand the bible and the sermons." and when i have asked her if she'd like me to go over the sermons that have been done in church she says "NO." So now I have come to the conclusion with a friend that she has lost her faith but won't admit it, and she is continueing down the "I can't understand the bible." and i have told her this...to add insult to injury, various members of my church that she became friends with and I all chipped in to buy her an "EASY-READ Bible"that was not cheap, so she could understand.

I don't know what to do anymore. i cant be honest with her because it ends up in an arguement, and when i am honest she doesn't see how it affects me. i have tried talking to her and I keep brushing it under the carpet to save our friendship, but I can't take much more of the woe me, woe, me.

Hello Christina

Here's how I help people and se if this works for you. Let's say I have a tool box in it with lots of tools and each tool that I have does something different than the other tools. If the tool you're using on your friend is not working, well may be it is the wrong tool for the job. However, before I use any particular tools I must assess the situation for which I contemplate for the specific tool to be used. In my tool box, there are tools of bible knowledge including tools of scripture and tools of prayer, tools of empathy, tools of love, tools of guidance, tools of individual one to one support, tools of compassion, tools of inclusion (putting self in their shoes and seeing what help they need as though i were in their shoes, or what effectively that person would need - not what I think they need). Included in tools of love are tools of listening. Sometimes, we have went right through our tool box and in defeat, we say i can do no more for this or that person. Instead, we could say you know what I have tried all my tools except just to listen which is to not just hear audible stimuli but to process that stimuli as information to inform us (in contrast to hear.. which is just audible sounds stimuli).

If one tool is not doing its job, I use another tool until I find the tool which is right for the particular job. You know we all have our problems, not one of us is perfect. Sometimes, we need to stop trying and let God do His work. After-all, Jesus died for you friends too. However, there is an exception to this rule, whilst we're waiting on God to do His work and that is just try and encourage your friend. Jesus was asked how many times are we to forgive people's sins, '7 or 70 times?' To which Jesus said, '70 x 7 times.' Jesus did not mean literally 490 times, as it was Jewish tradition to use hyperboles, that is it to say use an idea and exaggerate it to illustrate a point, a moral to the story etc. I do believe we can take from Jesus example to use encouragement, perseverance, and any other tool required to help people. So how many times should we help fellow believers who may have lost their way, or have become impeded on that journey, 7 times, 70 x 7 times, or alternatively whatever it takes? In Christ, as Paul says, we can do all things, 'when I am weak, I am strong.' We should never give up on people whilst they still have a mustard seed of faith in Jesus, in the gospel. When we cannot do it, we ask Him to step in.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Lord we pray for the friend of faithful_learner, speak to her and let her know you, and worship you, yes Lord let her know you and live according to your will , please bless her, and both these friends, so that they have a sweet fellowship, and prayer together, in Jesus Holy name, Amen!

Hey,

I just want to say that you did all to help her.
Don't be anxious anymore
and continue to live your life with God for sure.
Because by being stressful
you can't see pretty little things happening around you.
Don't forget that only you can change yourself
and your way but those of the others.
So I'll post you a verse!
God's Jesus peace be with you and your friends!

I have just sent my friend a lengthy email, explaining all my frustrations, the ball is in her court if the friendship is going to last but as a disciple of Christ, I will do his will.

ChristianUK, I have been putting myself in her shoes and as you know it is not easy but when I do put yourself in that person's shoes, i can't see how I can help her...I don't know how I can help her anymore.

I could do it at first but I cant anymore.

thank you!

Thanks. I needed to hear that.

I like your signature too but I am struggling to give all and receive nothing

My dear sister Cristina,

I am per your request praying for you and your friend. I thought also I might share some experience I have sharing God with others who are unable or unwilling to hear words about God or scripture.

It is written, let us now love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. The love I give to others must be the love of action, much like the love of action that God did for us. Before we even knew what we needed God provided it for us.

I have a friend named Mark. When I met Mark he hated anything and everything to do with God because he was raised by a hypocritical father who forced godliness on Mark all the while being totally ungodly himself. From the beginning of our friendship Mark told me, "I don't want to hear anything about all that God shit. I don't believe it and I don't want to hear it." I just said ok. What I did with Mark and His wife Kim, was become friends and love them the way God has taught me to love. Often either of them did things wrong to me and I always forgave easily persistently loving them and even talking about God in terms people don't consider. Like Love. I believe in love. I worship Love. God is love. But I didn't share those words, just talked about love, and how I believe it is important to love others. How i believe in truth and that it is important to speak the truth. I really didn't talk about the word of God instead I lived it in front of them. Mark and I used to go fishing pretty often. Once on his boat on the lake He asked me, "aren't you Christian?" I told him yes. HE began asking me what Christianity was all about along with opening up and sharing all the wounds he had suffered. On that boat that day my friend turned HIs life over to God. I never tried to talk him into belief. I just lived as God has taught me to live and loved my friends exactly the way they were/are. no words can ever speak as loudly as actions speak. I suggest you ask God to help you love your friend the way God loves all of us and just continue to love her day in and day out, respecting her wishes and choices of what she will and will not discuss. God will work through your love. We can trust HIm to guide us in all that we do.

Sorry I wanted to say :
Don't forget that only you can change yourself
and your way but those of the others.
But Not those of the others!!

Listen, stop worrying first of all. We all have slightly whacky friends...my advice to you is put her in Jesus' hands. Don't ignore your friend, just step out of the friends' zone for a bit. You say she has learning difficulties - so do I as you know - i am dyslexic as you know. Sometimes, reading an easy to read bible is not the answer. What your friend needs, by the sounds of her requests to you, is a Home Group where she can learn about Jesus from people who know Him in a less formal manner. I am first to say the bible is not the easiest book in the world to understand and i am relatively educated too. However, having said these things if your friend's relationship is really causing you worry and frustration, as I said earlier the best thing you can do is to have less contact with her. I really feel for your friend as it must be really hard on her to have learning difficulties (or learning disabilities or both). I wonder if your friend would like to try that website where she can just vent when she wants to. The one I told you about. Cristina, you're a nice girl and my friend, I don't want you to be stressed and neither does God. Just put her in God's hands and let Him find her a solution. I will help you in any way I can. You have a blessed day. Tom

Have you considered she is this way with you because you allow her to be and there is no, real, prompting to change her thinking or attitude.
Try this... 'hey, i know you've been struggling lately, and i'm sorry, but you refuse help every time i offer it. Perhaps you could tell me what it is you need, rather than me just guessing because it's becoming a drain on me and i can't keep up all of the arguing we do over it. I will be around less, but if you want to tell me what it is that Will help you and when you're ready to listen and act i will be here'.

Ugly, I have tried that route of asking her what she needs me to do and she says she doesn't know. The stress doesn't come from guessing what she wants or needs, It's the constant arguing when she doesn't like my honesty. I am too busy trying not to offend her that I ask her if she wants me honesty and give it to her...it ends up in a argument and it's that I can't deal with.

I have Aspergers Syndrome and arguments stress me out and CAN lead to a meltdown. They haven't so far but that''s because I am aware that that is what is happening and I put in measures to prevent a meltdown.

if I could stop worrying I would but as I have said above it's the actual arguments that stress me out.

My dear Sister Cristina,

God does give us burdens. Each of these burdens is God calling us to pray. Our enemy does not want us to pray because our prayers are powerful. Instead our enemy wants us to worry which accomplishes nothing. God expresses this clearly. I use a very simple phrase, "I do not worry, I pray with thanksgiving."

Do not worry about anything but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Arguments do indeed stress us out because WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO PARTICIPATE IN ARGUMENTS.

2 Timothy 2:23Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.

Titus 3:9
But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.

Something I still do regularly is ask God how to love a specific person in specific circumstances. I will often pray for days over such things because in many circumstances I don't know what to do. God always answers me and I do exactly what He tells me to do. I want to love everyone in all circumstances the same way God loves me but the truth is that in many circumstances I just don't know what to do. I have to rely on God for the details.

With my mother this meant not talking about scripture or God at all. It meant not playing my Christian music around her. When I did she would ask me to turn it off. It meant not listening to scripture around her because when I did she would ask me to stop. However, my mom did believe in God. Whenever she had concern for anyone she would ask me to pray for that person and of course I did. My mother began to suffer with Alzheimer's during the last year of her life. I moved in with her to take care of her. I played scripture at night in my room quietly. One morning she asked me if I would play, "the man who was reading those comforting words" to her during the day. So of course I did. I noticed she did calm down a lot when she was able to listen. She passed away in March of 2014.

Different people need different things. Different people want different things. We need to love them as individuals, taking on their burdens as our own. We need to be patient and love them in action, listening, being compassionate and forgiving. We need to set aside our will and our desires and our needs and love them like they have never experienced love from anyone else. WE can only do this in God's power depending on God for all the details and circumstances when we don't know what to do. I can not think of one person in my life with whom I have known how to love them in all circumstances and did not at some point need to ask God what to do and how to do it. I absolutely need God in order to love others in God's power.

I want to thank you. Your desire to love your friend is awesome. I will be praying for you that God direct you how to love your friend, and everyone else in your life; in each circumstance and empower you to walk in obedience to HIs direction. Your desire for righteousness and godliness is commendable. I am certain that God is delighted in you because of these things. I believe we all need to recognize that we can not love the way God loves us except that we depend on HIs strength and power in every detail. We can do all things through Him who gives us strength.

All glory and honor and power and praise and thanks always be to our God and father.

Thank you one and all. I needed those words.

As I have said I have sent the email to this friend and I felt fabulous afterwards because I got the things I needed to get off my chest...off my chest. She hasn't replied to my email but I am not bothered because I have told her what I needed to.

i need more prayers.

pray that i will be wise in my response to texts and messages from my ex-friend.
and pray for her as she doesnt acknowledge my feelings and calls me names.