My heart aches

HE doesn't have to win every argument, but he just never sees anything wrong in anything he does, if something goes wrong he blames me or kids. His father left him and his brother when he was like 5, he started another family, he of course blames his mom for this not his dad. He's tending to follow in his dad's footsteps by thinking it's ok to drop our family and start over with someone else who has no clue how he really is. There is already someone a younger girl that is getting in the middle of our relationship, I started to reach out and tell her something but instead he found out and got very upset with me . I think I need to accept our marriage is over, I really tried everythingand prayer doesn't seem to be enough. Today I found a credit card transaction for macys.com for $200 he doesn't shop at places like that for hiself so I'm pretty sure it's a gift for sometime but not me. I really appreciate everyone's prayers and advice but I'm done it's a lost cause. Thank you

So, your position is "Never mind, God. I'll take care of this myself"?

Leaving him might well have been God's answer for you. Now you'll never know.

So, your position is "Never mind, God. I'll take care of this myself"?

Leaving him might well have been God's answer for you. Now you'll never know.

Yes selfish self centered is one of the best ways to describe him. I don't talk bad about him on front of the kids, if anything I try to cover it up or fix it . For instance couple days ago kids where outside playing soccer and he came home seen them and acted like he was going to join in but instead kicked the ball towards the head of one of my 10 year old twin he was quick enough to move out of the way so it didn't hit him, my husband got the ball again after and kicked it far across to neighbors house on other side of a busy street where he knew they couldn't go get it themselves, he then proceeded to come inside get his check and walk off to the store. Kids where upset about whaty happened I just hugged them told them their dad had a bad day at work, wasnt feeling good and didn't mean to do what he did and that he still loved them. Not sure if that helps because they are all smart kids they see how he is and they notice he never tells them sorry or hugs them or even says he loves them (he thinks that's gay to do) those are his words. They always try to get his approval or make him happy but they get let down. They make him stuff at school or home, they make him food for when he gets home , never a thank you. I just tell them that I'm sure he likes the stuff they do he just forgets to tell them. By the way one of our teen neighbors seen what happened about the soccer ball incident and brought the ball back to them and actually stayed here to finish the soccer game with them, so the kids where very happy about that and was I to see the smiles and happiness in the faces and hearts.

No I haven't left him it's just that I feel no matter what I do what I pray, nothing seems to get better only worse

If he's cheating on you, that's Biblical grounds for leaving him. The Lord Jesus was very specific on fornication. That "man" doesn't deserve you or your beautiful children. Just be careful he doesn't bring home one of those diseases for you to catch. I'm so sorry- it must be heartbreaking. Still praying for you and the children. I was praying for your husband; as I learn about him it's getting hard to do so. God will deal with him..

today they are still waiting for him to come home, they want him to play basketball or soccer with them, he of course won't answer their texts and when he gets home he'll ignore them, or refuse to play with them aND say he either has to rest because he just got home

Whats wrong with YOU putting them in a Basketball league ????
Whats wrong with YOU putting them in a Soccer League ???

Cant be that hard to call up the YMCA or the local parks and find out when a league is starting up ...

Put faith in MAN/WOMAN and u will get LET DOWN --- Put faith the GOD and he will COME THRU

GLORY TO THE FATHER

Probably because after you prayed you didn't give God time to answer. God answering was the purpose of studying his word.

Aren't you doing the same thing to God that your husband is doing to you -- showing up occasionally, and talking occasionally, but not really listening?

Prayer is us talking to God. The Bible is God talking back. The two go hand in hand. It's not supposed to be a one way street. You told God what you wanted. When did God tell you what he wanted for you?

Truly you are in a difficult situation. I'm not saying that you should belittle or insult your husband but I don't think that you should lie to your kids either. If he doesn't love them then he doesn't love them. I think it would be easier for a child to understand that a dad never loved them because he was too busy loving himself, rather than they weren't good enough to be loved. It's like running a race without a finish line. You can't win that race, so don't let it be the marker for your worth. If they do believe that this is just what fatherly love looks like, how will they be able to bless their own children one day? In all honesty, I don't feel emotional. My motives are very logical. I wasn't always this way. My coping scars run deep but I own them. When I am with my own children, I can enjoy them and we laugh. They bring me joy and stress. I do not stay married and be a dad because of an emotional bond. I understand what my children need and I give them that. My wife can sense that I do not adore her. Adoration would be a response to her being adorable. The love that God calls us to do is not adoration, dependent on the ability to be adorable. Agape love, which we are called to do, refers to the putting others needs, included and ahead of our own whether they deserve it or not. It's not an emotional or physical love, it's more dutiful. You serve by submission not feelings. My focus is on Christ and I ignore my flesh. It is the Spirit that guides me. If I followed my flesh I'm sure I would be more like your husband. We are different, not because I am better, but because who I choose to follow is better. We are all slaves in this world, the only difference is who we call Master. Don't hear me wrong, I experience pleasure and satisfaction from them, but pleasure and satisfaction can be found everywhere. Where your husband chooses to find it is what makes him, him.

Suzy, we know you are praying. And even though the Bible says that we are to "pray without ceasing" it can be discouraging. As many know, my wife is a long-time alcoholic. Years ago I followed the principle of praying all of the time about my situation- I had pictures and little reminders everywhere to get me to remember my wife in prayer. After a couple of years, I got discouraged- partly because God wasn't responding to my prayers the way I hoped He would. AND, all of this seemingly futile prayer for my wife was dragging me down a slippery path of depression and self-pity. So I pray for her in the morning when I have my devotions and when I go to bed at night. And that's it. I decided to let God deal with this- it became obvious to me that I need to let God be God, and that thinking that any effort on my part to change my wife would be taking away from His glory. So please pray for your husband- but try not to let it consume you. Take care of yourself and your children- God will deal with your man. Does that make sense?