Please pray for me, I'm freaking out....

awww. I asked are you able to talk to your mom? Do you think you could sit down with her, or is she aware? I just think of my son when I speak to you on here and how I truly hope & pray that in all things I can be a soft place for him to fall or a rock to stand up for him & I pray that as he gets older we are able to maintain this level of trust for it would sadden me to know my son was going through things such as you are and feel alone. much love to you Brian.

Yeah, both of my parents know about my anxiety problems and my fears.

Since the question got deleted... I'll post the question I asked again here... Don't want people thinking weird things about me...

Okay, so i went to work 7 months ago(I don't work there now), and they made me shave. After I finished shaving, I stupidly took some toilet paper(it was still in the dispenser, though some of toilet paper was sticking out), and not knowing if it was used it or not. It didn't look like it used but I didn't pay close enough attention to know for sure. and got the shaving cream off my face, and yes there was more than one cut for the something to get into it. if there was something like guy stuff or girl stuff on there, would I have a chance of getting a std from it? I don't know how long it was setting there. There's was more than one cut for the something to get into it. if there was something like guy stuff or girl stuff on there, would I have a chance of getting a std from it? I don't know how long it was setting there. There's no sign of any other stds. I had shave because I work at mc donalds. The bathroom is coed that's why it could be either one. And don't say anything to me about getting checked anyway since I'm a virgin. Most of the reason is that I'm waiting till I'm married for sex. Though it really doesn't matter right now since girls don't like me anyway.

There is a girl out there who likes you Brian. You have to like Brian first in preperation for the girl. You remind me of another Brian I know...This brian, well, he was sad & downtrodden and over weight & didnt take care of himself because he told himself what does it matter no one sees who I am anyway. This Brian I know & I love and we are not our packages we are the soul within our package. This brian met the most amazing & wonderful woman online in a Christian website & they've been married 13 years now.
I know this is a tough thing & hard for me to relate to as I have always had fairly high self esteem but self esteem does impact how the world sees you. My older brother is georgous perfect in every way but has no confidence and only sees the bad... My younger brother is in world view"flawed" his teeth are crooked his left eye always looks left and he's gotta little chubbie goin on. He is the most amazing upbeat confident happy guy. Now one of my friends asked how my brother was doing... I said which one, she said the good looking one I said my older brothers name and she said no the younger and described my younger brother. His attitude, humour & zest for life causes one to see the most beautiful guy ever (Dont get me wrong I think both of them are perfect, I wouldnt change them, except i'd give my older brother confidence) I'm hoping you get my point. When you focus on your flaws you reflect that focus and thats not good. Start focusing on the good Brian things & there are many... but dont focus too much less you become narcissitic. & dont tell everyone of how amazing and awesome you are... for this is the wrong way to focus on your positive. Just silently when you speak to yourself stop saying bad stuff, start saying good & by all means take your anxiety meds.

I'm just paranoid about getting hiv... I don't think getting testing from the other 2 hiv fears will help me out in the long run...

He's the newest one if you guys are wondering...


Okay, so I was asked to help with setting up before church today so I did. After it was over, I was meeting some new people since it was my 1st time doing it. I was meeting people and had to shank some hands. For some reason there was guy I'm was really worried about. The problem is that I have a cut on my hand caused by my cat. I probably have gotten it before 2:00 pm. This hand shake took place a little bit after 7:20. I don't think I saw him have a cut on his hand, but what if he did have a bleeding cut and the blood got into my cut. Would I get aids if the cut closed off(stopped bleeding), and his blood got on the cut? Sadly I forgot to check if my hand had blood on it after I shooke his hand, before I washed it with soap...

Already prayed that Jesus shielded you from any risk.
Know that you are protected by Our Lord Jesus.
You are always in my prayers.
God bless, pickles

Tomorrow is a new day Brian. Please stop worrying about this stuff. I know easier said than done but get your mind on other things ok. memorize some scripture, read a book, read "THE BOOK" when your brain starts going there know that these concerns are real but should be a passing thought. LIke when I was cleaning chicken and cutting it & had a paper cut on my hand... what disease could i have now? I thought about it for a second, washed & hand sanitized my hands, put on my rubber gloves & continued to prepare dinner & didnt think of it again until this instant. I could have spent the next 7 days worried that I had some sort of blood disorder from that contact but honestly I cant worry about all these littel things. As I said tomorrow is a new day & I am certain you need a small adjustment on your meds. All the best tomorrow.

thanks...

And yeah, I'll be seeing my phychiristist tomorrow. then I should be going a higher dose of my anxiety med the day after tomorrow.

I think I'm gonna try to move on based on the fact that I'm a fast clotter. Usually cat scratches stop bleeding within 1-5 min, not 5 hours...

That is a good start - not the reasoning behind it - but at least you are willing to move on. Feel good and relieved! You're one step closer to getting away from all these fears!

Brian your fears are out of control- to the point of worrying about things that you're not sure was THERE. God hasn't given you a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind. If you are a Christian you need to condemn these feelings in the name of Jesus and stand on the promises of God that you are entitled to have a SOUND mind. That means that no matter what happens these feelings have no place in your heart. That should be something you say out loud and claim by prayer. This would be an example of spiritual warfare.
Rebuke and claim.

Another word for you Brian: "Do not put your trust in princes (or how about doctors?) in moral men, who can not save." -Psalm 146:3

We can't even trust people as powerful and wise as princes, what makes you think their words can save you from anxiety? Now dont get me wrong I believe in medicine and psychologists and all but I dont put my full trust and hope in them. I believe God works with these people and through them but I dont believe in trusting their ways fully. This is why spiritual warfare is important for you Brian. Through the help you are recieving medically realize the CHRIST is the one who saves and heals you mentally and emotionally altogether.

Here is a great passage (the king of all spirital warfare scriptures):

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Eph. 6:12,13

great post dread!

I know, I know. Loose and Bind stuff right? Just like binary, only easier... But isn't this a lot more dangerous to play around with when you don't know what you're doing?

you get assistance for sure... I thought you had someone you were getting advise from on here on spiritual matters? Your pastor? did you get your meds altered today?

Like I said, he's paster friend from CC. Sorta, but I won't get a chance to pick up the meds till today. Then i'll be starting them tomorrow. Sadly, after that it'll take another 2-3 for the meds to take full effect. >_<

This is day 2... howsit going Brian?

I couldn't get meds because the insurence wouldn't cover it. So I'll be going back to the phyciriitrist tomorrow, and this time I'm going to request that I go on the meds my dad is on. He used to suffer from the same type of anxiety I used to have.

Good grief, I'm sorry. We know in this that it wasnt Gods will for you to be on that paticular one. Pray for Gods will to be done in this situation that he would bless you and you would put your hand upon the med that is perfect for you with the least side effects. Bless your heart!

Don't worry about it, as you guys could see it wasn't helping me that much. If it was helping me a lot then my Dad probably would have either paid for the meds or fought the insurence insurence so they can take care of most it.