He is always right beside you. Honestly, I would pray about exactly what you've said in this post. I've been in the same place you are many, many times. Every time, I pray about it. For hours, even. Whatever it takes. And the Lord has never let me go to sleep feeling far away from Him. He lets His presence known by filling me with the Holy Spirit. His voice guides me to read from the Bible, or things like that. You just have to talk to Him, He is ALWAYS here for you and by your side. God bless and I will pray for you!!