Hi all I hope all is well.
My emotions are running rapid tonight. I'm not really sure what my emotions are exactly. I watch as members of my family become sick, and/or growing old. As well as my parents. It's not an easy sight to bear. Watching loved ones suffer from simple tasks they were once able to do with no problem.
I spend every day praying and trying my best to make sure my family grows in their faith and grows closer to God, and it brings me peace of mind. But watching time pass so quickly is hard, for sure, and is never easy. Sometimes I just want time to slow down a little, I'm not quite caught up.
Some cousins who were once very close to me, suddenly acted distant out of no where, which happened about a year ago. Our connection wasn't the same, and I felt as if I had done something, or perhaps they moved on? In either case, it made me upset, and I was contemplating a million reasons as to why. I now feel selfish of feeling upset. Granted, I miss their friendship, but I was ignorant to what was truly going on. I found out today my Aunt has fibromyalgia, so the doctor thinks, but there is also a possibility of cancer. She was diagnosed with cancer only a few short months ago, and finally had it treated. Her current state does not look good to me, and I'm worried. It looks worse than the doctors guess. Of course, they are still keeping an eye on it to see if anything changes. My cousin who was previously one of the closest people to me, now seemed a stranger. She looked tired, no energy, and distant. From everything. My heart was and is broken at that sight. I want to help, help them all, but I know that's not in my power. God is in control.
Another Uncle I saw tonight (I was at a graduation party) looked so ill as well. He, also, was diagnosed with cancer only a short time ago- he thought it was treated- but things aren't looking good. He has lost so much weight, drained of energy.My heart breaks at the sight yet again. A man who has lived his life as a decent, nice, and loving person; now stuck in a world of tiredness and sadness.
My dad was once diagnosed with cancer. The Lord was good. Luckily, the doctors stopped it before it became worse. And it was defeated very quickly. Cancer is a scary, hard thing.
I also watch as my parents and grandparents grow older and their bodies don't function as well. They have less energy, are more tired. It scares me in some way. Time is what's scary. But I have to remind myself that our good God and Jesus Christ will never forsake us. He will helps us through these hard times, and carry our burdens. As so long as I have to live this life, I will spend every waking moment I have bringing myself, my family and strangers closer to our Savior. He is the ONLY way. After deepening my faith with Him, the hobbies/interests that I once found fulfilling I now find meaningless. Quite honestly, every minute of my precious, precious life, I want to be spent with the Lord. Glorifying Him in all that I do. Because He is the only place I find true fulfillment. Materialistic things, worldly desires, they won't matter in the end. They aren't what's truly important. Family, friends, and most importantly God. Those are the three things that should come first no matter what.
So in that, I think I'll finish.
I ask for your prayers in the healing of my loved ones, the strength to carry on, and the growing of faith with my Lord.
My emotions are running rapid tonight. I'm not really sure what my emotions are exactly. I watch as members of my family become sick, and/or growing old. As well as my parents. It's not an easy sight to bear. Watching loved ones suffer from simple tasks they were once able to do with no problem.
I spend every day praying and trying my best to make sure my family grows in their faith and grows closer to God, and it brings me peace of mind. But watching time pass so quickly is hard, for sure, and is never easy. Sometimes I just want time to slow down a little, I'm not quite caught up.
Some cousins who were once very close to me, suddenly acted distant out of no where, which happened about a year ago. Our connection wasn't the same, and I felt as if I had done something, or perhaps they moved on? In either case, it made me upset, and I was contemplating a million reasons as to why. I now feel selfish of feeling upset. Granted, I miss their friendship, but I was ignorant to what was truly going on. I found out today my Aunt has fibromyalgia, so the doctor thinks, but there is also a possibility of cancer. She was diagnosed with cancer only a few short months ago, and finally had it treated. Her current state does not look good to me, and I'm worried. It looks worse than the doctors guess. Of course, they are still keeping an eye on it to see if anything changes. My cousin who was previously one of the closest people to me, now seemed a stranger. She looked tired, no energy, and distant. From everything. My heart was and is broken at that sight. I want to help, help them all, but I know that's not in my power. God is in control.
Another Uncle I saw tonight (I was at a graduation party) looked so ill as well. He, also, was diagnosed with cancer only a short time ago- he thought it was treated- but things aren't looking good. He has lost so much weight, drained of energy.My heart breaks at the sight yet again. A man who has lived his life as a decent, nice, and loving person; now stuck in a world of tiredness and sadness.
My dad was once diagnosed with cancer. The Lord was good. Luckily, the doctors stopped it before it became worse. And it was defeated very quickly. Cancer is a scary, hard thing.
I also watch as my parents and grandparents grow older and their bodies don't function as well. They have less energy, are more tired. It scares me in some way. Time is what's scary. But I have to remind myself that our good God and Jesus Christ will never forsake us. He will helps us through these hard times, and carry our burdens. As so long as I have to live this life, I will spend every waking moment I have bringing myself, my family and strangers closer to our Savior. He is the ONLY way. After deepening my faith with Him, the hobbies/interests that I once found fulfilling I now find meaningless. Quite honestly, every minute of my precious, precious life, I want to be spent with the Lord. Glorifying Him in all that I do. Because He is the only place I find true fulfillment. Materialistic things, worldly desires, they won't matter in the end. They aren't what's truly important. Family, friends, and most importantly God. Those are the three things that should come first no matter what.
So in that, I think I'll finish.
I ask for your prayers in the healing of my loved ones, the strength to carry on, and the growing of faith with my Lord.