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I'm deeply sorry if this is not a good prayers request. Really need prayers or advice right now. I always struggled with making friends. I heard you never get tough how to make friends. I think that is true and I really needed that somewhat. Ever since moving where I am now things been.... not good and very bad making me question things and hard time letting god in or anyone. I really have a sporting family and I am glad for that but having depression it's hard to explain or tell them my feelings. They do care but don't understand me all the way. Since I moved here I had 6 friends or somewhat people I really opened up too. All hurt me in some ways that made me not trust people and let help in from others. I really sorry I can't explain this all it would take a long response from it. More or less I did some things I guess to make some of my relationships end too. But I think I didn't. I have depression so somedays I have it hard but really been doing better so it is not bad when growing up. I guess people don't like me being sad and don't want to be around me. I try to be happy I really do but its not easy as pie.
I admit I can take part in ending friendships If I have but every time its that other person. 6 friends now none where I live. Since I moved here. Only ones I have on here are online. Most likely wont be-able to really hang out with them since they live other places. Some I might meet if I can but way...down the road. I'm so at my wits end here. I been thinking about it some lately and today a letter from an old well now ex friend. Made it Really worse on me. All I can say since its long too we had ups and downs I did try to tell them I have to REALLY work on myself since they brought me down bragged about there life and pushed me a lot forcing me to suck it up. Just.. not good things. And I though they would write a letter about maybe asking me why you stopped talking to me or hi and stuff. I was ready for the worst. But now its really worse.. all I got is like add's to buy things online that's it........
As my past Prayer thing on here ties in with that too. I dont know why I get people in my life who I think are good turn out to be bad to me and leave me with really bad thoughts. I'm so sick of this. I try and try and all I get is pain. It makes me feel Like giving up and whats the point. I been hurt enough. My heart is nearly gone and I want it back to beat again.
I wont hurt myself if anyone thinks that no. I'm very frustrated man and sad right now. I just needed to vent but really get help. This is my last place...for help or comfort and all that. I DO want god in my life more than ever. And I know forgiving and moving on and letting go is important. But how can I when the past comes back or I finally meet someone new and open up and they hurt me again. I really can't take this my heart can't take this. I am sorry if this is bad and if I get banned I'm very sorry I just dont know who to talk too. I can't so much my family since they cant really understand me or help since they dont have depression. I did speak with my christian therapist before this and opening the letter.
I have yes support and all that but...I just so wish this would end and I can hold someone close I can laugh and smile again. To feel love from another person. I still question myself my life and things but yeah..
One person on here I really enjoy talking too so far since I been here. Been kind to me and made me laugh and still dose. Some I can really talk too. I am so thankful I said hello to them and they enjoyed my company as well with out I would be not well still. There is so much I would love to do to show them how much they helped me. I just hope they see this too..
Well thats it.
I admit I can take part in ending friendships If I have but every time its that other person. 6 friends now none where I live. Since I moved here. Only ones I have on here are online. Most likely wont be-able to really hang out with them since they live other places. Some I might meet if I can but way...down the road. I'm so at my wits end here. I been thinking about it some lately and today a letter from an old well now ex friend. Made it Really worse on me. All I can say since its long too we had ups and downs I did try to tell them I have to REALLY work on myself since they brought me down bragged about there life and pushed me a lot forcing me to suck it up. Just.. not good things. And I though they would write a letter about maybe asking me why you stopped talking to me or hi and stuff. I was ready for the worst. But now its really worse.. all I got is like add's to buy things online that's it........
As my past Prayer thing on here ties in with that too. I dont know why I get people in my life who I think are good turn out to be bad to me and leave me with really bad thoughts. I'm so sick of this. I try and try and all I get is pain. It makes me feel Like giving up and whats the point. I been hurt enough. My heart is nearly gone and I want it back to beat again.
I wont hurt myself if anyone thinks that no. I'm very frustrated man and sad right now. I just needed to vent but really get help. This is my last place...for help or comfort and all that. I DO want god in my life more than ever. And I know forgiving and moving on and letting go is important. But how can I when the past comes back or I finally meet someone new and open up and they hurt me again. I really can't take this my heart can't take this. I am sorry if this is bad and if I get banned I'm very sorry I just dont know who to talk too. I can't so much my family since they cant really understand me or help since they dont have depression. I did speak with my christian therapist before this and opening the letter.
I have yes support and all that but...I just so wish this would end and I can hold someone close I can laugh and smile again. To feel love from another person. I still question myself my life and things but yeah..
One person on here I really enjoy talking too so far since I been here. Been kind to me and made me laugh and still dose. Some I can really talk too. I am so thankful I said hello to them and they enjoyed my company as well with out I would be not well still. There is so much I would love to do to show them how much they helped me. I just hope they see this too..
Well thats it.
