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Hi, I am new here. Well I have been married for 11/2 year now. Am Indian. Mine is a arranged marriagae,bt we both belong to different communities. He is Tamilan and I am Telugu. WE both are Christians by birth though.
We met each other on a matrimony site. There family met me 1st and later they came home and met my family. They asked for 150soverigns of Gold at the beginning. My father passed away,i have a yonger brother. Mom denied the proposal and told them our financial status(We belong to middle class).I am overweight too. Yet they wanted to go on with marriage. I have told everything about myself to my husband(ie am short tempered, stubborn, sensitive,i havent done any household chores and we have servant at home). He was ok with all of this initially. I even told him i dont want to get married for the 1st 1year atleast. N WE got married.
And my new life started. He stays along with his parents. He has younger brother who eloped and got married and has a daughter. I never knew it would be joint family when we got married as his parents told they would go and settle down in their native. Well anyways i got adjusted. He never used to take me anywhere out, when I ask him to take me he tells me that his parents will feel bad about it. He dint take me to any restaurant and he tells his parents cook food for us and they will feel bad if we dont have at home. With great struggle he used to take me out for beach. We had dinner out once bt he hid it from his parents. this used to hurt me a lot. WE used to go out as if we were secret lovers. Inspite of this i used to clean vessells(which i hate the most),I used to help in cooking(as i donno to cook),chopping veggies,sweeping,mopping at times. I learnt cooking gradually. I used to take care of house. Yet my mother in law never considered me as family. My husband used to tell I have absolute freedom at home, I can have whatever I want. I have tea/coffee only twice a day, even for that my MIL says i shouldn drink milk more(they hav atleast 5 times a day), I should use only lil coffee pwdr, I shouldn do this, that. If we go out and come both my in laws will be unhappy(at times they don talk to us for atleast 24hrs). Yet I was quite.
Inspite of all the work I had another big responsibilty of taking care of his Brother's daughter(coz her parents used to go for work). They leave the gal who is very naughty and hard to manage all the weekdays from 2 PM to 10 PM. Now My husband has this attitude that Wife should obey him. Wives should submit themselves to their husbands. I do cook,i wash vessel, i sweep the house and i take care of his bro's kid. Inspite of knowing that i havent done any of this at my Home he made me do this. now he wanted me to mop every single day. I said I cant do it everyday as i am tired of all the work at home already. He started saying that its my duty to do all the work. He never told me any of this when we got married or before marriage. They treat me like servant. He never takes me out now coz i have to take care of the work r i have to take care of the baby.
Now we had argument about the work at home and only one thing he says again and again is that wife's should obey the husbands no matter wat and we should submit overselves to husband a/c to bible. His Parents started saying am Overweight and Dats y we don have children yet. They knew right from the beginning that i am obesse. I couldn go for walk as i have too much work at home. My husband couldn even take me to hospital couple of times saying that they dont have money. Bt they keep buying so many unnecessary things, they buy chocolates for the baby, they buy dresses and toys for her. I have left the house and came to my maternal house as i Couldn stay there anymore.
We met each other on a matrimony site. There family met me 1st and later they came home and met my family. They asked for 150soverigns of Gold at the beginning. My father passed away,i have a yonger brother. Mom denied the proposal and told them our financial status(We belong to middle class).I am overweight too. Yet they wanted to go on with marriage. I have told everything about myself to my husband(ie am short tempered, stubborn, sensitive,i havent done any household chores and we have servant at home). He was ok with all of this initially. I even told him i dont want to get married for the 1st 1year atleast. N WE got married.
And my new life started. He stays along with his parents. He has younger brother who eloped and got married and has a daughter. I never knew it would be joint family when we got married as his parents told they would go and settle down in their native. Well anyways i got adjusted. He never used to take me anywhere out, when I ask him to take me he tells me that his parents will feel bad about it. He dint take me to any restaurant and he tells his parents cook food for us and they will feel bad if we dont have at home. With great struggle he used to take me out for beach. We had dinner out once bt he hid it from his parents. this used to hurt me a lot. WE used to go out as if we were secret lovers. Inspite of this i used to clean vessells(which i hate the most),I used to help in cooking(as i donno to cook),chopping veggies,sweeping,mopping at times. I learnt cooking gradually. I used to take care of house. Yet my mother in law never considered me as family. My husband used to tell I have absolute freedom at home, I can have whatever I want. I have tea/coffee only twice a day, even for that my MIL says i shouldn drink milk more(they hav atleast 5 times a day), I should use only lil coffee pwdr, I shouldn do this, that. If we go out and come both my in laws will be unhappy(at times they don talk to us for atleast 24hrs). Yet I was quite.
Inspite of all the work I had another big responsibilty of taking care of his Brother's daughter(coz her parents used to go for work). They leave the gal who is very naughty and hard to manage all the weekdays from 2 PM to 10 PM. Now My husband has this attitude that Wife should obey him. Wives should submit themselves to their husbands. I do cook,i wash vessel, i sweep the house and i take care of his bro's kid. Inspite of knowing that i havent done any of this at my Home he made me do this. now he wanted me to mop every single day. I said I cant do it everyday as i am tired of all the work at home already. He started saying that its my duty to do all the work. He never told me any of this when we got married or before marriage. They treat me like servant. He never takes me out now coz i have to take care of the work r i have to take care of the baby.
Now we had argument about the work at home and only one thing he says again and again is that wife's should obey the husbands no matter wat and we should submit overselves to husband a/c to bible. His Parents started saying am Overweight and Dats y we don have children yet. They knew right from the beginning that i am obesse. I couldn go for walk as i have too much work at home. My husband couldn even take me to hospital couple of times saying that they dont have money. Bt they keep buying so many unnecessary things, they buy chocolates for the baby, they buy dresses and toys for her. I have left the house and came to my maternal house as i Couldn stay there anymore.
I have no idea what to do now. I told him I will not stay there if his parents are there. He says he'l never leave his parents. He says am not being a daughter of GOD, I always respected his parents though his parents hurt me n no of times. I always listened to him. He was very spiritual. Not now though. He knows more about Jesus and Bible than me. I maynot take the references from Bible bt i Know about GOD. He takes references from Bible and he tells am not obeying GOD. Bt I did everything. Nw he asked me what did my family do to him, like what did i get from my home. After his parents involvment and saying that their relatives think that i have some health issues and I may be barren I don wan to be with them. I love my husband. What should I Do?????