Men's forum

[AnandaHya]

Hi I don't know if it has been suggested or not but could we please please have a men's forum that allows men talk about their sex problems and over active sex drives and inability to resist porn and other such topics?

please?

I don't see how we as christian women can really help them or their situation and i have heard that this is a manner that wolves lure women into their trap.

the women admit to a man that they have a problem and then it goes downhill from there.

cyber sex is still a sin.

I'm sorry but its just I don't think its healthy.

I know its hard to control thread creation but perhaps if the men had their own forum and you put it in the rules that you should talk about sex with people of the same gender, it would solve some issues. well maybe not the homosexual ones, but nevertheless some issues might be addressed.

Perhaps I'm being a prude but I don't think men and women should be discussing these things with people of the opposite gender unless they are their spouse or their parents.

I mean this is suppose to be a christian site and there are lot of teenagers who look and comment on the forums. i just find it disturbing.

sides I think men get a lot of just male conversation at times. I know women do.

[needsadvice]

This is a GREAT idea.

[MissCris]

That is a good idea...I guess I assumed they had one, since the ladies' one is only visible to us girls.

[BADDOG]

ok this is very odd ,,,,so far the mans page where we can talk about some issues ,,,and its only ladys who talk in here lol lol

maybe we should have a room where the ladys can gossip about there men !!!

cause men dont want to talk about this ,, and never have done .... so ladys knock yourselfs out have a ball

[Jilly81]

I started a similar thread before the site crashed in January, and I totally agree that we need one (we already have a women's forum, BADDOG; it just doesn't show up unless the person logged on clicked "female" when they first signed up). It would be great to have a place where the guys can discuss male-only concerns. A few times I've just read the title of a thread and wished there was a men's forum .

[AnandaHya]

Originally Posted by BADDOG

ok this is very odd ,,,,so far the mans page where we can talk about some issues ,,,and its only ladys who talk in here lol lol

maybe we should have a room where the ladys can gossip about there men !!!

cause men dont want to talk about this ,, and never have done .... so ladys knock yourselfs out have a ball

have you seen the "family" and "singles" forums with the thread title

"help me with my masturbation" and other such things?

I normally just say a pray and move on but after a while I noticed a pattern that it is mostly men who make them on those forums.

women tend to make theirs on the women's forum.

so.... I think it would be nice for the women and teenagers not to have to read about men and their sex problems.

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Yes please start one, not trying to sound ugly, but im tired of all the masturbation threads. Then when us ladies respond we get the cold shoulder so to speak cause we just "dont understand"

[Ugly]

This was suggested a short while back already. I'll repeat what i said then. Mens forums usually fail. Every site i've been on that had a mens forum was rarely used. men just don't gather together to talk the same way women do. typically what i see is when the forum is first opened a few men try it, but it doesn't take long for them to realize few are responding or posting at all, so those that do try give up. then months go by before anyone even attempts to post again.. which usually gets little to no response.

[nanabean]

Ok.......so what is another suggestion/solution to having the masturbation and other sexual threads stop appearing in Family Forum or Misc. Forum?? Because as has already been said, woman won't really "understand", and the teens just don't need to see them.

[rainacorn]

Anything that would encourage the older men to start caring about their younger brothers would be great. It's always younger people and women giving advice.

WHERE ARE ALL THE GODLY MEN?!

[Ronin]

The age old Catch 22. How do men deal with issues in general not just sexual but emotional spiritual. In a world where men are being marginalized and bombarded with things not just sexual but where we stand as men. Yes women don't understand. How could you. You are not men. And now there are rarely examples of how to be a man. Men rarely have the knowledge to deal with issues and yes ladies no matter how much you explain we haven't the first clue how to understand you. We are being pulled in so many directions at once. The devil will attack us first Ladies we are the Heads of Families and many all beit too many fail in their obligations to Christ to our families and to oursleves. We are sinners and imperfect. And yet what women think of as talk we find that we end up being talked down to. Our sons are being taught things that from a bible standpoint make no sense. And we men arent teaching them what it is to truly be a man. To take up your cross. But when we do act as such women haven't the first clue how to deal with us. Women have an idea what a Godly man is. or thier own idea what that is. Just as the Knight in Shining Armor ladies that man doesn't exist. Every Man of God struggles with sin and life and love and family and work. In this time where men are out of work where men are feeling less than what a man is, guess what they have to deal with that too. So yes men by the millions are dealing with that and yes the Sexual issues which are more than some can handle. Ladies you don't Understand....Only God Does and even trying to walk that path we fall but were trying. GET OFF OUR BACKS

[Jilly81]

Originally Posted by Ronin

Ladies you don't Understand....Only God Does and even trying to walk that path we fall but were trying. GET OFF OUR BACKS

Ummmm, Ronin......This is the wrong thread to be saying that. All the females who posted here have agreed that we don't understand (or something similar). It just comes across as being mean for you to tell us to get off your backs, though I'm sure that you didn't mean it that way. I don't get the impression that most guys understand women's emotional needs and desires, though I've accepted the fact.

Also, Ugly, I'm wondering if perhaps the problem of the guys not responding in male-only forums could be solved by having a notification when someone posts, or something similar? Also, I think that this site would have a little bit better response than most sites...I could be wrong, but when the site crashed in January, I checked to see if there were any other good Christian sites. I'm sure that there are some, but the ones I came across....well, let's just say that nearly all the members had been banned (literally) or nearly every thread was about adultery. I was quite glad when the site came back online a few days later, as it was this or nothing. Thanks for the hard work, admin and mods !

[AnandaHya]

Before I even finished reading this, I just wanted to give you a hug and say we all love you and even if you don't believe we do then you should know that God does.

I don't want to tear down our men, I just think some discretion should be used. not only out of respect for us women but for the men suffering from such issues as well.

If the problem is that men don't get a response, then we need to see if some of the older men will be wiilling to talk to the younger ones about these issues. I know of at least two would volunteer a few hours mentoring to young men. One of them told me they ONLY wanted to mentor to men but seemed to always be surrounded by women.

So I think there is a disconnect between older and younger men that need to be bridged. Most of the mods are men, so I don't get it and your right I'm a woman and I don't get a lot about men and what they are going through. that is the whole point.

I believe women should uplift and thank their men for all the wonderful things they do and for standing between us and some of the harsher things in this world. I love my husband and he protects and shelters me. I try to comfort and show my appreciate when I can....

this might be a good time to thank the mods and the staff of the site for all the work they do. I'm not trying to be critical in a negative way. I just think it would be benefical for all involved if men could and would speak amongst themselves concerning certain topics.

Originally Posted by Ronin

The age old Catch 22. How do men deal with issues in general not just sexual but emotional spiritual. In a world where men are being marginalized and bombarded with things not just sexual but where we stand as men. Don't look at the world and what they want you to be. Pray and read the Bible and learn who GOD says YOU ARE to BE. His beloved child. strive to be like JESUS, not the image of the world, or what the world says a man should be.

Yes women don't understand. How could you. You are not men. but older men do and the younger should learn and they can edify and comfort one another.

And now there are rarely examples of how to be a man. Men rarely have the knowledge to deal with issues and yes ladies no matter how much you explain we haven't the first clue how to understand you. but do you know how to love?

We are being pulled in so many directions at once. but only walk towards God and seek ye the Kingdom of God and all else will fall into place.

The devil will attack us first Ladies we are the Heads of Families and many all beit too many fail in their obligations to Christ to our families and to oursleves. We are sinners and imperfect. and marriage is a partnership and women should take equal responsibility if it does not work. everyone should pray daiily for that hedge of protection around their family, pray together, eat together and learn to relax and play together too.


And yet what women think of as talk we find that we end up being talked down to. ??? why would anyone talk down to another?? sorry doesn't compute

Our sons are being taught things that from a bible standpoint make no sense. yeah why are they being taught that?

And we men arent teaching them what it is to truly be a man. To take up your cross. yes it would be a good thing to teach the younger generation

But when we do act as such women haven't the first clue how to deal with us. what kind of women have you been hanging around??

Women have an idea what a Godly man is. or thier own idea what that is. Just as the Knight in Shining Armor ladies that man doesn't exist. ahh the fairy tale prince? mmm no I like mine more rugged with a few scars, thank you very much...

Every Man of God struggles with sin and life and love and family and work. In this time where men are out of work where men are feeling less than what a man is, guess what they have to deal with that too. So yes men by the millions are dealing with that and yes the Sexual issues which are more than some can handle. Ladies you don't Understand....Only God Does and even trying to walk that path we fall but were trying. GET OFF OUR BACKS

sorry have to go planning over.

last note: we don't want to be on your back we want to walk by your side.

[Ronin]

I didn't mean to go on a rant earlier but...alas something needed to be said. We do have a disconnect between men and younger generations, alas the same can be said of women and younger women. And to answer your question the women I have hung around with are from all walks of life and yes even profressed Christian women are in that bunch too. No matter how men could explain it to younger men they couldn't understand it. Yet while we understand what they are going and growing through sometimes like war veterans they feel like no matter what you say to them no one can understand. Not to say that it isnt a reason to try, just that anyone who has delt with these issues. And men don't talk about things, they see it as a weekness, suck it up and drive on was the mantra growing up. Look to God and follow him and all things will be ok. I know and believe that...but for too many it is a struggle a daily one. Ladies we don't talk things out as easily as you can. Men do not lower their armor and trust enough times to let that happen. But alas im not a bitter and angry person I am content with alot but what you don't understand about men is about as much as we don't understand about you. If you just do this the problems will be over.....no its not. A man of God told me once that he prays daily and the same problems he had 10 years ago are still there. Its just easier to deal with them with God. That I understand. Uhhh...sometimes its pointless to try to explain things just so that men need believe in God and it will be allright.

[jimmydiggs]

A category just so we can talk about porn, masturbation, lust, et al?

[Ugly]

Originally Posted by Jilly81

Also, Ugly, I'm wondering if perhaps the problem of the guys not responding in male-only forums could be solved by having a notification when someone posts, or something similar? Also, I think that this site would have a little bit better response than most sites...I could be wrong, but when the site crashed in January, I checked to see if there were any other good Christian sites. I'm sure that there are some, but the ones I came across....well, let's just say that nearly all the members had been banned (literally) or nearly every thread was about adultery. I was quite glad when the site came back online a few days later, as it was this or nothing. Thanks for the hard work, admin and mods !

hmm.. i'm not sure, i've been on some forums that were as busy as this one or busier and the mens forums were always dead.

The problem i can see is that the men don't even bother looking into the mens forums. really it just seems that the men are not interested in a mens only forum. who knows, it might be different here, but from what i've seen i'd be surprised.

Actually i think relegating the whole porn/lust thing to a mens forum would backfire as there have been many men who have complained about the number of posts on the subject. so making a mens forum and moving all the porn/lust stuff there would only discourage a portion of them men from even looking in there as they wouldn't want to see those posts either.

also segregating it into male forum won't help the women that may suffer with these problems. while yes, it is a mostly male problem, there are still many women who deal with it as well. so if all you women don't know the first thing about it how can you help the women who may struggle?

[TheAristocat]

Originally Posted by Ugly

This was suggested a short while back already. I'll repeat what i said then. Mens forums usually fail. Every site i've been on that had a mens forum was rarely used. men just don't gather together to talk the same way women do. typically what i see is when the forum is first opened a few men try it, but it doesn't take long for them to realize few are responding or posting at all, so those that do try give up. then months go by before anyone even attempts to post again.. which usually gets little to no response.

Good point. I don't think men as a whole rely upon other men to solve their masturbation or porn issues. lol I mean, I think some men are genuinely humbled enough to ask about it. They understand they have a problem that needs to be solved in their lives that is sexual in nature but that they haven't been able to change themselves. It really doesn't bother me, whether it be a woman or man popping the question just as long as its genuine. But I did not know that about an invisible woman's section which involves these issues.

Personally I think men should have an invisible football forum.

[TheAristocat]

Originally Posted by jimmydiggs

A category just so we can talk about porn, masturbation, lust, et al?

Lol Jimmy. Another good point.

[TheAristocat]

Reading Ronin's post turned a light bulb on in my head. I guess one of the reasons why I crave intimacy rather than porn is because there are a lot of women out there who treat men as less than men. If a man abused a woman and manipulated them with his charm then would a woman feel like enjoying their strength, protection and quiet charm? Now reverse that. If a woman manipulates a man, uses her beauty to make him beg and acts in a cute manner or cries to draw his attention away from her mistakes then is a man going to feel like enjoying their beauty and feminine charm? No, because the beauty means they're a brat and the feminine charm means they're trying to manipulate us. So porn? No thanks. I just need a woman who cares. And preferably looks like Claudia Lynx.

[Steve4U]

Raincorn, Greetings to you, or Kia Ora Raincorn, as we say here, in the South Pacific.

The first thing I want to say is :

Godly men are here.

The next is: Yes, you're right, there are few.

I do comment in the family forum from time to time, as the Lord leads.

Mostly I see Godly women are already there doing a fine job. I could come in a bit more, but only as the Lord leads.

I do not comment in the teens, young adults or singles forum because of regulations, although I am aware that some do, and I don't usually comment in the Bible discussion forum because of the usual tone in there.

- - -

To me, if a younger man would like advice from an older one he should post in miscellaneous (especially if it's personal), or family ( because I believe mature Godly women can give excellent advice and do.)