L
I want to share with you something i have recently experienced.
I was supposed to go to a summer camp for about three weeks. "awesome!" I thought.
I have waited for so long and in my heart I was really thankful to God for that .
The day came to go to this christian campus and I and my friends went there.
As I arrived there , I was welcomed by all the member stuff and it was a very good moment.
I've felt away from my everyday life routine and I felt in my heart there would have been a good change of life and some change I needed ...
I Love nature and this campus was in a mountain: full of trees,green fields,animals and fresh air in the morning...wow! lol
I was involved in the cleaning section , so that I could pay half price to stay there even if all the christian people who run this campus are really good people,so there was no problem about payment.
The first week was the kid's campus,so there was lots of kids and the were some good programmes , like going to the seaside in the morning and then many good programs for kids during the afternoon for them.
Kids were grouped together in different sections and each section got two older guides who took care of their own group of kids. Each group was given a name like "Love" , " Long-suffering", " Mercy" ..
Actually I didn't have a group but we of the cleaning section were named the group of "Faithfulness".
First Day I woke up at 5 for intercession meeting, then meeting with all the staff of the campus and then I started my Job: I did the cleaning in the morning and I relaxed in the afternoon with the other kids guides walking under the hot sun,playing with kids and trying to relax from all the daily life experienced I have passed through this year ...
I've felt so relaxed and It was like I was "flying", "soaring over" all the difficult things I had experienced during this year.
Well,second day : In the morning I did the cleaning as usual and in the afternoon I relaxed.
During the evening I went to the toilet and I realized that I was urinating blood-colored pee and that worried me a lot. I suddenly remembered I had some kidney stones problems some year ago , so I was sure it was something related to it.
I called the doctor and He calmed me down and assured me it was some kindney stone moving and all of this blood-colour pee was normal... He suggested I should make some urine analysis the day after.
I talked to a sister there and she assured me of not worrying :the day after she would take the urine analysis to the hospital.
During the evening program for kids they were asked to pray for me. It touched my heart to see many kids praying for me laying their hands over me.
Then we all went to bed.
During that night I drank a lot as my doctor suggested and stayed up at night from midnight untill 2 am going to the bathroom and urinating the same blood-coloured pee ...
It was a long night and the more i went to the toilet the more i started to think "God,Why is this happening to me?" . "Why have you allowed it..?".
In moments like that , even if i had been assured by the Doctor and could see God's help , I felt frustrated,tired,angry at all of this situation. In fact that night has been the longest night of my life in which i felt so lost,discouraged and a real loser ...
In that moment I just prayed and said "God,show me your wisdom , coz i feel surrendered ...".
The only thing I've felt in my heart was to pack everything and go back home the day after . So I did.
The day after I asked the leader of this campus and he had to go back to my native city for some things he had to do,so he took me home.
All of my friends there greeted me warmly and they all wished i could come back again if I could make all the check-up I needed to feel better.
I can't describe how i felt that morning ... I was saying hi to all of my friends there and I've felt like I was broken inside ...didn't understand what was happening ...
I was supposed to stay there for three weeks and instead I couldn't even stay 3 days ... Wow...
I had waited for so much about this campus and it all seemed a miracle the fact of going there ...Then i had to come back home ...
As I came back all of my family was sorry for me .. I just didn't let everyone see my heart and how I felt ... I just started my everyday routine life ,making the check-up I need for these kidney stones and ... going on ... or trying to ...
This experience made me think a lot about my life and what I have come to realize is that sometimes our personal programmes are not God's plans or maybe they are not something we can fulfill.
I could think of a miracle that didn't happen...
At the campus I was given the name "faithfulness" : not a coincidence as I had to experience what it feels like to remain faithful despite all of this change of program I didn't expect ...
Sometimes I see people trying to claim a faith without basis of christian study of the word nor did they want to be taought by the word itself... That is dangerous.
Our Life is set upon God untill When we consider him God ...
I think that even if I hadn't received an instant miracle and I still don't understand the reason why I had to come back home instead of living the campus experience I desperately wanted and needed for , God remains God ...
I realized that faith is not something you can't claim in your life. There are not people of faith,there are just God's servants who learn what it means to be faithful to God in different difficulties of life.
My encouragment to all the readers is : Don't let bad situations and changing programs of life change the exact vision of who is God in your life .
God is able to heal and to "give what your heart desires" as well as He can just "lead you through the valley" and "teach you a new vision of life and wisdom in His choices.."
Sometimes in life we don't get what we want and we become frustrated,tired,angry at God. it's normal,we are humans and very often the weight of injustice towards God's children is inacceptable ... but on the other hand , there can be a great opportunity to let your Heart be changed by God's hands and to realize what it means to "go on into the valley" .
I know,it's difficult and probably i'm not here to make you feel guilty of your life.
Added to this I started to realize how often I've met brothers from all around the world who are living very bad situations and they still go on ..they still are faithful to God in silence,in their hidden suffering...with tears,discouragement and human failure they feel inside ...
These are the real christians who show what faith means ...
I Think that Faith is not " I claim by faith to have all that I want" ...
Faith is " God,Whatever it is,You remain my God ...".
As a friend and a brother,I just want to encourage you to depend on God's wisdom and to be led by His Love ...
He is God ...
He is your friend...
Your comforter ...
Your Wisdom in all of the situation you pass through ...
May His Word and His love enlight your Heart.
bye
I was supposed to go to a summer camp for about three weeks. "awesome!" I thought.
I have waited for so long and in my heart I was really thankful to God for that .
The day came to go to this christian campus and I and my friends went there.
As I arrived there , I was welcomed by all the member stuff and it was a very good moment.
I've felt away from my everyday life routine and I felt in my heart there would have been a good change of life and some change I needed ...
I Love nature and this campus was in a mountain: full of trees,green fields,animals and fresh air in the morning...wow! lol
I was involved in the cleaning section , so that I could pay half price to stay there even if all the christian people who run this campus are really good people,so there was no problem about payment.
The first week was the kid's campus,so there was lots of kids and the were some good programmes , like going to the seaside in the morning and then many good programs for kids during the afternoon for them.
Kids were grouped together in different sections and each section got two older guides who took care of their own group of kids. Each group was given a name like "Love" , " Long-suffering", " Mercy" ..
Actually I didn't have a group but we of the cleaning section were named the group of "Faithfulness".
First Day I woke up at 5 for intercession meeting, then meeting with all the staff of the campus and then I started my Job: I did the cleaning in the morning and I relaxed in the afternoon with the other kids guides walking under the hot sun,playing with kids and trying to relax from all the daily life experienced I have passed through this year ...
I've felt so relaxed and It was like I was "flying", "soaring over" all the difficult things I had experienced during this year.
Well,second day : In the morning I did the cleaning as usual and in the afternoon I relaxed.
During the evening I went to the toilet and I realized that I was urinating blood-colored pee and that worried me a lot. I suddenly remembered I had some kidney stones problems some year ago , so I was sure it was something related to it.
I called the doctor and He calmed me down and assured me it was some kindney stone moving and all of this blood-colour pee was normal... He suggested I should make some urine analysis the day after.
I talked to a sister there and she assured me of not worrying :the day after she would take the urine analysis to the hospital.
During the evening program for kids they were asked to pray for me. It touched my heart to see many kids praying for me laying their hands over me.
Then we all went to bed.
During that night I drank a lot as my doctor suggested and stayed up at night from midnight untill 2 am going to the bathroom and urinating the same blood-coloured pee ...
It was a long night and the more i went to the toilet the more i started to think "God,Why is this happening to me?" . "Why have you allowed it..?".
In moments like that , even if i had been assured by the Doctor and could see God's help , I felt frustrated,tired,angry at all of this situation. In fact that night has been the longest night of my life in which i felt so lost,discouraged and a real loser ...
In that moment I just prayed and said "God,show me your wisdom , coz i feel surrendered ...".
The only thing I've felt in my heart was to pack everything and go back home the day after . So I did.
The day after I asked the leader of this campus and he had to go back to my native city for some things he had to do,so he took me home.
All of my friends there greeted me warmly and they all wished i could come back again if I could make all the check-up I needed to feel better.
I can't describe how i felt that morning ... I was saying hi to all of my friends there and I've felt like I was broken inside ...didn't understand what was happening ...
I was supposed to stay there for three weeks and instead I couldn't even stay 3 days ... Wow...
I had waited for so much about this campus and it all seemed a miracle the fact of going there ...Then i had to come back home ...
As I came back all of my family was sorry for me .. I just didn't let everyone see my heart and how I felt ... I just started my everyday routine life ,making the check-up I need for these kidney stones and ... going on ... or trying to ...
This experience made me think a lot about my life and what I have come to realize is that sometimes our personal programmes are not God's plans or maybe they are not something we can fulfill.
I could think of a miracle that didn't happen...
At the campus I was given the name "faithfulness" : not a coincidence as I had to experience what it feels like to remain faithful despite all of this change of program I didn't expect ...
Sometimes I see people trying to claim a faith without basis of christian study of the word nor did they want to be taought by the word itself... That is dangerous.
Our Life is set upon God untill When we consider him God ...
I think that even if I hadn't received an instant miracle and I still don't understand the reason why I had to come back home instead of living the campus experience I desperately wanted and needed for , God remains God ...
I realized that faith is not something you can't claim in your life. There are not people of faith,there are just God's servants who learn what it means to be faithful to God in different difficulties of life.
My encouragment to all the readers is : Don't let bad situations and changing programs of life change the exact vision of who is God in your life .
God is able to heal and to "give what your heart desires" as well as He can just "lead you through the valley" and "teach you a new vision of life and wisdom in His choices.."
Sometimes in life we don't get what we want and we become frustrated,tired,angry at God. it's normal,we are humans and very often the weight of injustice towards God's children is inacceptable ... but on the other hand , there can be a great opportunity to let your Heart be changed by God's hands and to realize what it means to "go on into the valley" .
I know,it's difficult and probably i'm not here to make you feel guilty of your life.
Added to this I started to realize how often I've met brothers from all around the world who are living very bad situations and they still go on ..they still are faithful to God in silence,in their hidden suffering...with tears,discouragement and human failure they feel inside ...
These are the real christians who show what faith means ...
I Think that Faith is not " I claim by faith to have all that I want" ...
Faith is " God,Whatever it is,You remain my God ...".
As a friend and a brother,I just want to encourage you to depend on God's wisdom and to be led by His Love ...
He is God ...
He is your friend...
Your comforter ...
Your Wisdom in all of the situation you pass through ...
May His Word and His love enlight your Heart.
bye
