J
I was born nearly 31 years ago to a secular--but not atheistic family. My parents divorced when I was 2 but I was able to see my Dad somewhat regularly. They were both alcoholics(Dad more so than Mom). My Dad was raised in a somewhat Catholic home but I never really knew/cared until recently. I had never heard anything of Jesus beyond the small bits you hear on holidays and certainly never heard or cared about the gospel. I sometimes would pray to God when I was hurting or afraid "just incase He exists." I didnt know (I thought I didnt know anyway) whether or not He was real and never thought of it much. I just figured I'd find out when I die and that that was the only way to know.
Mid-teens I got involved in drinking and smoking pot and it eventually led to me being faced with the option of turning things around and taking school seriously or dropping out(this was the choice my Grade 11 principal gave me). I chose the latter so I could pursue having fun and partying. I was into making rap music at this time and hung out with people who have been to jail and were pimps/drug dealers. I thank the LORD I never got involved in that or any of the more addictive drugs, but nonetheless I was a certified daily pot head and drank more and more often as the years went on. I started smoking cigarettes. I met a girl and we dated for 3 years(fornication rampant) before she broke up with me. I was angry and deeply hurt about that.
Eventually(and I see this as the providence of God), I began having panic attacks brought on by my drug use. My fellow pot addict friend grew up Catholic and was a believer of sorts and we used to have drunken talks about bible prophecy and hell. He was the first to introduce me to some of the deeper concepts of Christianity. I had a mild interest but never really heard the gospel yet. He had a way of describing Hell that would really freak me out. I wanted to quit the drugs and it so happened that my family and I were moving so I used the big life change as an opportunity to quit smoking pot. I knew that if I still hung around with the same people I would not be able to quit. So I began avoiding them and one day they stopped calling but I kept in touch with my friend I mentioned. I was able to quit the pot but continued drinking.
Shortly after moving I had heard the famous "pray this prayer" sinner's prayer(no gospel explaination really) and figured "I may as well, just to be safe. If God is real and I pray this then I will not go to Hell. If He isnt real then I havent lost anything by trying." I prayed that prayer many times. Eventually my friend and I came upon the movie/book "The Secret" which is a new age 'power of attraction' craze that hit around that time. Basically it is a religion that puts God's power into our hands. If you simply desire something hard enough, the "universe" has no choice but to respond and manifest it for you(try telling that to the starving people around the world). So naturally I wished for the usual things, riches mostly. I would even pray to God for these things, promising that if He had me win the lottery I would totally share it!
That went on for a while. Looking back, I can see the hand of God at work on this next part: I won the lottery! Yep! I called my sister, I told my Mom...all the numbers are there! All of them! I'm gonna be rich! Then I read the fine print...the numbers all have to be in the same row. Oops.
Needless to say I knew "The Secret" was a sham. Thank you LORD! Still makes me laugh to this day.
My buddy and I had begun learning about the illuminati and New World Order and all of these occultic world leaders and their alleged plans(I dont know what you think about that stuff but bare with me). It was a far darker and more evil world than I had realized. And 'they' allegedly have plans to make it worse. It all seemed hopeless...and these rulers seemed to strongly believe in the devil's existence. I just thought wow, if this is what our future will be, what hope is there? The things which seemed to be in the works also lined up with biblical prophecy too. NOTE: I'm not sure where I stand on this whole illuminati thing now--I wrote this testimony last year and have changed my mind a bit since then. So I started looking to the LORD the only way I knew how. I kept praying that prayer. TV's Jack Van Impe told me if I have prayed that prayer then I was saved and I was a Christian so I started to believe I was. I dont want it to sound as though I was desperately seeking God here, I really wasnt. At some point I think I read the book of revelation because I was interested in prophecy/aliens/nostradamus/etc but didnt read much else.
Maybe a year or two later, best I can figure this would have been late 2009... If I recall correctly my friend and I thought ourselves to be Christians and had been learning some things in this time, but were still the same as we ever were really. Somehow he came across the "Shocking Youth Message" sermon by Paul Washer(I dont know if you are familiar with it) and he sent it to me and we watched it. He speaks about "praying a prayer one time" and living just like the world but thinking you are a Christian. He was the first believer I'd seen who was earnestly passionate about these things. He really believed it. It was reality to him. I hadn't seen that before. It was the first time I had heard the gospel explained clearly and it rocked the both of us. "We have to start taking this seriously" was our thought.
From that day forward, the LORD began to reveal things in our lives that needed to go. I was ripping posters off my walls, getting rid of my prized music and DVD collection and just totally seeing things in a new light. I began to really pray, and read and learn. As the LORD taught me through the scriptures, he would remind me of things in my past where I had sinned and basically over time took me through my whole life and the things I had done and I confessed them and repented. He also showed me all the chances and mercies which he gave me throughout. It was just incredible. I suddenly had interest in things I never did before and hated so many of the things I used to adore. My language cleaned up, I could handle situations with calmness and peace that I otherwise wouldnt have, I was learning so much and had such a hunger for more. The LORD taught me things about creation, science, the stars, history, politics, world religions, the occult, apologetics, evangelism, you name it. I knew I was different and my life would never be the same. Praise God! I felt the need to apologize to and forgive my ex-girlfriend and it was a great relief. I had not spoken to my Dad in 6 or 7 years and the LORD put it on me to forgive and reconcile with him and I am greatful for that. We had some time to get to know each other again for 3 years when he would die of lung cancer in Oct 2011. I was able to overcome my fears and witness to him before the end--I am not certain if he was saved before he died though. Jesus strengthened me so much through that time and I believe He used me in it for sure.
I thank the LORD that not one day has passed since that day in 2009 that He has not been in my thoughts. After about one year and much struggling I was freed totally from alchoholism. I can only explain that one as being the work of God. Yes I was a drunkard for one year into my walk with the LORD but He freed me. If I have even been tempted to drink even a sip since then it has been rare. About a year ago now(wow) He freed me from pornography(setting captives free - google it).
After much prayer and discussion, God drew my Mom to himself and I believe/hope her to be saved. I believe He is drawing my sister as well. There have been struggles. It was easy at first and I foolishly thought it would always be so but the last 2 years have been a trial but the LORD is carrying me through! I have tried a church or two but have great discomfort in social situations and have had nobody to go with me. This means I also have not been baptised and have only had the LORD's supper once with other believers. So there is growing to do.
All glory to Jesus Christ!
Mid-teens I got involved in drinking and smoking pot and it eventually led to me being faced with the option of turning things around and taking school seriously or dropping out(this was the choice my Grade 11 principal gave me). I chose the latter so I could pursue having fun and partying. I was into making rap music at this time and hung out with people who have been to jail and were pimps/drug dealers. I thank the LORD I never got involved in that or any of the more addictive drugs, but nonetheless I was a certified daily pot head and drank more and more often as the years went on. I started smoking cigarettes. I met a girl and we dated for 3 years(fornication rampant) before she broke up with me. I was angry and deeply hurt about that.
Eventually(and I see this as the providence of God), I began having panic attacks brought on by my drug use. My fellow pot addict friend grew up Catholic and was a believer of sorts and we used to have drunken talks about bible prophecy and hell. He was the first to introduce me to some of the deeper concepts of Christianity. I had a mild interest but never really heard the gospel yet. He had a way of describing Hell that would really freak me out. I wanted to quit the drugs and it so happened that my family and I were moving so I used the big life change as an opportunity to quit smoking pot. I knew that if I still hung around with the same people I would not be able to quit. So I began avoiding them and one day they stopped calling but I kept in touch with my friend I mentioned. I was able to quit the pot but continued drinking.
Shortly after moving I had heard the famous "pray this prayer" sinner's prayer(no gospel explaination really) and figured "I may as well, just to be safe. If God is real and I pray this then I will not go to Hell. If He isnt real then I havent lost anything by trying." I prayed that prayer many times. Eventually my friend and I came upon the movie/book "The Secret" which is a new age 'power of attraction' craze that hit around that time. Basically it is a religion that puts God's power into our hands. If you simply desire something hard enough, the "universe" has no choice but to respond and manifest it for you(try telling that to the starving people around the world). So naturally I wished for the usual things, riches mostly. I would even pray to God for these things, promising that if He had me win the lottery I would totally share it!
That went on for a while. Looking back, I can see the hand of God at work on this next part: I won the lottery! Yep! I called my sister, I told my Mom...all the numbers are there! All of them! I'm gonna be rich! Then I read the fine print...the numbers all have to be in the same row. Oops.
Needless to say I knew "The Secret" was a sham. Thank you LORD! Still makes me laugh to this day.My buddy and I had begun learning about the illuminati and New World Order and all of these occultic world leaders and their alleged plans(I dont know what you think about that stuff but bare with me). It was a far darker and more evil world than I had realized. And 'they' allegedly have plans to make it worse. It all seemed hopeless...and these rulers seemed to strongly believe in the devil's existence. I just thought wow, if this is what our future will be, what hope is there? The things which seemed to be in the works also lined up with biblical prophecy too. NOTE: I'm not sure where I stand on this whole illuminati thing now--I wrote this testimony last year and have changed my mind a bit since then. So I started looking to the LORD the only way I knew how. I kept praying that prayer. TV's Jack Van Impe told me if I have prayed that prayer then I was saved and I was a Christian so I started to believe I was. I dont want it to sound as though I was desperately seeking God here, I really wasnt. At some point I think I read the book of revelation because I was interested in prophecy/aliens/nostradamus/etc but didnt read much else.
Maybe a year or two later, best I can figure this would have been late 2009... If I recall correctly my friend and I thought ourselves to be Christians and had been learning some things in this time, but were still the same as we ever were really. Somehow he came across the "Shocking Youth Message" sermon by Paul Washer(I dont know if you are familiar with it) and he sent it to me and we watched it. He speaks about "praying a prayer one time" and living just like the world but thinking you are a Christian. He was the first believer I'd seen who was earnestly passionate about these things. He really believed it. It was reality to him. I hadn't seen that before. It was the first time I had heard the gospel explained clearly and it rocked the both of us. "We have to start taking this seriously" was our thought.
From that day forward, the LORD began to reveal things in our lives that needed to go. I was ripping posters off my walls, getting rid of my prized music and DVD collection and just totally seeing things in a new light. I began to really pray, and read and learn. As the LORD taught me through the scriptures, he would remind me of things in my past where I had sinned and basically over time took me through my whole life and the things I had done and I confessed them and repented. He also showed me all the chances and mercies which he gave me throughout. It was just incredible. I suddenly had interest in things I never did before and hated so many of the things I used to adore. My language cleaned up, I could handle situations with calmness and peace that I otherwise wouldnt have, I was learning so much and had such a hunger for more. The LORD taught me things about creation, science, the stars, history, politics, world religions, the occult, apologetics, evangelism, you name it. I knew I was different and my life would never be the same. Praise God! I felt the need to apologize to and forgive my ex-girlfriend and it was a great relief. I had not spoken to my Dad in 6 or 7 years and the LORD put it on me to forgive and reconcile with him and I am greatful for that. We had some time to get to know each other again for 3 years when he would die of lung cancer in Oct 2011. I was able to overcome my fears and witness to him before the end--I am not certain if he was saved before he died though.
Jesus strengthened me so much through that time and I believe He used me in it for sure.I thank the LORD that not one day has passed since that day in 2009 that He has not been in my thoughts. After about one year and much struggling I was freed totally from alchoholism. I can only explain that one as being the work of God. Yes I was a drunkard for one year into my walk with the LORD but He freed me. If I have even been tempted to drink even a sip since then it has been rare.
About a year ago now(wow) He freed me from pornography(setting captives free - google it). After much prayer and discussion, God drew my Mom to himself and I believe/hope her to be saved. I believe He is drawing my sister as well. There have been struggles. It was easy at first and I foolishly thought it would always be so but the last 2 years have been a trial but the LORD is carrying me through! I have tried a church or two but have great discomfort in social situations and have had nobody to go with me. This means I also have not been baptised and have only had the LORD's supper once with other believers. So there is growing to do.
All glory to Jesus Christ!
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