I grew up as any other Indiana born Texas raised boy did i suppose. I was born in the north but am southern at heart. I was always popular on the play ground I could run a football like no-one's bussiness from in-zone to in-zone without a single person grabbing my flag or tackleing me. I truly felt invincible on the football field. Kids always picked me first, my flag football team was happy to have me. I begged and begged my couch to let me run the football when I was but 5 years old. Finally the last play of the game he said ok Butch (that's the name my grandmother gave me when I was 2 days old and has stuck throughout my life) I ran that football from the one yard line on the kick-off to the in-zone without a single person touching my flag. The coach was flabergasted he said I should of had you running from the beginning. Well unfortuantly we moved and the town we moved too had no football team for 5-6 year olds.
I started playing on a school team in 8th grade. The coach didn't know what to do with me I was so big for a 8th grader he wanted me to be a line man. So I did as I was instructed and blocked. In a scrimage game with the varsity team my clavicle got broke and my mom was mad, she was so mad she went up there and told the coach he had no bussiness making 8th graders play 11-12th graders and I was no longer allowed to play football in school. However I dominated during recess and noone could tackle me I could spin out of any tackle.
I have been in and out of mental hospitals since I was 16 am 39 now. Prolly been to over 10 different mental hospitals in my lifetime. At first I was terrified to tell doctors what I saw, heard, smelt, or dreamed. I thought for so long I had to act normal to keep myself out of the hospital. Was truly terrifying for me growing up.
Then when I was 22 years old I was staying with my mom and her boyfriend. Was working on his ranch and staying in one of his sons rooms who was away living with his ex-wife or the sons mother if you will. And believe it or not there was a Ouija or weegie board in the closet. I had never missed with anything like that before in my life so i was curious. The little plastic thing really moved and I was talkin to something not me.
Whatever was moving the board spelled out that it wanted me to rape and kill. And my mama raised me right I immediatly said OMG that's evil. And I became very scarred. Then it spelled out that it was gonna kill me that night. I was freaking out. I was scarred outta my mind, I knew if I went and told my mom what I was experienceing back to the mental hospital. I hated those places all the drugs made me feel like a zombie half the time.
So for the first time in my life I cryed out to God, I cryed out to Jesus asking for help because I did not wanna die. A peace came over me I had never felt. I knew I would be ok, I immediatly put the board back in the closet. The next day I had such a craving to read the bible OMG I wanted to know God and I knew the bible had that information. Of course there was not a single bible to be found in the whole house. We was like 20 miles or so from town and I had no license or car. Well a few days later I told my mom what had happened and she immediatly made her boyfriend burn the thing with fire telling him under no reason would she stay in a house with a weegie board. We then went to town and she took me to a second hand store in town and I searched the store for a bible. I found an old NRSV bible tattered and torn and I broke down in tears and was so happy.
Went back to the ranch worked and read the bible at the dinner table and everywhere I went I could not put the bible down I read and read and read. Then one sunday I asked my mom if I could goto church and she gave me a ride and dropped me off at a Carpenter's non-denominational church. Was a female preacher/pastor and she was talking about the prodigal son. Then asked if anyone wanted to be saved I immediatly said yes and accepted Christ into my heart. Praise God!
When I first got saved was at a Carpentor's church non-denomational. After I accepted Christ into my heart. The Holy Spirit did not want me to return to that church. So according to the word of God the Holy Spirit bid me to become baptized. So I went all over Sydney Montana tryin to find a church to baptize me. None would. Not one single church would baptize me i called and went to all different churches for weeks. Then finally i went to a assembly of God the pastor told me that he was having a baptism on that weekend for other church members and that i could come on down and be baptized you bet.
Was huge for me my mom and her boyfriend drove all the way from the ranch 20+ miles to see me baptized. My mother had not stepped into a church for at least 6 years that I knew of. The pastor of that church was very careful with me as was the woman pastor at the carpentor's church who said the sinners prayer. Both told their congregation in my hearing to not influence me to try and persaude me in any way. And I took that to heart and have not let my faith nor hope be swayed but by the Holy Spirit, the scriptures, and that which I witness all around me.
Now I would like to tell you that it was easy street and a bed of roses after that but unfortuantly that would not be the truth. Well my 17 years has been one hell of a ride let me tell you The Spirit of the Lord has lead me to preach on the street corners of america, homeless and in my life I have forsaken all for the sake of the gospel. I have suffered much for Jesus. I was diagnosed with schrizaphrenia when I was 16. And have always been the odd man out since my illness manifested.
People would often fist-fight me, hit me, kick me, knock me down. Even before I was saved I could never bring myself to hit people back. I suppose some could say and often said that I was afraid. But those that would hit me would leave saying OMG your nuts cause I would stand up look them right in the eye and say that all you got hit me again. If that is the kinda person you are just kick me in the head.
My fear was not of them, but I have always feared God's judgement for my actions. I feared God would be angry at me if I inflicted pain on others.
So, anyway after I was saved I tried to the best of my abilty to forsake all for Christ preached on the street corners, in the highways, the bi-ways the lowest and forgotten places of america. At one time God even lead me to Salt Lake City, Utah to preach in the temple courtyard and the sidewalk around the temple which I walked 3 times by God's decree. This happened in 1998 or so I think. can't remember exact date. I did see people video tapeing me and have heard people say that I was placed on a watch-list because of this.
The Spirit of the Lord compelled me to goto Salt Lake City and preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. As I was walking through the state of Nevada from Las Vegas. I was walking because a Nevada highway patrol man had stopped me and told me no hitch-hiking in NV and he followed me walking for at least 3 miles before he left. A white pickup stopped and offered me a ride a man his woman and their 3 kids. So I happily took the ride because I trusted God and knew he wanted me in Salt Lake and believe it or not that is where they were going. This man was speeding down the highway going at least 100+mph. I was in the back of the truck with 2 of their children. I was praying begging God to protect us with His Holy angels because we were going so fast. The left front side, the driver's side front wheel blew and the guy pulled over.
He was truly amazed that we were all alive he said we should all be dead cuz he was going so fast, and the truck should of flipped over. His wife looked me dead in the eye and said who are you? I said I am Cameran. she asked why are you goin to Salt Lake City? I said because God has compelled me to go there and preach his gospel on the streets of Salt Lake. She said I heard you praying for God's angels to protect us from harm and He did. The man slowed down alot as we finally made it to Salt Lake City. They dropped me off and the lady told me God Bless.
I was going to start preaching on the street corner in salt lake but God compelled me not too. The Spirit compelled me to go into the Temple Court-yard downtown Salt Lake on temple street. Compelled me to go in and sat quietly on the ground in the temple and read the Book of Isaiah to myself quietly. As I was reading a woman very nice said you can't do that here you can't sit there on the ground. So i stood up to move and The Spirit of the Lord came upon most mightily and I was preaching. You strain at a gnat and you swallow a camel. You see this temple there is not one stone that God could not tear down. And some other things which I honestly can not remember. Two men dressed in black suits softly and respectively escorted me out of the temple. As we got to the gate on the outside of the gate there is a sidewalk that circles the entire temple outside the gate. I was gonna walk away I thought I was done but The Spirit of the Lord was upon me again and compelled me to walk the entire sidewalk three times preaching as I had in the temple. I was not only preaching I was belowing with a loud voice. Everyone was stareing at me police officers, people on the street, secruity guards, many were taking pictures and videos. (I have never been able to find any account of this in the paper or the internet.)
After the third pass I was walking away from the temple and a limo stopped and an 50]s or so man got out and asked: Who do you say you are? I said I am a believer. He asked who do you say I am? I replied as God compelled me I do not know why I said this, outside you are clean but inwardly you are full of deadman's bones. Then as the Spirit compelled me I walk off in a huff, stomping my feet. I preached on the street corners for a week in Salt Lake before I left.
For what that is worth about 11 years ago I meet a woman named Cher and we confessed our love for one another and married ourselves under God and made a vow to God that we would remain faithful to one another.
We were not married in a church were not married legally by any of man's ways. God blessed us with a little girl named Rachel. However at the time of her pregnancy her, her mother, and her church all wanted her to get an abortion. They all said we was nuts and were living in sin. Which very well maybe I have no idea. I do know I shaved my head and made a vow to God Almighty to remain faithful to her. So I honor that I do not fear man. I do fear God.
Well needless to say I tried to get custody because her sister was given my daughter the judge ruled that her sister would have custody because me and Cher both had a mental illness history. So I became so angry at the entire world, at God, at mankind, at myself and I truly just wanted to die. I was praying for God to take me home because if these are the rules if this is my life I can't take this crap anymore. No I was not sucidal I was not gonna kill myself by any means I fear God and now that is wrong.
Well whether you want to believe me or not I had a vision in my mind of an Angel of Lord God Almighty wielding a flaming sword. I didn't see him physically. I saw and heard him in my mind. He told me "Cameran you are forever loved, Cameran you are forever forgiven, Cameran you are forever redeemed, Cameran you are forever justified, Cameran you are forever saved." I felt the tears from this angel fall upon my eyes around the sides and below them. I felt them embed in my skin like an unseen tatoo. I can't explain this and I am not trying too.
So has been 10 years for me being seperated from my wife if you will I use the term losely. I have not laid with another woman and will not unless I become truly married under God and man. All I can do is warn you. Do not take your vows to Lord God Almighty hastely or lightly for He will bring everything rather secret or unsecret to judgement and you will have to give an account of yourself for all the things you know about and even those things you do not know about. Which I am sorry to say is alot more than the things you know about. Becareful when you entertain strangers for some have
entertained angels unware.
God Bless and thank you for letting me share a little of my life with you. I hope this has helped you understand that I can honestly say It is not I that live, but Christ that lives within me.
I started playing on a school team in 8th grade. The coach didn't know what to do with me I was so big for a 8th grader he wanted me to be a line man. So I did as I was instructed and blocked. In a scrimage game with the varsity team my clavicle got broke and my mom was mad, she was so mad she went up there and told the coach he had no bussiness making 8th graders play 11-12th graders and I was no longer allowed to play football in school. However I dominated during recess and noone could tackle me I could spin out of any tackle.
I have been in and out of mental hospitals since I was 16 am 39 now. Prolly been to over 10 different mental hospitals in my lifetime. At first I was terrified to tell doctors what I saw, heard, smelt, or dreamed. I thought for so long I had to act normal to keep myself out of the hospital. Was truly terrifying for me growing up.
Then when I was 22 years old I was staying with my mom and her boyfriend. Was working on his ranch and staying in one of his sons rooms who was away living with his ex-wife or the sons mother if you will. And believe it or not there was a Ouija or weegie board in the closet. I had never missed with anything like that before in my life so i was curious. The little plastic thing really moved and I was talkin to something not me.
Whatever was moving the board spelled out that it wanted me to rape and kill. And my mama raised me right I immediatly said OMG that's evil. And I became very scarred. Then it spelled out that it was gonna kill me that night. I was freaking out. I was scarred outta my mind, I knew if I went and told my mom what I was experienceing back to the mental hospital. I hated those places all the drugs made me feel like a zombie half the time.
So for the first time in my life I cryed out to God, I cryed out to Jesus asking for help because I did not wanna die. A peace came over me I had never felt. I knew I would be ok, I immediatly put the board back in the closet. The next day I had such a craving to read the bible OMG I wanted to know God and I knew the bible had that information. Of course there was not a single bible to be found in the whole house. We was like 20 miles or so from town and I had no license or car. Well a few days later I told my mom what had happened and she immediatly made her boyfriend burn the thing with fire telling him under no reason would she stay in a house with a weegie board. We then went to town and she took me to a second hand store in town and I searched the store for a bible. I found an old NRSV bible tattered and torn and I broke down in tears and was so happy.
Went back to the ranch worked and read the bible at the dinner table and everywhere I went I could not put the bible down I read and read and read. Then one sunday I asked my mom if I could goto church and she gave me a ride and dropped me off at a Carpenter's non-denominational church. Was a female preacher/pastor and she was talking about the prodigal son. Then asked if anyone wanted to be saved I immediatly said yes and accepted Christ into my heart. Praise God!
When I first got saved was at a Carpentor's church non-denomational. After I accepted Christ into my heart. The Holy Spirit did not want me to return to that church. So according to the word of God the Holy Spirit bid me to become baptized. So I went all over Sydney Montana tryin to find a church to baptize me. None would. Not one single church would baptize me i called and went to all different churches for weeks. Then finally i went to a assembly of God the pastor told me that he was having a baptism on that weekend for other church members and that i could come on down and be baptized you bet.
Was huge for me my mom and her boyfriend drove all the way from the ranch 20+ miles to see me baptized. My mother had not stepped into a church for at least 6 years that I knew of. The pastor of that church was very careful with me as was the woman pastor at the carpentor's church who said the sinners prayer. Both told their congregation in my hearing to not influence me to try and persaude me in any way. And I took that to heart and have not let my faith nor hope be swayed but by the Holy Spirit, the scriptures, and that which I witness all around me.
Now I would like to tell you that it was easy street and a bed of roses after that but unfortuantly that would not be the truth. Well my 17 years has been one hell of a ride let me tell you The Spirit of the Lord has lead me to preach on the street corners of america, homeless and in my life I have forsaken all for the sake of the gospel. I have suffered much for Jesus. I was diagnosed with schrizaphrenia when I was 16. And have always been the odd man out since my illness manifested.
People would often fist-fight me, hit me, kick me, knock me down. Even before I was saved I could never bring myself to hit people back. I suppose some could say and often said that I was afraid. But those that would hit me would leave saying OMG your nuts cause I would stand up look them right in the eye and say that all you got hit me again. If that is the kinda person you are just kick me in the head.
My fear was not of them, but I have always feared God's judgement for my actions. I feared God would be angry at me if I inflicted pain on others.
So, anyway after I was saved I tried to the best of my abilty to forsake all for Christ preached on the street corners, in the highways, the bi-ways the lowest and forgotten places of america. At one time God even lead me to Salt Lake City, Utah to preach in the temple courtyard and the sidewalk around the temple which I walked 3 times by God's decree. This happened in 1998 or so I think. can't remember exact date. I did see people video tapeing me and have heard people say that I was placed on a watch-list because of this.
The Spirit of the Lord compelled me to goto Salt Lake City and preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. As I was walking through the state of Nevada from Las Vegas. I was walking because a Nevada highway patrol man had stopped me and told me no hitch-hiking in NV and he followed me walking for at least 3 miles before he left. A white pickup stopped and offered me a ride a man his woman and their 3 kids. So I happily took the ride because I trusted God and knew he wanted me in Salt Lake and believe it or not that is where they were going. This man was speeding down the highway going at least 100+mph. I was in the back of the truck with 2 of their children. I was praying begging God to protect us with His Holy angels because we were going so fast. The left front side, the driver's side front wheel blew and the guy pulled over.
He was truly amazed that we were all alive he said we should all be dead cuz he was going so fast, and the truck should of flipped over. His wife looked me dead in the eye and said who are you? I said I am Cameran. she asked why are you goin to Salt Lake City? I said because God has compelled me to go there and preach his gospel on the streets of Salt Lake. She said I heard you praying for God's angels to protect us from harm and He did. The man slowed down alot as we finally made it to Salt Lake City. They dropped me off and the lady told me God Bless.
I was going to start preaching on the street corner in salt lake but God compelled me not too. The Spirit compelled me to go into the Temple Court-yard downtown Salt Lake on temple street. Compelled me to go in and sat quietly on the ground in the temple and read the Book of Isaiah to myself quietly. As I was reading a woman very nice said you can't do that here you can't sit there on the ground. So i stood up to move and The Spirit of the Lord came upon most mightily and I was preaching. You strain at a gnat and you swallow a camel. You see this temple there is not one stone that God could not tear down. And some other things which I honestly can not remember. Two men dressed in black suits softly and respectively escorted me out of the temple. As we got to the gate on the outside of the gate there is a sidewalk that circles the entire temple outside the gate. I was gonna walk away I thought I was done but The Spirit of the Lord was upon me again and compelled me to walk the entire sidewalk three times preaching as I had in the temple. I was not only preaching I was belowing with a loud voice. Everyone was stareing at me police officers, people on the street, secruity guards, many were taking pictures and videos. (I have never been able to find any account of this in the paper or the internet.)
After the third pass I was walking away from the temple and a limo stopped and an 50]s or so man got out and asked: Who do you say you are? I said I am a believer. He asked who do you say I am? I replied as God compelled me I do not know why I said this, outside you are clean but inwardly you are full of deadman's bones. Then as the Spirit compelled me I walk off in a huff, stomping my feet. I preached on the street corners for a week in Salt Lake before I left.
For what that is worth about 11 years ago I meet a woman named Cher and we confessed our love for one another and married ourselves under God and made a vow to God that we would remain faithful to one another.
We were not married in a church were not married legally by any of man's ways. God blessed us with a little girl named Rachel. However at the time of her pregnancy her, her mother, and her church all wanted her to get an abortion. They all said we was nuts and were living in sin. Which very well maybe I have no idea. I do know I shaved my head and made a vow to God Almighty to remain faithful to her. So I honor that I do not fear man. I do fear God.
Well needless to say I tried to get custody because her sister was given my daughter the judge ruled that her sister would have custody because me and Cher both had a mental illness history. So I became so angry at the entire world, at God, at mankind, at myself and I truly just wanted to die. I was praying for God to take me home because if these are the rules if this is my life I can't take this crap anymore. No I was not sucidal I was not gonna kill myself by any means I fear God and now that is wrong.
Well whether you want to believe me or not I had a vision in my mind of an Angel of Lord God Almighty wielding a flaming sword. I didn't see him physically. I saw and heard him in my mind. He told me "Cameran you are forever loved, Cameran you are forever forgiven, Cameran you are forever redeemed, Cameran you are forever justified, Cameran you are forever saved." I felt the tears from this angel fall upon my eyes around the sides and below them. I felt them embed in my skin like an unseen tatoo. I can't explain this and I am not trying too.
So has been 10 years for me being seperated from my wife if you will I use the term losely. I have not laid with another woman and will not unless I become truly married under God and man. All I can do is warn you. Do not take your vows to Lord God Almighty hastely or lightly for He will bring everything rather secret or unsecret to judgement and you will have to give an account of yourself for all the things you know about and even those things you do not know about. Which I am sorry to say is alot more than the things you know about. Becareful when you entertain strangers for some have
entertained angels unware.
God Bless and thank you for letting me share a little of my life with you. I hope this has helped you understand that I can honestly say It is not I that live, but Christ that lives within me.
