Is this my calling?

I've went thru a lot as I'm sure we all have. I feel God is leading me to post some of my experiences and I would like honest feedback please. For example: I was put on adderall and it destroyed parts of my life! I thought everything was great! ( disclaimer: I think the drug is fine when used properly and if you take it and it works then great! I'm not a doctor and I'm only expressing what happened to me ) The first month: I felt great and life was great! Newfound energy, sexdrive, I was cool to my kids it was just great! Even if the occasional escort was needed it was awesome bc the sex was amazing. I'm 46 and I felt like a 18 year old! I could do anything! Even felt like God blessed me with it! By the 3rd month friends / family would hint around something's off. I would think they don't understand bc I'm add and this stuff makes me normal and they just never seen me normal. But it bother me bc maybe they was right? After all I've never been able to stay up and get things done like this before! Nah they just don't understand! By this time I'd almost drowned in the ocean bc my mind told me I could swim. ( I'm not a swimmer) I was wearing a go pro at the time and remember looking at in the ambulance thinking man I'm going to be rich! A real life drowning video!!! I couldn't see it as something I was doing wrong? the adderall told me everything's ok! After leaveing the Er I was proud and always thinking what others was thinking about me! About 2 more months went by and my nephew told me that's just like meth!!! Wow my eyes was beginnning to open!!! I asked my doctor and he said yes it's from the meth family. Shocked I commenced to stop taking them! Fast forward a year and I'm about back to me. You see it was my sister that told me I'm add and everyone knows it but me and hands me a adderall. I fell hook line and sinker! Went to my doc and bam I'm add and taking adderall as prescribed every day! I thought I was getting work done and I really tried but I'm the end I lost most everything just like someone using meth! But I'm justified right? So I thought until I started ignoring my kids, staying out late and sometimes coming home a day or 2 late. Well I have a 19 yr I thought surely he will be ok with them! Today I know they love me and I love them but I can never get back the time I lost with them. They was and still are my world but the adderall made me feel so good I would just think they will be ok! After all I'm trying to get a escort to marry me, move in with her kids so we could live happily ever after! I didn't see she wanted money I just seen a girl who had a hard time and needed me to save her even if I was paying for it was her job and I was going to get her out of it! If interested pls give feedback and I will share more thanks for reading

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

First of all, please use paragraphs. Few will bother to read your wall of text and paragraphs make it easier to read. Second, an "escort" is basically a prostitute. :/ So you're trying to marry a hooker? I suggest you get tested for STD's, since you've been sleeping with hookers. And get back OFF of the adderall. Oh, and God does NOT bless those who take drugs and sleep with hookers..

From your post I would say that detox is worth considering.

First off,troll alert. Secondly, its a run on sentence, couldnt even try to make paragraphs out of it.Sheesh.

I know..but you know me, I gotta always make a comment. lol

Jesus knows how to save without your help. Marrying an escort, you'll be getting an escort for a wife.. marriage does not mean she'll change.. The root of her problem and lack of God can do that, not a person..

You can be in prayer for sometime or days, it will help you in deciding what God wants, otherwise or feelings lead us to a wrong path.

Wow! Your remarkable petestool comments are so inspiring! Jump down long enough to see the trees! Later cc sounds like your judgement is worse than the one you claim to be God...

PeAce

What if I don't know how? God bless you!

Did you read it?I am and have been drug free... must be a judgmental type. Thanks for nothing! God bless you with your god

Never mind you people are smoking with your judgments. I'm so glad I've exposed you and esp lady blue! Go back and read and let me know when you find a positive? Something that's encourageing??? God bless you with your god and I hope he spares ya from your blazing hell!

Peace, Love
J

When did god save you? What from? Why and why would you think that? Was you baptized and sins washed away? What's your fantasy world called??

You must be from Aa? Go save them and don't chime in just to get a response. Pity

No one is judging you they are giving you their opinion/advice on your situation. Did you not want honesty?
You are being judgmental of us all and our God based on a few comments of a few people that scratch your pride. That is not being fair. Truth hurts and its on you if you accept what the people here say, or if you feel like your way is supposed to be a different way.
Indeed, God bless you by our God.

May God Bless you all with coals for your insensitive, blatant lies and how you managed me make me feel like your god could help. Look up cult and mediate

Look up 2nd degree bipolar disorder and meditate.
You go from one mood to another and attacking and ranting. If you dont want to accept what people say, just dont but coming into a Forum wanting lullabies is just crazy. Its about your safety. Wake up!

You didn't read anything. You went with the croud response and I'm not here to save you or anyone else I was trying to share my experience. I am very successful which by your measures I can be an asset now bc good is measured by success? Nope look at Job.... y'all lost an asset so maybe in your heaven you can look back in your mansion and think how another person looking for help was rejected by the ones god has called to.... so much of a big fat lie!

The truth is Wanting lulies is judging me. It's about my safety is a lie and wake up is another judgment. Who are you? Christ? God himself? What a big waste of my time!

What kind of statement is that? Are you judging me? You walked in her shoes and know what she needs? Wow your good you must have been thru a lot!

Please don't reply on my posts!