Hi Depressed_angel, It is very hard to give you comfort and I feel at a loss to do so. From my own experiences, when I suffered injury it came strongly to my heart that the injury was for my direction. At that time I did not understand but shortly afterwards I did. Now I have a far better understanding and this is deeply connected with my journey. One of His ways of keeping us safe and directing us to that place,( emotional, understanding, physical or otherwise) is through our health. Jesus steers us by earthly means. If he has to cut off a hand or pluck out an eye, he will,because it is better for us to gain the kingdom of God without the hand , eye, than not to gain the kingdom of God. Additionally, it is not always about us. What happens to us may be for the benefit of others.
Jesus came and he healed, but his healing was not meant to heal all the sickness in the world, but to demonstrate to us that he is God's Son. The healing Jesus does is not primarily because someone is sick, but as a witness that his name has all authority and that he is who he is. God has showed us repeatedly that His grace is for His chosen ones often at the expense of the other peoples. If you are one of His and you are if His word is a comfort to you and you recognise his word then your health is a part of your journey. That does not necessarily mean that you won't be healed, but if you are then your healing is to be for the Glory of Godl. Please accept your journey, giving thanks always and always desiring His path for your life. Jesus would have received thousands of angels if he had asked for them but he demonstrated the path by wanting His Father's will in all things. Jesus did not exercise his faith to its limits but only in accordance with his Father's will. Note, Jesus said the mountain could be moved if you had the faith but Jesus did not move the mountain simply because he could. Faith must be practised in accordance with God's will or otherwise you are blaspheming the Holy Spirit.
This may help. please try it. In your darkest moments or when in pain, instead of praying, worship Him in words and songs and in any manner you can.
walk inlove
edwin