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Mine father is born in Indonesia in 1938, and mine mother in Germany in 1942.
Mine grandpa, was working in that time for the Dutch government in Indonesia (Java). Indonesia was a Dutch colonies. So he works for the Dutch. He came from the Island group the Molukken, what a part is from Indonesia.
His youth was full of violence,.. at home. His father was a hard man. But the because he had a high position for the Dutch government in Indonesia was he taken in prison when there was a war . My grandpa is taken in prison for a view years, he was taken by the people of Indonesia. My father and his uncle's had to fight for his life. My father don't want to tell my about it. So, when he immigrate with the family to Holland, he met my mother.
It is important to know that my father was growing up, independently. And in my youth I hear a lot: You don't have to dependent of someone. And I have to tell you, my father was a believer in God, but he was trained in white magic too. When he came to Holland, he decide never use white magic for ever.
My mother is coming from Germany, mine grandpa was born in Germany, but he had always the Dutch nationality. But when they came after the WOII to Holland, they had a lot of problems, because for the Dutch, they where Germans.
I have one older sister, she is 1 year older than I am, and a brother, he is 6 years younger than I am.
I was born in the city of Groningen. But because my father had bloodgroup O pos (Asia form) and my mother O pos (Eur) didn't match it. It wasn't happen in the world before, so nobody knows that this two different O pos. gave problems. In the mean while I stayed in the hospital, my parents remove from Groningen to a city 180 km further. My father became a job there. So the first six months of my live, I had been raised by the nurse (and a lot of needles).
This was a problem for my mother, because when I was young, a little kid, I had big fears and, I don't want to hug by my mother. Not that I didn't love her.. But it kills my.
My parents do love my much, but I was their problem kid. I had fear for everything. And everything what I did in my youth, it was mistaken. (I thought)
My mother didn't know to handle me, and she beat me a lot. Not because she didn't love my, but I drive her crazy. My father was a tough man, and he had a quick temper. So, when he was mad, we get a fear to him. And he did sometimes things where he did sorry immediately.
In that time, I was the only brown man in the class, so I get discrimination a lot. So the feeling that I was mistaken became harder.
My father say always: You be born to the unhappy. ( I must say: he said this, because he saw that all what I did was a failure, so he didn't say it to harm me, I saw always than love in his eyes)
I remember we got a book and it called Meneertje Verkeerd. (Mister Wrong) And everything what that little fellow did it went wrong. So I identify my self with that person of the book.
But what I didn't know, it was a curse. The speaking word became really a curs for my.
When I was 15 years old, my live changed. I get sporting.. and I was good at sport. I went to boxing and, it give my self confidence. So, I when I get angry,.. I want to fight. And when I will fight, I could kill somebody.. and I know what I was doing. God bless it never be happen. I made a decision, and that was: I will never be hurt. And when they hurt me.. well the person was as dead for me. And believe me.. he was as dead. I can't describe the feeling I had. I build a big wall. A wall that was: Nobody has to know me... for who I am. And I need nobody..
But inside, I was the same person. The person, who thought I was born for failure. So, when I grow older, I went to be a soldier. I had the first time thought I was accept.. but inside I was soo lonely.
I was good looking, so I didn't complain about the girls. But that wasn't what I was looking for. I believe always in God. But I didn't have a relation with Him. I saw God, as the One, what say: This is your fault. I will punish you because you didn't keeping my law. (I don't know the Bible than)
And Jesus was for me a person out of a book.
At that time I was 24 years old. I broke all things what I love for. I make a lot of debt. And I was self-destruction. With a knife I cut in my arms. I did that because the physical pain, I can resist. And when I cut myself, I forget the pain in my. That pain was so strong!
And than became Jesus. I had a friend he takes my to a Pentecostal church.. And there I met Jesus. The preaching was going about, Maria, who has to learn that Jesus wasn't her Son, but her Lord.
And than.. In my mind, there was a sort of net curtain that was taken of me. I believe therefore: God didn't love me. I am born for failures. But at that moment.. My whole live went around in my mind He let my see,that He was there in the hospital, he has protect my for so many things. And I saw I was born for happyness. The Lord, care about me. He wants me. Just who I am.
I never felt so happy before. I was so glad that I met Jesus. That He accept me who I am, that He forgave my sins. And that I could gave my pain and sorrow to Him.
And God changed me. He gives my an new hart, a new mind. And the walls, that I had build.. They are away. The Lord teached me that I need people, and people need my. My hate is gone.
So.. the testimony is a bit shorter, because, I don't know to bring my feeling over on the paper, in English..
I hope that you know more about the person who is sitting on this site of the pc. If you have any questions.. you can always ask my.!!
God Bless you!!
Mine grandpa, was working in that time for the Dutch government in Indonesia (Java). Indonesia was a Dutch colonies. So he works for the Dutch. He came from the Island group the Molukken, what a part is from Indonesia.
His youth was full of violence,.. at home. His father was a hard man. But the because he had a high position for the Dutch government in Indonesia was he taken in prison when there was a war . My grandpa is taken in prison for a view years, he was taken by the people of Indonesia. My father and his uncle's had to fight for his life. My father don't want to tell my about it. So, when he immigrate with the family to Holland, he met my mother.
It is important to know that my father was growing up, independently. And in my youth I hear a lot: You don't have to dependent of someone. And I have to tell you, my father was a believer in God, but he was trained in white magic too. When he came to Holland, he decide never use white magic for ever.
My mother is coming from Germany, mine grandpa was born in Germany, but he had always the Dutch nationality. But when they came after the WOII to Holland, they had a lot of problems, because for the Dutch, they where Germans.
I have one older sister, she is 1 year older than I am, and a brother, he is 6 years younger than I am.
I was born in the city of Groningen. But because my father had bloodgroup O pos (Asia form) and my mother O pos (Eur) didn't match it. It wasn't happen in the world before, so nobody knows that this two different O pos. gave problems. In the mean while I stayed in the hospital, my parents remove from Groningen to a city 180 km further. My father became a job there. So the first six months of my live, I had been raised by the nurse (and a lot of needles).
This was a problem for my mother, because when I was young, a little kid, I had big fears and, I don't want to hug by my mother. Not that I didn't love her.. But it kills my.
My parents do love my much, but I was their problem kid. I had fear for everything. And everything what I did in my youth, it was mistaken. (I thought)
My mother didn't know to handle me, and she beat me a lot. Not because she didn't love my, but I drive her crazy. My father was a tough man, and he had a quick temper. So, when he was mad, we get a fear to him. And he did sometimes things where he did sorry immediately.
In that time, I was the only brown man in the class, so I get discrimination a lot. So the feeling that I was mistaken became harder.
My father say always: You be born to the unhappy. ( I must say: he said this, because he saw that all what I did was a failure, so he didn't say it to harm me, I saw always than love in his eyes)
I remember we got a book and it called Meneertje Verkeerd. (Mister Wrong) And everything what that little fellow did it went wrong. So I identify my self with that person of the book.
But what I didn't know, it was a curse. The speaking word became really a curs for my.
When I was 15 years old, my live changed. I get sporting.. and I was good at sport. I went to boxing and, it give my self confidence. So, I when I get angry,.. I want to fight. And when I will fight, I could kill somebody.. and I know what I was doing. God bless it never be happen. I made a decision, and that was: I will never be hurt. And when they hurt me.. well the person was as dead for me. And believe me.. he was as dead. I can't describe the feeling I had. I build a big wall. A wall that was: Nobody has to know me... for who I am. And I need nobody..
But inside, I was the same person. The person, who thought I was born for failure. So, when I grow older, I went to be a soldier. I had the first time thought I was accept.. but inside I was soo lonely.
I was good looking, so I didn't complain about the girls. But that wasn't what I was looking for. I believe always in God. But I didn't have a relation with Him. I saw God, as the One, what say: This is your fault. I will punish you because you didn't keeping my law. (I don't know the Bible than)
And Jesus was for me a person out of a book.
At that time I was 24 years old. I broke all things what I love for. I make a lot of debt. And I was self-destruction. With a knife I cut in my arms. I did that because the physical pain, I can resist. And when I cut myself, I forget the pain in my. That pain was so strong!
And than became Jesus. I had a friend he takes my to a Pentecostal church.. And there I met Jesus. The preaching was going about, Maria, who has to learn that Jesus wasn't her Son, but her Lord.
And than.. In my mind, there was a sort of net curtain that was taken of me. I believe therefore: God didn't love me. I am born for failures. But at that moment.. My whole live went around in my mind He let my see,that He was there in the hospital, he has protect my for so many things. And I saw I was born for happyness. The Lord, care about me. He wants me. Just who I am.
I never felt so happy before. I was so glad that I met Jesus. That He accept me who I am, that He forgave my sins. And that I could gave my pain and sorrow to Him.
And God changed me. He gives my an new hart, a new mind. And the walls, that I had build.. They are away. The Lord teached me that I need people, and people need my. My hate is gone.
So.. the testimony is a bit shorter, because, I don't know to bring my feeling over on the paper, in English..
I hope that you know more about the person who is sitting on this site of the pc. If you have any questions.. you can always ask my.!!
God Bless you!!
