A
Some of you already know me, though I haven't posted my testimony yet. I feel now is a good time to do so as 'something was pulling me here most all day today.
My life from the start has been a challenge. I was born at barely 6 months gestation, 1lb 9oz and 12in long. The doctors didn't think I would survive the night. I'm 21 now
I was born to atheists, my father was then (sadly still is) and during my entire life, a verbally/physically/mentally abusive alcoholic. I clearly remember 2 times (though there are many others) he abused not only me but my brother aswell. Once after my baby brother passed away(he was 5 months..i was 4 years old) my dad took me into the hall and whipped me, I know now he was just getting his emotions out--in all the wrong ways. I also remember after my sister died (she was 2, I was 9, my younger brother was 3) my father took a gun and tried to kill himself (my sister was his favorite..I assume he resented us then) when my brother interupted this he beat him. I recall banging on my dads back and him throwing me against the back of the couch it was hard and painful my brother and I sat crying as he stumbled off in a drunken mess.
Where was my mom in all of this? In a shocked daze never standing up for us, always enabling my dads bad behavior I know now just to passify him so he wouldn't also abuse her, which never worked. He almost broke her arm once. Gave her a black eye she had to spend 2 nights in the hospital to recover from. During this time we were very nomadic, never staying in one place too long. I found out about Jesus while we lived in Bedrock City in the GrandCanyon. We stayed in a old school bus here, I remember meeting the owner of the tourist site there. She must have seen bruises or something but one day she asked if I knew who Jesus was, I said no and my world began to change...so much brighter... so amazing. I didn't learn much from her just that he was alive to set me free, how he healed the blind and the sick. She taught me what a church was and how people filled these places to glorify him. When I asked my parents about it they said she was lying and soon after we moved... I began to cling to the story she told me of a savior, of a healing man. I wondered though if he would be able to save me after experiencing sexual abuse when I was 10-13 at the hands of a friend of my father--they were both into meth-- i tried to use that as an excuse for the longest time while stuggling with self harm and suicidal tendancies trying to control the only things I could (food and pain tolorance I used starvation and cutting as an escape)even though in my heart i knew it was wrong. It wasn't til I was 14 when I met my (now ex-husband) then boyfriend, shawn that i began to trust again. He was/still is, a Christian. He invited me to church and my relationship with Jesus began. I would read the bible with him, his parents invited me in and we would go on forever in Matthew, John and Luke. They helped me test my faith through Revelation. They advised me to tell my parents what my dads friend did to me. I was surprised shawn would still want me, right I mean how could anyone want such a tainted heart. But, he did and even after we got married and the really hard stuff came up I still held on to God but after infertility and then a miscarriage, shawn lost hope while I still held on. Jesus is my husband now and I hope that we live happily ever after Now I live my life for Christ working on becoming a Therapist for teens/young adults and families in crisis
My life from the start has been a challenge. I was born at barely 6 months gestation, 1lb 9oz and 12in long. The doctors didn't think I would survive the night. I'm 21 now
I was born to atheists, my father was then (sadly still is) and during my entire life, a verbally/physically/mentally abusive alcoholic. I clearly remember 2 times (though there are many others) he abused not only me but my brother aswell. Once after my baby brother passed away(he was 5 months..i was 4 years old) my dad took me into the hall and whipped me, I know now he was just getting his emotions out--in all the wrong ways. I also remember after my sister died (she was 2, I was 9, my younger brother was 3) my father took a gun and tried to kill himself (my sister was his favorite..I assume he resented us then) when my brother interupted this he beat him. I recall banging on my dads back and him throwing me against the back of the couch it was hard and painful my brother and I sat crying as he stumbled off in a drunken mess.
Where was my mom in all of this? In a shocked daze never standing up for us, always enabling my dads bad behavior I know now just to passify him so he wouldn't also abuse her, which never worked. He almost broke her arm once. Gave her a black eye she had to spend 2 nights in the hospital to recover from. During this time we were very nomadic, never staying in one place too long. I found out about Jesus while we lived in Bedrock City in the GrandCanyon. We stayed in a old school bus here, I remember meeting the owner of the tourist site there. She must have seen bruises or something but one day she asked if I knew who Jesus was, I said no and my world began to change...so much brighter... so amazing. I didn't learn much from her just that he was alive to set me free, how he healed the blind and the sick. She taught me what a church was and how people filled these places to glorify him. When I asked my parents about it they said she was lying and soon after we moved... I began to cling to the story she told me of a savior, of a healing man. I wondered though if he would be able to save me after experiencing sexual abuse when I was 10-13 at the hands of a friend of my father--they were both into meth-- i tried to use that as an excuse for the longest time while stuggling with self harm and suicidal tendancies trying to control the only things I could (food and pain tolorance I used starvation and cutting as an escape)even though in my heart i knew it was wrong. It wasn't til I was 14 when I met my (now ex-husband) then boyfriend, shawn that i began to trust again. He was/still is, a Christian. He invited me to church and my relationship with Jesus began. I would read the bible with him, his parents invited me in and we would go on forever in Matthew, John and Luke. They helped me test my faith through Revelation. They advised me to tell my parents what my dads friend did to me. I was surprised shawn would still want me, right I mean how could anyone want such a tainted heart. But, he did and even after we got married and the really hard stuff came up I still held on to God but after infertility and then a miscarriage, shawn lost hope while I still held on. Jesus is my husband now and I hope that we live happily ever after
Now I live my life for Christ working on becoming a Therapist for teens/young adults and families in crisis 
