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This is less of a silly post, and something really important to me. I don't want to come across as whiny and needy, but I'm really at a loss of what to do.
The past few weeks, I moved home from university overseas. It was so tough, and I was battling anxiety and depression, period problems and just job issues. I cried out to God but I felt like he was so far away. I tried to lean on him, but I felt like he was impossible to reach. Then.. I started reading the bible, things clicked and one by one these issues, by God's grace, were settled. I kept submitting everything, even my relationship.
However, this is the thing that sucks. My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me. Yesterday. He said he didn't love me anymore. He said he didn't believe in God anymore. He said he couldnt take it anymore. I tried sharing the things in my life that changed, but it didnt seem to be an encouragement to him, it seemed to wave past him.
To provide some background, this is what its been like... I can blame my anxiety and depression, and all the problems I've had, but I did treat him rather terribly, to the tenth degree. Taking responsibility is not enough to make up for it. Things have been difficult for years, we fight a lot, and we threaten to break up, but always end up back. However, this time its different, this time, he wants to cut ties, he doesnt want to talk he doesnt even want to see me, because face to face makes it hard for him to break up with me. The past few weeks, I've been trying to improve the way I am, the way I've been. Its really hard, but I've improved a little. Somewhere along the way, I slip back and I say things that has an undertone of spite.
I want to leave and submit it to God, but I also want to fight for this relationship because I know he is the person I want to be with. He even moved over to my country. Its only been two months. I cannot believe our relationship ended the way it did, and in the manner it has been. I've been advised to maintain contact, I've been advised to leave him be for a while. Yet, I'm afraid maintaining would annoy him, and leaving him be would allow distance to form. I love him. I don't deserve him, but I want to become the person that does.
I can't function but I've been functioning. I really just am not sure what to do.
The past few weeks, I moved home from university overseas. It was so tough, and I was battling anxiety and depression, period problems and just job issues. I cried out to God but I felt like he was so far away. I tried to lean on him, but I felt like he was impossible to reach. Then.. I started reading the bible, things clicked and one by one these issues, by God's grace, were settled. I kept submitting everything, even my relationship.
However, this is the thing that sucks. My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me. Yesterday. He said he didn't love me anymore. He said he didn't believe in God anymore. He said he couldnt take it anymore. I tried sharing the things in my life that changed, but it didnt seem to be an encouragement to him, it seemed to wave past him.
To provide some background, this is what its been like... I can blame my anxiety and depression, and all the problems I've had, but I did treat him rather terribly, to the tenth degree. Taking responsibility is not enough to make up for it. Things have been difficult for years, we fight a lot, and we threaten to break up, but always end up back. However, this time its different, this time, he wants to cut ties, he doesnt want to talk he doesnt even want to see me, because face to face makes it hard for him to break up with me. The past few weeks, I've been trying to improve the way I am, the way I've been. Its really hard, but I've improved a little. Somewhere along the way, I slip back and I say things that has an undertone of spite.
I want to leave and submit it to God, but I also want to fight for this relationship because I know he is the person I want to be with. He even moved over to my country. Its only been two months. I cannot believe our relationship ended the way it did, and in the manner it has been. I've been advised to maintain contact, I've been advised to leave him be for a while. Yet, I'm afraid maintaining would annoy him, and leaving him be would allow distance to form. I love him. I don't deserve him, but I want to become the person that does.
I can't function but I've been functioning. I really just am not sure what to do.