I've been married for a lil over a year. My husband has been out of work for 3 years now. He is computer illiterate so i have to put in all his job applications or they dont get done. He spends his time listening to music and watching tv. Every once in awile hell attempt to do an application but he'll ask me every 5 mins to do something so i end up doing it. When he was younger he put out a record which you cant find any where. But now he's on this kick that at almost 40 he's going to be a big time rapper. ^I cant support him and it causes big arguments because i wont support his dream. I mean im the only one bring in money and money is extra tight. I cook, clean i do everything. I tell him he can do it as a hobby but he still neeeds a real job. I mean your entitled to your dream but we have to live in reality. I feel like the time he sppends writing raps and listening to music he should be looking for a job. I mean 30 mins looking for a job and 5 hours doing music stuff doesnt add up. Am I wrong for not supporting his dream?
I feel for you.
It does seem as though he isn't quote ready to accept the idea that maybe he just won't ever become what he wants to become. But the thing is, with a loyal and obviously committed wife like you, he can find the excitement and the hope and the love and respect and admiration he needs from you, and your marriage.
I know that musical and expressive and creative people are some of the most affectionate, witty, smart and caring people in the world, I'm one myself and I have so much to give, but giving up our dreams can be really depressing; we aspire to change the world in a way.
What your husband doesn't realise is that he can do that with you. He can be loved and appreciated and he can be creative in other ways with you.
He needs to realise the value that marriage holds, the status that being a great husband can give him. Ask him to spend one day away from both job applications and frmo rapping and you two focus on getting to know each other all over again.
You've shown him patience, now show him you, and your needs. Try to goad him to focus on YOU rather than on his rap-career. For creative people, it means the world just to be listened to for our art, and I've found that I can turn that expressive craving towards someone rather than towards my writing.
compliment him often and let him know your needs, express to him. It will appeal to his nature.
I really hope he realizes just how much he has the whole world already and he doesn't need the dream as much as he needs you.