I've been familiar with abuse in all forms for my entire life. I am a fighter and have never let the abuse take hold of my future. On that note, however, I ended up in yet another abusive relationship. How? Why? I knew the signs from day one but I let myself get wrapped in it. He said all of the right things, he was patient and understanding, good to my kids, helped me anytime day or night.. But when we were out in public he would stare at other women. Lies began to unfold about things he'd kept from me. Then there's that first time he grabbed ahold of me and slammed me down as I cried out in terror. And the next time. And then the time he drove angry and scared me so bad that I had a 20 minute panic attack. Or when I found pages and pages of other women and searches on dating sites. But, "I would never hurt you baby." and "I will love you forever" flowed from his lips like silk. How did I get sucked into this? Why did I stay? How do I find a good godly man that is patient and kind, full of love and understanding. Someone who very openly will communicate and never sneak and lie or crazy make. I have to find him. I cannot have a life where it's nothing but abuse! I'm too strong to accept that. My kids need to see real love.
People unconsciously put out signals. Body language, speech, etc... all of this indicates to other people what kind of person you are. This is why abusive men always find women prone to accept abuse. Because the thinking and lack of belief in themselves shows.
Also being too easily swayed or compliant. Usually there are little "tests" for a man like that to gauge your reaction. If you ignore his wrong behavior, let it slide, make excuses then you confirm what he read about you.
If a man makes no effort to hide his staring at other women while with you, then get up and leave. And don't go on another date with them again.
But, really, the biggest reason is you allow it. You said yourself you could see wrong behaviors yet you made a choice to stay. This suggest a that no matter what you say about how strong you are your own actions and choices show that it is not truly how you feel about yourself.
Chances are until you work through your internal issues you will continue to attract the same types of men, and continue in poor relationships.
Most often women that continue this came from abuse as a child, whether verbal, emotional or physical. So you continue in what a comfortable. You're familiar with abuse and familiar is comfortable. Get to the root issues YOU have rather than focusing on other peoples behavior.
As the saying goes "we teach people how to treat us".