Can someone give some insight on what this may mean?

[JonC]

I'm not 100% sure if this is in the right section, but it deals with two topics really, but I'm going to throw it in here:

Anyway, a bit of backstory, this past year and so forth, I have fallen off the path. I wanted to believe, but couldn't find myself doing so anymore. I lost my faith and so forth. I started to think about partaking in things I shouldn't (Craigslist anyone?). Luckily, I never brought myself to do it, but it crossed my mind all the time. All, while these things were going on, I felt truly conflicted because I was a believer.

Anyway, fast forward to this August when the new semester starts:

Those of you who have been in school know how first days are, "hi hello, etc, etc". Little did I know what one of my classmates would do to me.

I eventually found out she believed in God and went to church and so forth and since she's around my age I found that I needed to talk to someone about what I was experiencing. I will say, I was attracted to the girl, like her, etc, but not many people knew how I felt and I felt she may not judge me. Anyway, we began to talk and I eventually got the courage to open up my Bible once again. I was so scared to do so! I started to cry! No joke! But it felt great to open it back up again, albeit a bit daunting.

Fast forward a bit more and she invited us to a halloween party she was hosting for the high schoolers who go to her church. I went, we chatted, etc, had a great time. We talked some more and she said she had a NIV bible she could lend me(i have a KJV). This past Friday she had a dentist appointment not too far from our college and I said I could meet up, hang out, etc. Because I'm a goofball I dozed off after she got ahold of me and said she was done and she went home. Trying to salvage the situation since she did semi-come this way for me(she doesn't live that close) I offered to go to her place. She agrees and I go and I'm there from about...1:30pm to about 2AM. Nothing happened, we just chatted about various things and just hung out. I had a great time and it seemed as if time didn't exist(lol).

This morning came. I guess because I like the girl she's one of the first things I think of when I wake. This morning was the same thing of course, but then I started to think about how God perhaps sent her my way to get me back on the path. I obviously don't know if we are meant to be together, but she was sent my way for a reason I believe that. I also started to realize how since I started to allow Him back into my heart some things started to fall back into place! After a mere few days! I felt as if I wanted to cry! Then it hit me, I think I realized I was in love with her. I started to cry about her and about how God is forgiving and all the things that fell back into place. I realized that I also would give up everything for her if need be, and then I thought, "Is this what love feels like?" I also realized I would give up things for God if he wanted me too also.

The crying spell didn't last too long. But seeing that I like her, I obviously want to talk to her! We all know how that is. We text a bit, etc. Anyway, for some reason I felt like, I was about to flip out or something. I don't want to seem all pushy and so forth, but I started to cry again! In the midst of my crying fit, I thought God could help me and I grabbed a book that the girl lent me and still in my crying spell, tried to trudge through it. But couldn't hardly do so. Anyway, I noticed a bookmark sticking out and I grabbed it and looked at it and it read, "Don't be anxious about anything" which is from Philippians 4:6. That is exactly how I was feeling and I started to sob more.

Could anyone give some bit of insight what all of this may mean? I'm supposed to go to church with her tomorrow and am excited and nervous about it at the same time. I'm afraid that I may be coming off as pushy(as far as she's concerned) and stuff. Perhaps, I'm looking too much into it.

Any form of advice will be appreciated. Sorry about the TLDR post, and thanks in advance.

 

[JonC]

I don't feel like they're tears of sorrow but maybe tears of joy? I really don't know. This is all new to me. So new.

 

[Liamson]

Maybe God brought this person in your life, Not as leverage to change you into becoming worthy of her but to remind you of the Kind of man that ought to be.

There is a man you could be. A man worthy of a woman like her. But it takes you cutting away all off you that isn't this man.




Christianity is the same way. There is a God, who wants the best for you. To actually partake of that Best and most excellent fruit, you have to cut out all of the garbage in your life. You can't do it alone, He will help you but its going to be deeper than you think you can endure.


If you are doing it for her, when she is gone, there is nothing that will stop you from going back to it.

If you are doing it for yourself, you have to stay committed and focused. This takes accountability and Character.

Pray that God would help you become the man, He knows you are capable of being.


God Bless you.

 

[crmvet]

Proverbs 3:5-6

 

[JonC]

Thanks for the replies.

I was talking to a friend of mine and she suggested I perhaps go to a different church from her so I can put God first and make sure I"m not just going for the girl. So there's a church near my house she suggested and I'm going to do that instead. I want to see the girl but again, if its God's will, then so be it.

 

[Donkeyfish07]

Maybe God brought this person in your life, Not as leverage to change you into becoming worthy of her but to remind you of the Kind of man that ought to be.

God Bless you.

I suggest you read that again OP. That's a pretty profound statement actually.

 

[Jullianna]

I'm so glad God brought this woman into your life to seemingly remind you of what you'd left behind. I'm glad too that you've realized that what you must do must be for Him alone, not to grow closer to the lady.

If God wants her in your life permanently, take it easy, enjoy one another's company and trust Him to handle it. Most women won't go out of their way like that if they are not interested.

When we seek His kingdom and His righteousness FIRST, amazing blessings can be found along the way.

 

[JonC]

Thanks for the replies. I am taking them all into consideration.

So I went to church today and it was awesome. I felt like I could have cried a couple times. There were also four baptisms which was awesome too.

Cooler still, is that the girl I mentioned said she was glad I'm going to put God first. I was afraid she'd be upset if I didn't go with her but she wasn't. So that's cool.

I also told her today that whatever happens between her and i , I was glad that God sent her my way.

I have never felt this way about anything. I have this weird feeling in my chest that won't go away. I almost feel like I'm a new person. Is this what happens when you truly accept Christ into your heart?

Can anyone relate to that? Or understand how I feel?

 

[RickShafer]

First, don't mix feelings with faith.
God never uses an attraction for the opposite sex as the gospel.
She is a woman, she is not Jesus.
Sort your feelings out, and then proceed.

 

[JonC]

I know, that is what I'm trying to do

 

[RickShafer]

The thing is,....the reawakening of your faith seems to hinge so heavily on her.
- (I could be wrong)
Listen, the sexual urge is strong, we've all had it - ("Oh God, thank You for sending her/him")
Feeling and faith are two entirely different aspects of the soul.
- But you already know that.

God bless you, in your report of the happenings to your soul and consciousness you wrote succinctly and thoroughly well. (I'm not judging you)

 

[JonC]

You are right. That's why I'm trying to put him first and so forth. Believe me, the feelings were already there, and that's what I'm worried about.

 

[RickShafer]

If you know the difference between the physical attraction and the calling of God on your life, I see no need to worry.
As long as you know the difference - (that she is a fellow sheep, and not a high priest); I see no reason not to pursue her as a potential soul mate.
But I am not there, you are, you know.
Don't worry about it.
If it is His will-(you and her being lifelong soul mates), then it will be done.
If she was a light to lead you back to the cross, His will is done anyways.
Either way, don't worry bout it. His will is always done regarding believers. (Especially believers)