Note: I clicked "family", but it's okay if his relatives are jerks; we can ignore them.
I didn't see the write-in option, so here it is: My cousin is about to be married this Spring. We are only a few months apart in age, and I would like to beat her to the punch, so I'll need someone who isn't too picky, as he won't have long to court me. I won't be too choosy either, but I do have one request. He must have an enormous nose. The gentleman to whom my cousin is engaged has a large nose, and I'm very jealous; I think he's so handsome. I'm afraid it may be a lost cause to find someone on such short notice, but we've always been rather competitive with each other, and I figured it's worth a shot. So my write-in option is this: A very large schnoz.
Okay, that's a joke. Please don't send me any weird PMs, guys.