Hi,
Earlier this year my partner decided to end our relationship. She suffers from severe depression and often came to the "conclusion" that she was not good enough for me.
Today would be our anniversary. The sadness I have felt throughout the year has sunken to a new low. I feel almost completely broken. My faith in God has been the only thing keeping me alive for so long and that faith has been tested so much.
Our relationship lasted for 10 very good years.
When she decided to end the relationship I tried everything to change her mind. We are both Christians and we both believed God had sent us to be with each other but in her mind God was now changing His mind (?) or He only intended us to be a couple for the time we were together and now He has other plans. For the first time our beliefs did not match.
I do not believe God changes His mind. That suggests He made a mistake which is not possible.
I do not believe God deals in temporary relationships.
After some time I found out many things which I was not aware of earlier. My partner had started dealing with psychics, seeking help for the mental suffering that regular doctors were unable to treat. She had forgotten that receiving love (from me) was the best treatments she ever had and for 10 years had been a life saver (literally) for her.
I later found out the psychics were feeding her mind with all sorts of rubbish and I believe sowed the seeds of what would become a nightmare I never could have imagined possible.
Honesty was at the core of our relationship. Neither of us ever questioned or doubted it. The subject of cheating was something we might discuss like you discuss characters in a movie. It just wasn't possible for either of us.
In early October she confronted me with something unbelievable. She had been having visions, vivid hallucinations, for over 4 days in a row. These visions involved ME with another woman who she could see, feel and even smell. She was absolutely convinced these visions were real.
At first I assumed this was caused by her mental illness and I am still somewhat of this opinion. But I also understand what the Bible says about psychics and I am very sure visions of this nature can only come from Satan.
Since we parted company it has been obvious to anybody who knows her how much she loves (loved) me. She has constantly fought the desire to be together again at every turn. She insisted on minimal contact because as she says she needs to stay strong and focus on getting well and she needs to do that on her own. The less contact we had, the worse she got.
She has also avoided at all costs any face-to-face contact. She said she knows if she sees me she won't be able to stay strong and I will only change her mind. That just dumbfounds me. It seems as though deep inside she knows the truth but she won't allow it to be revealed because these lies she now believes are the only way to "stay strong".
Her demand that I cease all contact with her was based on her belief that I have "moved on intimately" and she wants to enjoy the same freedom and find love again like I have (apparently). If only she knew how the opposite were true.
Every night I pray for forgiveness for all the times I was not good enough for her. I am human and I made many mistakes. I also pray for God to lead me where He wants me to go. The feeling I get is that He sent us to be together and He still wants us to be together. Our love was blessed by Him.
The problem I have is I am no longer certain. I keep asking myself am I believing what I want to believe or has God sent me a very clear message in all this pain that I really should move on and forget about her. Forget about the woman I still feel as though I would give my life for. The love has not faded even one bit.
I find it almost impossible to believe God would deal in anything that involves so much pain. We have both suffered tremendously. In my mind this is clearly the work of Satan.
Two more days until Christmas. The timing couldn't be worse. I have no idea how I will handle waking up Christmas Day in an empty house without her voice wishing me Merry Christmas. This will be the loneliest Christmas ever.
Thanks for reading. God bless.
Earlier this year my partner decided to end our relationship. She suffers from severe depression and often came to the "conclusion" that she was not good enough for me.
Today would be our anniversary. The sadness I have felt throughout the year has sunken to a new low. I feel almost completely broken. My faith in God has been the only thing keeping me alive for so long and that faith has been tested so much.
Our relationship lasted for 10 very good years.
When she decided to end the relationship I tried everything to change her mind. We are both Christians and we both believed God had sent us to be with each other but in her mind God was now changing His mind (?) or He only intended us to be a couple for the time we were together and now He has other plans. For the first time our beliefs did not match.
I do not believe God changes His mind. That suggests He made a mistake which is not possible.
I do not believe God deals in temporary relationships.
After some time I found out many things which I was not aware of earlier. My partner had started dealing with psychics, seeking help for the mental suffering that regular doctors were unable to treat. She had forgotten that receiving love (from me) was the best treatments she ever had and for 10 years had been a life saver (literally) for her.
I later found out the psychics were feeding her mind with all sorts of rubbish and I believe sowed the seeds of what would become a nightmare I never could have imagined possible.
Honesty was at the core of our relationship. Neither of us ever questioned or doubted it. The subject of cheating was something we might discuss like you discuss characters in a movie. It just wasn't possible for either of us.
In early October she confronted me with something unbelievable. She had been having visions, vivid hallucinations, for over 4 days in a row. These visions involved ME with another woman who she could see, feel and even smell. She was absolutely convinced these visions were real.
At first I assumed this was caused by her mental illness and I am still somewhat of this opinion. But I also understand what the Bible says about psychics and I am very sure visions of this nature can only come from Satan.
Since we parted company it has been obvious to anybody who knows her how much she loves (loved) me. She has constantly fought the desire to be together again at every turn. She insisted on minimal contact because as she says she needs to stay strong and focus on getting well and she needs to do that on her own. The less contact we had, the worse she got.
She has also avoided at all costs any face-to-face contact. She said she knows if she sees me she won't be able to stay strong and I will only change her mind. That just dumbfounds me. It seems as though deep inside she knows the truth but she won't allow it to be revealed because these lies she now believes are the only way to "stay strong".
Her demand that I cease all contact with her was based on her belief that I have "moved on intimately" and she wants to enjoy the same freedom and find love again like I have (apparently). If only she knew how the opposite were true.
Every night I pray for forgiveness for all the times I was not good enough for her. I am human and I made many mistakes. I also pray for God to lead me where He wants me to go. The feeling I get is that He sent us to be together and He still wants us to be together. Our love was blessed by Him.
The problem I have is I am no longer certain. I keep asking myself am I believing what I want to believe or has God sent me a very clear message in all this pain that I really should move on and forget about her. Forget about the woman I still feel as though I would give my life for. The love has not faded even one bit.
I find it almost impossible to believe God would deal in anything that involves so much pain. We have both suffered tremendously. In my mind this is clearly the work of Satan.
Two more days until Christmas. The timing couldn't be worse. I have no idea how I will handle waking up Christmas Day in an empty house without her voice wishing me Merry Christmas. This will be the loneliest Christmas ever.
Thanks for reading. God bless.