I was reading an article earlier today about how many of those committing suicide do it by jumping off a given bridge (incidents not connected). Some of them survived, and they all said the same thing: On the way down, I realized I wanted to live ! No matter how messed up their lives had been, their realized change was possible.
Why would God want you around? If He can be bothered to keep me alive I can't see why He wouldn't want the rest of the world.
God loves you, even if you feel you're worth nothing. As a matter of fact, although God does not want you to be depressed, the fact that you feel you are wasting away in your sins make you more righteous to God than a person who says "I don't sin".
10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ 13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Furthermore: In spite of what you have or have not done, God can use you. He IS using you, here, in this forum.
I know that the "God has a plan for you" argument is of little or no help when one feels so far down, but the wonderful thing is that God is the same, even when we change. He will not leave you. Ever.
Praying