L
I have grown up in a dysfunctional family and now I am married and 48 years old. My mother has always controlled the family. So when someone is fighting in the family she plays one against the other. She talks behind all her children's back. Since I have became a Christian I have slowly noticed how this sick behavior bothers me. My mother has hurt me on so many levels. From a young child loosing my dad at age 4 yrs old, my mother ignored me and went to bars, had men over night and got drunk. When we get in a fight about something hurtful she has done to me and I confront her with my hurt feelings she will justify and ignore the real problem. Then she will not call me and I end up giving in every time. This last argument we got into was that I found out she told my siblings about something that was very private and I asked her not to repeat. I was so mad and yelled at my brother. My family upsets me so much. My husband had to finally step in and explained to them all in an email that he would not tolerate this behavior any longer. It so much to explain it is hard to put it all on this email. My mother is going to be 80 years old this year. If she dies I will feel guilty that I didn't patch things up. On the other hand I have always done this and our relationship goes back to the same sick behavior/talking behind the family's back. Gossiping! I am living for Christ and can't be around this behavior. I think God has kept me strong and really doesn't want me to contact her. I believe he is working on the problem but I want to make sure I am hearing him right. What if the devil is giving me the mixed emotions and thoughts? My husband left the email to them telling them that they need to quit judging me and change the behavior. I have not heard from anyone in my family in since last June. Most days I think about it I am so sad that my own mother wants nothing to do with me. Keep in mind I did nothing to her. (I just confronted her about why she told my sibling something that I wanted keep a secret/between her and me) What do I do? So confused. I want to put Christ first and if that means giving my family up I am willing to do this. I feel like he allowed this to happen so I could grow in him better without all the sick behavior. Does anyone agree with me? Thoughts?
Lisa C
Lisa C