Finding strength to Go to church with my unfaithful husband....

[WV]

Wednesday, I found out my husband had a onetime affair a year ago. I am devastated but find myself wanting to stay and keep my family together. My husband has been deployed for the past year. The one time affair happened right before he deployed last January. I don't hate him and I know I can forgive him, because God forgives us. Today I must go to church and sit by him. I don't know if I can even do this. I am crying at I type this. I need to go to church today, I need strength in my Lord Jesus, but I feel with him there with me I feel it would be too hard. My sister knows about this, but my parents do not and sitting with them all in church I just don't know.

I feel hurt, embarrassed, anger, and love for a man who broke our vows. We have been able to talk about it. He knows he was wrong. He says he love me and our family. He admits to his sin and stopped the affair as soon as he slept with the women. He is very remorseful and wants to keep our family together. He said he realized this as soon as he left her the night it happened. I am so confused. Today I know we need to be in church together, God wants us there. I need strength to be there with him and just don’t know if I can.

 

[Ariel82]

just pray and listen to God's words it might help.

 

[Faithhope]

Praying for God to give you strength. I am going thru something similiar but he has chosen her. Its so tough.

 

[Lucy68]

Praying for you today...it is an awful thing to have happen and I commend you for wanting to forgive your husband and repair your marriage. It will hard the first time you go to church with him but it will get easier to go out in public with him the more you do it. Don't put it off, you'll just dread it more. Your husband is probably nervous too; especially encountering people that know about his affair. Praying for strength and courage for you both...remember you are a child of God, worthy of love and respect. Going to church together is good .

 

[Tommy4Christ]

Wednesday, I found out my husband had a onetime affair a year ago. I am devastated but find myself wanting to stay and keep my family together. My husband has been deployed for the past year. The one time affair happened right before he deployed last January. I don't hate him and I know I can forgive him, because God forgives us. Today I must go to church and sit by him. I don't know if I can even do this. I am crying at I type this. I need to go to church today, I need strength in my Lord Jesus, but I feel with him there with me I feel it would be too hard. My sister knows about this, but my parents do not and sitting with them all in church I just don't know.

I feel hurt, embarrassed, anger, and love for a man who broke our vows. We have been able to talk about it. He knows he was wrong. He says he love me and our family. He admits to his sin and stopped the affair as soon as he slept with the women. He is very remorseful and wants to keep our family together. He said he realized this as soon as he left her the night it happened. I am so confused. Today I know we need to be in church together, God wants us there. I need strength to be there with him and just don’t know if I can.

I pray the Lord give you strength, but this is the sad condition of most professing Christians today, because the apostate church teaches you can sin(commit adultery) and still be saved, I sure hope and pray your husband has come to real repentance and brokeness and faith before God and you, a simple I am sorry is sorrow of the world, and not a clearing from the heart.

I dont know your husbands heart, and I pray he is sincere, and knows what he did to you is an abomination to God, but you said he seems he repented of this sin and was sorry, but again most churches teach a form of sorrow, which is the sorrow of the world and not real godly sorrow.

But you must forgive him, and be a strong light to your family, by walking the walk, standing against the darkness and also draw near to God, and He will give you all you need to get through this.

But if your husband truly repented, and its real and from his heart, and he has come to a real saving faith, not the fake salvation being sold today, but a real sorrow and brokeness, now ready to serve God, and not his flesh, then you are both on the right path, as God grants mercy to the truly humble and repentant heart!

Jas 4:8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners; and purify your hearts, double-minded ones.
Jas 4:9 Be afflicted, and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to heaviness.
Jas 4:10 Be humbled before the Lord, and He will lift you up.

 

[WV]

I made it through early service, however I made us sit in the balcony. This morning was so hard. I cried. We left out the back. I am trying and I know God hears my thoughts and prayers. Thank you all for your responses.

 

[Mayco]

You can commit adultery and still be saved?
I dont think anyone believes that.
You can be saved after adultery after repentance.
You are saved by the blood of Christ.
Any sin separates us from God.
Unless you have a direct microphone to God, you really won't know if he has "Godly sorrow" or "wordly sorrow."
That is a lot of damage that was done.
It is a lot to ask to simply forgive him because he says he is sorry.
There is a lot of mending and trust-building again.
It isn't going to come in a year after a year of good deeds.
There is no answer I can give.
I am not the one to judge her whatever her choice is.
He made the mistake and it is up to him to prove to you his repentance.

 

[my_adonai_]

the flesh is weak, but the spirit is willing, Gods strength will push you through.

 

[Ugly]

You can commit adultery and still be saved?
I dont think anyone believes that.

I believe it, and probably everyone i know believes it. Didn't Peter sin when he denied Christ three times? Or when he lashed out in anger and violence by cutting off the ear of one of the men sent to arrest Jesus? Did Jesus say 'oh, well, i was wrong about Peter, he's not saved'? Nope, he healed the mans ear, and went on to say that Peter was the rock the church was built on.
If we don't sin after salvation then why does Paul write 'i do what i do not want to do and the things i want to do, i do not do'? Did God say 'oh well, look at Paul, doing things he knows he shouldn't, guess he's not a Christian'? Nope, he had Paul write large portions of the New Testament.

 

[tjogs]

I believe it, and probably everyone i know believes it. Didn't Peter sin when he denied Christ three times? Or when he lashed out in anger and violence by cutting off the ear of one of the men sent to arrest Jesus? Did Jesus say 'oh, well, i was wrong about Peter, he's not saved'? Nope, he healed the mans ear, and went on to say that Peter was the rock the church was built on.
If we don't sin after salvation then why does Paul write 'i do what i do not want to do and the things i want to do, i do not do'? Did God say 'oh well, look at Paul, doing things he knows he shouldn't, guess he's not a Christian'? Nope, he had Paul write large portions of the New Testament.

The key element is that we know that we do wrong, we have shame because of it and we would agree without a second thought that we would be happier without it, and still we fell and did it and then came to our senses and asked forgiveness.

 

[danschance]

Wednesday, I found out my husband had a onetime affair a year ago. I am devastated but find myself wanting to stay and keep my family together. My husband has been deployed for the past year. The one time affair happened right before he deployed last January. I don't hate him and I know I can forgive him, because God forgives us. Today I must go to church and sit by him. I don't know if I can even do this. I am crying at I type this. I need to go to church today, I need strength in my Lord Jesus, but I feel with him there with me I feel it would be too hard. My sister knows about this, but my parents do not and sitting with them all in church I just don't know.

I feel hurt, embarrassed, anger, and love for a man who broke our vows. We have been able to talk about it. He knows he was wrong. He says he love me and our family. He admits to his sin and stopped the affair as soon as he slept with the women. He is very remorseful and wants to keep our family together. He said he realized this as soon as he left her the night it happened. I am so confused. Today I know we need to be in church together, God wants us there. I need strength to be there with him and just don’t know if I can.

It is very normal to feel hurt, angry and other feelings when a spouse has been unfaithful. I have been thru it and am still going thru it. As long as you have built your marriage with the 3 fold cord (God, your husband and yourself) there is hope. We are required by God to forgive others and forgiveness is the first step toward healing. It is normal to feel anger and even rage at times, but over time it will get better. Don't allow satan to destroy your marriage.

I am sure it will be difficult to go to church and sit next to him. Hang in there, it will get better over time. Pray about it and even seek out people to talk to. Maybe christian counseling would help?

 

[J-Kay]

WV: God bless you! You are at least showing you are human and
your pain is real. I am thinking from the husbands point of view.
There is a spirit called Jezebel. ( Jezebel can be female or male )
Let me explain, she the lady, was tempting your husband. I believe
any man will tell you, provided he is heterosexual, temptation thrown
at him can often be difficult to resist. We don't know how long she
has been tempting him. The sin is, she wore him down, perhaps. I
am NOT defending what he did. I hope you can see this sounds to
me like he was tempted and he is regretting what he did.
Now my prayer for you ... God give you the strength to stand up for
what is yours. He is YOUR husband. You alone know how sincere he
is. I also suggest it not be wise to let others in Church know what he
did if it was a one time thing. It will only make you feel bitter if others
know what he did.
I pray you will have a new love for him and it is my prayer he is sincere.
You can be the one to hold on to him. God bless you and know many are
praying for your marriage. I am going to give you a link to read re: an
unfaithful wife... Hosea and Gomer ... a teaching from book of Hosea.

Undying Love— The Story of Hosea and Gomer | Bible.org - Worlds Largest Bible Study Site

 

[yac11]

Wednesday, I found out my husband had a onetime affair a year ago. I am devastated but find myself wanting to stay and keep my family together. My husband has been deployed for the past year. The one time affair happened right before he deployed last January. I don't hate him and I know I can forgive him, because God forgives us. Today I must go to church and sit by him. I don't know if I can even do this. I am crying at I type this. I need to go to church today, I need strength in my Lord Jesus, but I feel with him there with me I feel it would be too hard. My sister knows about this, but my parents do not and sitting with them all in church I just don't know.

I feel hurt, embarrassed, anger, and love for a man who broke our vows. We have been able to talk about it. He knows he was wrong. He says he love me and our family. He admits to his sin and stopped the affair as soon as he slept with the women. He is very remorseful and wants to keep our family together. He said he realized this as soon as he left her the night it happened. I am so confused. Today I know we need to be in church together, God wants us there. I need strength to be there with him and just don’t know if I can.

Please demand from your husband that you attend counseling together! With him gone as much as he is......you need counseling. Be selective in who you choose. Not all Christian counselors are the same. Do not let your husband tell you he is too busy for help. Remember Christ wants us to forgive but.....he doesn't want you to be a door mat and you must put all your focus into this. Also from experience, I believe accountability is best as I now have learned. You could ask around but I believe if he is a true man, he should go with you and tell your parents. It was his mistake and he should own up to it and look them in the eyes. I believe this for the health of your marriage and your family.

God Bless you.

 

[Ephraim]

Wednesday, I found out my husband had a onetime affair a year ago. I am devastated but find myself wanting to stay and keep my family together. My husband has been deployed for the past year. The one time affair happened right before he deployed last January. I don't hate him and I know I can forgive him, because God forgives us. Today I must go to church and sit by him. I don't know if I can even do this. I am crying at I type this. I need to go to church today, I need strength in my Lord Jesus, but I feel with him there with me I feel it would be too hard. My sister knows about this, but my parents do not and sitting with them all in church I just don't know.

I feel hurt, embarrassed, anger, and love for a man who broke our vows. We have been able to talk about it. He knows he was wrong. He says he love me and our family. He admits to his sin and stopped the affair as soon as he slept with the women. He is very remorseful and wants to keep our family together. He said he realized this as soon as he left her the night it happened. I am so confused. Today I know we need to be in church together, God wants us there. I need strength to be there with him and just don’t know if I can.

God isn't immune to your troubles, nor is he adamant that you should have to be in a church when you're having a problem with your marriage. Perhaps it's a day to take off and go somewhere quiet with your husband in the sunshine to explore some of these feelings together, away from everything else.

 

[yac11]

Please demand from your husband that you attend counseling together! With him gone as much as he is......you need counseling. Be selective in who you choose. Not all Christian counselors are the same. Do not let your husband tell you he is too busy for help. Remember Christ wants us to forgive but.....he doesn't want you to be a door mat and you must put all your focus into this. Also from experience, I believe accountability is best as I now have learned. You could ask around but I believe if he is a true man, he should go with you and tell your parents. It was his mistake and he should own up to it and look them in the eyes. I believe this for the health of your marriage and your family.

God Bless you.

Gosh, I was thinking further about your post and then reflected on my comment and feel I have to explain my opinion as to why a grown man should have to tell anyone, let alone his in-laws about the affair.

Without boring you about my life experiences I wanted to share with you my thoughts.

I believe that you're pretty close with your parents. They have the right to know what is up. You will not be able to hide this hurt. Besides counseling you might want to talk to your mom, but she will probably tell your dad anyway. I would refrain from telling friends. I think you should tell your parents them after you select a counselor. That way when you go together to let them know that your marriage vows were broken, you can at the same time assure them you both want to repair the marriage. If he is not there to tell them, they will assume he is not holding himself responsible and that he is failing his family. If you want to have a happy life here on in I believe these are the steps necessary to save your marriage and his reputation towards everyone.

May God Bless you.

 

[Catera]

Just be aware that healing and forgiving can take time. Don't expect it to be an instant process just because you're christian.
Either way, you choose to forgive, let our Lord put it in your heart.
I'll be praying for you.