I apologize.
There are virtually infinite influences around each person, pulling him/her into a certain path, a trajectory of the life/self. In microsociology, it was stated that people are defined by their social contexts. I didn't choose to believe in God; I just can't believe anything else (and I think that's a good thing). I view humans as marionettes with their strings tangled; when the wind blows, everyone pulls on one another in involuntary directions.
I seem to think that neurochemicals cause people to do what they do. Sociopaths have no consciences because (maybe) their brains are just like that. Neurochemicals just make decisions. Catatonic schizophrenics don't choose to be the way they are, and neither do I. I cannot speak for sane people, however, because the only time my life is without disorder is when I take my pills and boost my mood with physical training. There's a whole dopaminergic society fluctuating in my brain. Ultimately, willpower and motivation to "decide" things roots from the very chemistry of the brain (the internal influences) and the outside influences.
The only Christian kids I knew bullied me throughout my childhood and early high school. My dissociation with the Christian community has linearly increased at a slow rate starting from an early age. This might be why I'm such a nihilist about the world (which is good, because one should not love worldly things). However, I see no meaning or purpose to my actions, because I feel no responsibility for making decisions. When I'm bad, I hate my existence, and when I'm good, I give myself no credit. When I help people, my marionette strings had simply been moved or flicked to a certain frequency that causes the physical resonance of what I see to be fate. I only see strings and chemicals. I see Newton's Third Law in everything, in every string.