K
OK so heres my problem... im married and have been married for 3 yrs now. been together for 5. he asked me to marry him after being together for 2 months.anyways. in the beginning everything was pretty okay.. he had just gotten custody of his son when we got together, i was okay with that. i am very attached to his son now, he IS my son basically. because he knows no different. And my husband is a functioning alchoholic i guess? he drinks beer like its what keeps him alive. he says it makes him calmer and think straight..but i just see it as a big problem.. he has a verrryyy bad temper. not hitting people. but he doesnt like to be told he is wrong, or really doesnt like to be TOLD anyything.. i cant even have any kind of conversation with him without him getting even a little angry at me. he has thrown things, punchedd walls. all that dramatic stuff. ive been seeing a lot of selfishness in him lately. he puts his needs before his kids and mine. he has had a tough family life, his dad is really controlling and back and forth on what he says.. my husband is a lot like his father. and it scares me. i dont want to spend the rest of my life waiting for my husband to change or better himself. because He honestly thinks he does not need ot change. he calls me names, stupid and many more i wouldnt dare tell anyone. he says ugly things to his kids too. BUT its like is he really just wanting to hurt us or is it the only way he knows how to deal with stress? he will not go to church with me, many times he has blamed me going to church for my stupidity or whatever.He is a good person, he can be. or he was. but he is so stressed out and confused and he just never got to grow up. and i am completely sick of living each day of my life like this, leaving is all i think about everyday. i talk myself into it, out of it. over and over. I know I cant fix him, and im trying to continue to live a godly life. but his anger and stress just seeps into me. and my brain is all jumbled. and i feel guilty and selfish for wanting to leave when i think of my kids. (we have a daughter together). I Want better for me and my kids though!...i dont know i just need input. i ask God daily for help..and i just dont know what he wants of me.