Amen , to all that was said, I touch in agreement with all the prayers....
I pray the Lord will give you peace and rest in your mind.... to restore your hope and joy, I remember like it was yesterday, when I was about to do the same.... you must not allow the enemy to tell you every reason it would be good for you to just check out.... telling you how no one would care and no one can love you or would understand you. my sister, please listen.... THE DEVIL IS LYING TO YOU!! God said that our days are few and full of trouble but He will deliver us out of them all... The Lord knows what you can bare and what you cannot... so he will allow tribulations... but only because he loves you, he want you to be very strong. So look at it like this, if God allowed it, it's because he knows you and he loves you and is wanting to use you.... So go to the Father in the Name of Jesus and ask him what it is he is trying to teach you? Ask him to give you his strength and will that you may stand in his power and love.... never reject what the Lord is doing because it is the Lord God who orders our steps and nothing in your life will take him by surprise.... so humble your self and go to the Lord and ask him what it is he have need for you to do....... I am fighting with you because I know those foul spirits all to well... the number one is death... no longer shall your mind be tormented with these thoughts of leaving.....
I told my mom the other day, how I wanted to go home and be with the Lord, and I can't count the many times I cried to the Father to allow me to come home to him... my mom said I was very selfish, because there are so many people who need me, she said she need me and she cried and said that is very selfish of me..... and the Lord opened my eyes and I saw my heart and yes, it was ugly and I cried and asked God to forgive me and my mom.... As long as the Lord want to keep me here I am more than willing to stay.... so I have to take him at his Word: He will provide and He will glorify himself in me and through me.... may the Lord open your eyes sister... we all need each other, and if you do not know this... YOU HAVE A FAMILY IN THE LORD, THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY.... FOR ALL ETERNITY.....WE LOVE YOU BUT THE LORD LOVES YOU MORE...MAY HE INCREASE YOUR FAITH IN HIM AND BLESS YOU WITH JOY, PEACE AND HOPE... and remember that anything that is not of faith is sin... suicide is not having faith in God, for it must be according to his will and his Word which is the same as his will.....