HELP PLEASE!!!

[BlueAngel]

I've known this guy for years and years now, and we've never been more than friends until this year. We're both Christian, and we want to be married as soon as we're able. But we've had a few problems, that have made my parents dislike our relationship, and distrust us.
He asked my parents about dating me, and things were going a little faster than my parents wanted them to. So they started putting restrictions on us; and we started getting a little rebellious. The more restrictions, the more rebellion is basically how it was.
Anyway. We'd hold hands without permission, and we'd lie about a lot of stuff. Eventually I snuck out with him one night, and we ended up kissing.
We've been separated so that we can see each other, and talk to each other, but we can't tell each other how we feel.
We understand that it was our choices that led us here. But it's hurting both of us terribly. And I hate to see him hurting like he does. I don't care so much about my happiness, as I do about his.
I need help because I'm struggling with doing the right thing. When all I want to do is curl up in his arms and cry on his shoulder. I love him and miss him so much, and I want so badly to actually TALK to him again.
My parents are trying to help me, but they just don't seem to understand me. As much as they say they do. I want to believe they can help me, but they just seem too critical when I try to talk to them. (Every time I tell them I love him, they roll their eyes or do something else that makes me feel like crawling back into my shell)
My parents want me to be able to talk to them, but I feel like their constantly attacking me and my feelings.
I really need friends and prayers right now, for him and me.
And if you've got advice, I could really use it.
(sorry for the length of this post)

 

[wing2x]

hello
so you're sixteen,..
I will tell you that you have a lot to time to think. Okay I want you to differentiate the two which is the Infatuation and Love.
You know my dear you must enjoy your life. So you're in love to a guy? And you want to be married?

If the love you feel is true and if the love of that guy to you is true also, then it l cannot be broken,even divided by miles and times.

I will give you a quote so pls apply it to yourself okay"? I want you to understand . ok.



INFATUATION or LOVE.........

(Articles come from "I Love You" book.)

Authored by Gordon Martinborough

*INFATUATION is ruled by feelings, but LOVE'S feelings are ruled by principle (a standard of moral or ethical decision-making).

*INFATUATION is blind, but LOVE sees and examine.

*INFATUATION is in hurry, but LOVE takes time.

*INFATUATION is obsessed with externals, but LOVE is concerned with internals.

*INFATUATION is childish, but LOVE is mature.

You have a lot of time to think. Dont hurry. Because true love never fails, and it can wait, because that is the true concept of love. Just like the love of the God to us it never fails. Even though we fail but He never fails.


I know that you love the boy so much , and because it's true love therefore it can wait at the right time.

Dont forget yourself to be love by you okay"?

 

[BlueAngel]

"I know that you love the boy so much , and because it's true love therefore it can wait at the right time."

Yes, I do LOVE him. And I'm not afraid of losing him. He's already promised me that I'll never lose him.
I'm not afraid of time and the spaces between us, because our hearts cannot be separated, no mater how far away my parents separate us.
What I'm upset about, is that because of our choices, he's hurting. And I can't be there for him.
He doesn't trust anyone enough to talk to them about this except for me. And I can't help him because I'm not allowed to.

But thank you, for you're advice. I appreciate it.

 

[mexicansaint]

ill keep you in my prayers. i know as long as we keep our faith in jesus christ anything is possible. God Bless,keep it up with the word

 

[BlueAngel]

ill keep you in my prayers. i know as long as we keep our faith in jesus christ anything is possible. God Bless,keep it up with the word

Thank you for your prayers... I can't tell you how much this means to me... THANK YOU!!

 

[Ugly]

You really need to examine your heart. This 'love' you're claiming has caused you to defy your parents, and as a result, disobey God as well. So the entire foundation of your 'relationship' with this boy is in defiance, selfishness and disobedience.
As well, this boy seems excessive reliant on you.
I'm not sure what exactly is really going on with how your parents are handling you, but as a kid, the one thing you're failing to realize, just like every other kid your age, is that you're young, you're going to change a lot over the next 10 years and how rare it is for someone your age to end up actually marrying the person they're 'in love' with, and even more rare that these marriages ever last. But teens always think that their relationship is 'different'.
This relationship is causing you to put a higher importance on a boy than on following your parents rules (sneaking out, etc) and obeying God. This is not what 'love' should be causing. Your boyfriend is at worst encouraging this defiant behavior, and at the very least, not trying to prevent you from doing wrong. You need to stop and think about what you're doing and what your priorities really are, because from my point of view i see no good at all in this.

 

[BlueAngel]

One thing that I need people to realize with this post, is that this happened in June... since then, we've been trying and encouraging each other to do better.
Both of us want our relationship to last, so we are, for each other, ourselves, and God, doing better.
...
I'm struggling though, because this is hurting us to be suppressed like this....
And I already realize, that we're facing the consequences of our choices.
All I'm saying is, it's hard to watch him suffer, when I can't help.
-----
@ugly: I know what you said about teen relationships is very true... I have an ex-boyfriend, who I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life... and I was even making plans... I read back what I wrote about him in my jurnal, after we broke up... I laughed at myself... (*'.'*)

 

[BrittanyJones]

I have so been there and I so know how you are feeling! My first love was when I was 17, and it was soo powerful in my life. I know the feelings are sooo strong that you can't see past it and it will be hard for a while, but I want to encourage you with a few promises from God:

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11

Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Matthew 6

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6

This verse is my FAV for times of major heart ache, one day I repeated it over and over again when I hurt so bad I felt I couldn't move.

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!
The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge
Psalm 46

God is so strong and sooo powerful, and you will be amazed at what He does for your life if you ask Him!

Bless!

 

[tjogs]

You said " it's hard to watch him suffer, when I can't help" I know this too very well.though
What you told about him: "He doesn't trust anyone enough to talk to them about this except for me." sounds really troublesome. It's ok if he don't have lot of people he trust enough to talk to, but would it be possible that you perhaps would help him to find or get even one trustworthy enough that he, or both of you could talk? I suppose your parets are afraid you are going too fast too far and if you would have person who can talk with you and who your parents would trust also I guess that would improve your situation.

 

[BlueAngel]

He doesn't trust anyone because he just moved to Wyoming from Utah, He doesn't know hardly any one but me.... and the people he does know here, are definitely not trustworthy enough.
I have a best friend that I can talk to about stuff, but not everything.... She helps both of us when she can. But that's not often....

 

[Tobby17]

Well i don't believe that at 16 you know how to *LOVE* well...

 

[JesusIsReal]

Now that you are in Love, you should Examine it, what Love is...Google what the Bible says about Love and compare it with your Love, if you see that you have that Same kind of Love for him, then be Joyfull, but understand that Self Control, Knoweldge, Understanding, Power, Wisdom and others is needed to Nurish and Uphold that Love.

Now if you are in Love as the Bible Declares then you should gain Wisdom, Understanding and others including Self Control. You have a Mind, a Mind Directs your Paths, if you are able to Disicpline your Mind with Wisdom and Understanding, learn Self Control...you will see and learn that mixed with Love is a very very Beautiful thing, but Love alone, without Self Control or Wisdom and Understanding might lead you into foolish actions.

Also, Fornication it is to this Day a Sin, being active in this area outside of Marriege is not Pleasing to God, at all. Although you might Practice it and for you it seems that Jesus Christ is ok with you and you have no Conviction of the Holy Spirit, then you must consider that Jesus Christ is against it, but will not leave or forsake you, but is Loyal.

The Book is full of Guidance and there are Many Resources that can help, but seeing that you already showed that Restrictions from your Parents caused you to Rebel against them, it is possible that even today you are rebeling against the Restrictions Jesus Christ already has given you, or would give you if you would seek advice about your Matter.

Jesus Christ at the moment just wants to make sure that you dont cause more trouble or trouble come your way as already be done, by your own Actions or the Actions of your Partner. But its not to late, Study...study Love, Study Self Control, Understand why Wisdom is good and what Jesus Christ would have you to do.

 

[BlueAngel]

One thing that I need people to realize with this post, is that this happened in June... since then, we've been trying and encouraging each other to do better.
Both of us want our relationship to last, so we are, for each other, ourselves, and God, doing better.

I just felt the need to put this in here again.
We are respecting my parents, and doing things as best we can. Things are getting better now, thanks to your guys' help, and the help of my family, friends, and God.
Thank you for your prayers, and advice.
-------
@Tobby: I know what love is. being 16 doesn't mean anything.
Just because I learned at an earlier age than normal, doesn't mean it's unbelievable.
It's not how old you are, but how you are old.
Does your comment mean that at 17, you know what love is?