Honesty or encouragement?

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Tintin

Guest
#41
#41
Please leave, Breno alone. I don't believe he did anything wrong with his thread. And he wasn't dissuading encouragement. Also, like he said, he expected people to take him to town for what he said, not to identify with and share their own struggles. Again, that sort of honesty can provide encouragement. It's so easy to think we're alone in the boat. We're not.
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#42
#42
pottersclay said:
To tell you the truth of how I deal with life sometimes. When I've prayed to the point of exhaustion, when I get so overwhelmed about everything and everybody it feels like your so helpless.
I picture myself sitting on God's lap with my head buried deep in his chest, my hands gripping tightly on his robe and I listen for his heart beat. I'm 56 years old and have done this many times. It brings me comfort and peace when all else fails. Sometimes the Lord calls us to
" be still and know that Iam" .
If any of you find difficulties in your walk with jesus, or this life tries to k.o. you in the first round don't give up, don't back down, but take a rest, pour yourself out and wait to be filled.
Listen for the heart beat.....selah.
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A bit frightening how close we are to doing the same thing. Never listened for the heartbeat, but I've climbed into his lap.

Mostly I see feet ahead of me, so I grab onto his leg to catch my breath -- always feeling like he's taking me too fast to keep up. Next thing I know I'm on Dad's feet dancing with him directing my feet.
 
O

oldthennew

Guest
#43
#43
Tintin said:
Nah, brother. I don't believe people are talking about your thread. At least I'm not.
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aw shucks,

there goes Tin again, always making us want to give him a big-hug!!!
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#44
#44
Tintin said:
Please leave, Breno alone. I don't believe he did anything wrong with his thread. And he wasn't dissuading encouragement. Also, like he said, he expected people to take him to town for what he said, not to identify with and share their own struggles. Again, that sort of honesty can provide encouragement. It's so easy to think we're alone in the boat. We're not.
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I didn't say he did anything wrong. I said what I saw and what I felt. I also didn't see the same thing about what he said about people taking him to task. In that case, I felt like he was flinching -- fearful some would. I wouldn't. I wanted to encourage, but it didn't feel like there was room for that. Maybe not what he meant, but how I saw it.

I saw nothing wrong with what he said. I truly got what he said. The thing that bothered me was that I conceived it meant to shut up -- don't encourage. I'd like this site to be more open and encouraging. I fear it's too much "look at me, ain't I wonderful," when the truth is we're mostly Breno on that day.

And on the other side is people who think if someone doesn't agree with them 100% something is wrong with that person. If we can't gain encouragement from our bros then who are we? How are we any different from the world? God has called us to support one another. The answer to that call is neither "shut up" nor "agree with me 100% or you're nothing."

People, on a rare occasional, call out for support. Like Breno, too often we wait for retaliation. I like support. I don't like retaliation or commiseration. I've stepped back from this site because of the amount of retaliation. I've also stepped back from the amount of commiseration.

I'm asking for the alternative -- the real alternative -- God and truly doing what he wants us to do for one another without the fear of the hammer dropping.

My head is sore from that hammer dropping.

We're called to be different! I see too little difference.

The only thing I felt wrong about with Breno, (and it's how I felt, which can be different from what he meant. And God bless him for getting what he needed despite how I took it :D) was I thought I wasn't supposed to encourage, and I really wanted to.

Going back to "trend," it wasn't just Breno either, but at least I saw the other post slip into encouraging quickly.

There are sections of this site where we can be real, and sections where it's not safe. The two sections where it's not safe are BDF and Family. (The former for retaliation, the latter for commiseration and retaliation.) What does that say about us?
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#45
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#45
Referring to Lynn's post, if we are TOO real on here, we are called and chastised for it. We are told we need to have thicker skin, to toughen up, and "if ya can't take the heat, get outta the kitchen." Some take the latter to mean that they're not welcome here at all. I've seen MANY newbies, and even some regulars, say that more than once. Believe it or not, we ARE VERY censored here in what we can and cannot say. :/

If we correct someone's behavior, then we are deemed to be hypocritical bullies. What is bullyish about reproving someone's mistakes? :confused: Aren't we SUPPOSED TO correct one another? Problem is, too many here, see the reprovement as harassment or judging.

There are many cliques here. Specifically in the BDF and Singles forums. It shouldn't be that way, but it is, and they have a pack mentality. There's about 10 or so, specific users that I know of, who think THEY run these forums, and can get rid of anyone they choose. I know this for a fact, because they've done it to me. :/ Myself and others have been told numerous times that we're not welcome in these two specific forums. Honestly, who put the singles in charge of the singles forum, and the prove-a-pointers in charge of the BDF??? I thought ROBO owned these forums. Apparently not, at least in the minds of some of the singles and BDF'ers.. :/
 
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breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#46
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
765
113
39
Australia
#46
atwhatcost said:
I didn't say he did anything wrong. I said what I saw and what I felt. I also didn't see the same thing about what he said about people taking him to task. In that case, I felt like he was flinching -- fearful some would. I wouldn't. I wanted to encourage, but it didn't feel like there was room for that. Maybe not what he meant, but how I saw it.

I saw nothing wrong with what he said. I truly got what he said. The thing that bothered me was that I conceived it meant to shut up -- don't encourage. I'd like this site to be more open and encouraging. I fear it's too much "look at me, ain't I wonderful," when the truth is we're mostly Breno on that day.

And on the other side is people who think if someone doesn't agree with them 100% something is wrong with that person. If we can't gain encouragement from our bros then who are we? How are we any different from the world? God has called us to support one another. The answer to that call is neither "shut up" nor "agree with me 100% or you're nothing."

People, on a rare occasional, call out for support. Like Breno, too often we wait for retaliation. I like support. I don't like retaliation or commiseration. I've stepped back from this site because of the amount of retaliation. I've also stepped back from the amount of commiseration.

I'm asking for the alternative -- the real alternative -- God and truly doing what he wants us to do for one another without the fear of the hammer dropping.

My head is sore from that hammer dropping.

We're called to be different! I see too little difference.

The only thing I felt wrong about with Breno, (and it's how I felt, which can be different from what he meant. And God bless him for getting what he needed despite how I took it :D) was I thought I wasn't supposed to encourage, and I really wanted to.

Going back to "trend," it wasn't just Breno either, but at least I saw the other post slip into encouraging quickly.

There are sections of this site where we can be real, and sections where it's not safe. The two sections where it's not safe are BDF and Family. (The former for retaliation, the latter for commiseration and retaliation.) What does that say about us?
Click to expand...
At first, I didn't know what this thread was about (I'm slow sometimes) but I think I do now, emphasize think. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't say anything, it wasn't my intention. As you said yourself, what I meant and what you felt could have been different. I love encouragement. I love to encourage others so much so, I think its a gift? Romans 12:8. But I, for the life of me, haven't worked out how to encourage myself lol doesn't make sense to me but its the way things are at the moment. Lol. What I meant by kick box to the head was, an example. Years ago my family had a strong go at me about being a christian, I came home to a mate dejected. He in a gentle but firm manner, with his English accent said, "Why the heck are you sad? You were persecuted for His name sake, be glad." At first it was like, he didn't give me a hug and says its okay, then I realized what had happened and the heavy sadness left and I was joyful lol. What I look for these days and want to learn to give out more is encouragement in truth. I feel the inadequacy of Moses in this, like in a lot of things but I have to push through it and trust. I don't want to pander to a persons, self pity, even on myself which is hard not to do. But also to weep with those who weep at the same time. What that looks like I have no idea? So I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't say anything, hopefully next time you do anyway :) lol
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#47
#47
breno785au said:
At first, I didn't know what this thread was about (I'm slow sometimes) but I think I do now, emphasize think. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't say anything, it wasn't my intention. As you said yourself, what I meant and what you felt could have been different. I love encouragement. I love to encourage others so much so, I think its a gift? Romans 12:8. But I, for the life of me, haven't worked out how to encourage myself lol doesn't make sense to me but its the way things are at the moment. Lol. What I meant by kick box to the head was, an example. Years ago my family had a strong go at me about being a christian, I came home to a mate dejected. He in a gentle but firm manner, with his English accent said, "Why the heck are you sad? You were persecuted for His name sake, be glad." At first it was like, he didn't give me a hug and says its okay, then I realized what had happened and the heavy sadness left and I was joyful lol. What I look for these days and want to learn to give out more is encouragement in truth. I feel the inadequacy of Moses in this, like in a lot of things but I have to push through it and trust. I don't want to pander to a persons, self pity, even on myself which is hard not to do. But also to weep with those who weep at the same time. What that looks like I have no idea? So I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't say anything, hopefully next time you do anyway :) lol
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Yup -- totally missed what you really meant. Sorry 'bout that. Next time I'll know better. :)
 
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