As some of you know, I recently went through a break-up. It was weird...I was being emotionally abused and I wasn't even aware of it till the end. Now I know it was right and that God wanted this. I trust Him.
But it still hurts. I still think about the good times (when he was kind and loving.) I was wondering, do you all have any tips or ideas about moving on? I have made some small victories in avoiding him and letting go, but I'm not exactly healed...if that makes sense. I didn't do anything sexual with him, but I'm emotionally hurt. We planned on getting married.
As some of you know, I've been single since January.
I'm finally moved on, living my life, getting healthy, getting back into the dating scene
But, before, it was kind of rough. At times, I lashed out at people because I was hurting. Other times, I was glad the relationship had ended because I was so distracted and felt like I had to give my all to that one person and I felt like my other things were being neglected. The things I once enjoyed I never did because I felt like a leech was sucking out all my energy. The relationship definitely took out a lot of energy of me. I was exhausted and burnt out.
So I didn't know why it was so hard on me when it ended. I cared for the person, I loved the person, but there was another part of me that felt like all my energy was out of me and in a way, I had to change myself in the relationship and I hated the person I was in that relationship.
But, it was and I got over it.
And I realized I'm happier than I was.
And I'm thankful for that.
There are some steps that you can take to move forward.
1)
Cry when you feel like it - There is nothing wrong with crying. If you feel like it's because you are weak, think again. You are mourning. It's necessary to get it out. There were times when it would just hit me in the most random places.
2)
Be angry but in a constructive way. Instead of bashing things, channel your anger into other things. For me, I did a lot of hand lettering. (Hand lettering is a type of art through writing. You draw words instead of just writing them! Check them out on my CC profile! I have an album!)
3)
Talk, talk, talk. Don't talk about your feelings with everyone, but with your close friends. Honestly, my a bunch of my friends took me out for drinks the day of the breakup. It was such a great gesture and I had a lot of fun. They even tried setting me up with the waiter. Be open with your friends, be open with the ones you love. But not everyone has your best interest in their mind, so be careful of who you share your pain with.
4)
Get into things you like doing! Honestly, since January, I have done a lot with friends. I have gained back the courage I once had before getting into the relationship. I've went on a few dates, I've met new people, I've done things that I never thought I'd do. I'm living. I chose not to have my breakup beat me down but have me beat the breakup. No person is going to destroy who I am.
I have grown closer to God since January. Digging into the Word, going back to church...my spiritual life is back, my confidence is back.
You're loved. I'm so sorry you had to go through a breakup, but it seems like it's for the best. You have worth and you deserve to be treated as that, through a romantic relationship as well as friendships.
Miss you girl <3 We should catch up soon!