How much of him do i want? I want all of him I want to dive into the deepest depths of the ocean that is his heart I want to know to see to feel who he is his love his glory his light his suffering his deepest thoughts and feelings I want to have a bond a love a connection with him that has never been seen before even by the apostles themselves who walked with him not because I want to be better in any way but because I truly wish to see just how deep how rich how strong how beautiful how heart warming a love and bond between us can truly be I want to push the boundaries test the limits I want to go all out and to the deepest depths in love with him and I will not accept anything less he and I either go all the way or we won't go at all we either go all out or else there's no point.
I want a kind of closeness and love with him even to the point where I feel and even understand his pain and sadness his joy and his laughter I want to see what he sees think what and how he thinks feel what he feels even if it's painful even if I am overcome by tears of sorrow that he feels I want that kind of bond and closeness and love with him.
I could care less if I am ever strong if I ever am holy and righteous if I receive any treasure or honor in heaven nothing in all of heaven that he could give me would even close in comparison to him to having such a love and bond with him.
I am not after an ordinary love and relationship with him I am after only the deepest and the most rich of love and bond with him, I don't what the cost is what I have to go through what I have to lose or sacrifice and I am hoping that he desires an even deeper love than my greedy heart for him desires and if this is indeed true then I truly have the greatest and the most beautiful future and eternity ahead of me more than any other kind of future or eternity with him