Hi Gena_Rose, I kind of know what you mean and how you feel since I've in a way been through that before. Gena, I know you feel depressed and alone and you feel like there is no hope, you feel like you're stuck in a black hole with no way out and all you feel is emptiness and despair. I want to tell you that there is only one hope, and it's Jesus Christ. You're never too far to go back to Him, He welcomes you with open and loving arms. I know you don't feel like reading the Bible or praying but that's the only way you'll get out of this, as a matter of fact if you don't read or pray, it will get worse. Sometimes whether we feel like it or not, we have to force ourselves to read the word and force ourselves on our knees. Cry out to Jesus, tell Him EVERYTHING that is going on in your life including exactly how you feel, pray with a sincere and honest heart, believe me, He hears! When you feel like you have no strength left, ask and He will GIVE you strength. Seek Him with all your heart, seek His face and presence continually, go into that prayer closet and cry out to Him! Do not give up, that is EXACTLY what the evil one wants, believe me, he never stops searching for a way to steal you from God, don't let him do that. Be encouraged sister, God hears and knows and He LOVES you more than you can ever imagine! And by the way, when I was going through a time like this, I prayed to God with many tears and agony and begged Him to send a person to help me, I continually prayed about this and He came through! There is a time and place for everything so do not be discouraged if He doesn't answer your prayers right away. And remember, that at the lowest point in your life, God is still high and in this spot of your lowness, His glory and strength will be revealed. God will always pull you out of the darkest and deepest pit, but you have to do your part as well, pray, read, and fast. God bless you!