I came here because I have no where else to turn

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IvySpaz

Guest
#1
#1
For the past few years I've been having trouble finding happiness. My will to live died out long ago. I started back with bad habits and have been cutting regularly. I used to be so strong in my faith but it seems like I have been falling. I am so tired of being judged by other Christians for being a lesbian, having my lip pierced, and by being a bit different from everyone else. I am a really nice person and I try to be the sweetest person to everyone. I just really need someone to talk to and pray with me. It hurts so bad to be told that the God whom I used to love most is damning me to endless suffering for falling in love with a member of the same sex by every other Christian I meet. It is so painful being shunned and hated by my family and friends. I have been bullied and beaten for being the way I am. Please show me that all Christians arent this way. Please. I have been thinking all day about saying my last prayer tonight. All I want is be accepted. This is not some random cry for attention. I really want help and to stop thinking this way. I have always been told suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and I used to believe so too but I am beginning not to care. I dont wanna be a burden to anyone any more. I am so tired of hurting.
 
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Adrianv125

Senior Member
#2
Jan 17, 2011
567
12
18
#2
Let's put an imaginary situation. You are born at an Island alone by yourself in which there is infinite amounts of food. There is nothing that you know except that you have everything that you need to survive. You could remember living this way since you had memory. The only difference is that your parents weren't the ones who reared you, it was God. You knew He was always there, He would walk with you just as He walked with Adam and Eve in the garden. The point of the story is this, would you have been the same person that you are now if you would have been in this environment in which all you know is that God is there and He supplies all your needs? It is really a rhetorical question because you wouldn't be that way at all. The point I am trying to make is that you are who you are today because of your environment. You need to ask God to put you aside from the person that the environment has created and to ask God to transform you into the girl that He wants you to be. There is nothing impossible for God, you must come to Him in faith knowing that He is mighty and able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask or think. Who knows how long it may take, who knows when He's going to answer, but for the mean time you must cling to Him and depend on Him for everything you do and ask Him to transform you daily into the image of His Son, which is the purpose of why we were created in the first place. I will be praying for you, but I beg you that you seek God with all of your heart and strength and ask Him to do His will in your life.
 
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IvySpaz

Guest
#3
#3
Thank you. I really needed to here that. Everything you just said is true. Thank you thank you thank you.
 
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Adrianv125

Senior Member
#4
Jan 17, 2011
567
12
18
#4
Thank God, He is the author of all truth, wisdom and love. If there is anyway I can help you feel free to ask.
 
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loveme1

Senior Member
#5
Oct 30, 2011
8,083
190
63
#5
Ask Yahshua the Messiah to come and help you my friend.

Tell him you can take no more and invite him in..

He will be your strength, comfort and guide through the darkness.

Let him lead you home to Yahvah God on the path of Righteousness.
 
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Jemuel

Guest
#6
#6
The Lord is mighty to save and He loves you more than anyone else do. Trust in the Lord
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#7
Aug 28, 2012
19,215
2,551
113
#7
idk if being in love with the same sex will send you to hell, I am perfectly fine being around gays but it's not like it's our place to say if someone is going to hell. All i know is that when we love Jesus he turns us into a person he wants us to be weither that means being gay or not. If christians are saying you are going to eternal suffering and people hurt you fo being different then they aren't being christians at all.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
IvySpaz said:
For the past few years I've been having trouble finding happiness. My will to live died out long ago. I started back with bad habits and have been cutting regularly. I used to be so strong in my faith but it seems like I have been falling. I am so tired of being judged by other Christians for being a lesbian, having my lip pierced, and by being a bit different from everyone else. I am a really nice person and I try to be the sweetest person to everyone. I just really need someone to talk to and pray with me. It hurts so bad to be told that the God whom I used to love most is damning me to endless suffering for falling in love with a member of the same sex by every other Christian I meet. It is so painful being shunned and hated by my family and friends. I have been bullied and beaten for being the way I am. Please show me that all Christians arent this way. Please. I have been thinking all day about saying my last prayer tonight. All I want is be accepted. This is not some random cry for attention. I really want help and to stop thinking this way. I have always been told suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and I used to believe so too but I am beginning not to care. I dont wanna be a burden to anyone any more. I am so tired of hurting.
Click to expand...
While i don't believe in attacking, bullying, insulting or any such behavior someone who is homosexual, but at the same time the bible is clear its wrong. Period.
Do you live in a small conservative area? I've seen Christians with a lot more than a lip piercing who were accepted, for the most part at least.
I'm sorry for the wrong attitudes and actions people have provoked against you, its wrong, no doubt, but you can't go against anyones belief system and try to live the opposite of what they teach is right and expect to have everyone just go 'oh no big deal'. You can't remove or ignore that part of the bible just because it doesn't suit you, and you can't expect others to either.
 
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oracle2world

Guest
#9
#9
I pray for you.
 
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sweetspiritgirl

Guest
#10
#10
Hun..sounds like to me you have confussion all around you..Chris loves you so much and so should his children..We are to love the sinner but hate the sin..Im not going to call you a sinner cause thats not my place to say..but I will say when you love God you love his word and love it ABOVE yourself..Now if you feel wrong in how your living you need to seek God...He hasd all the answers..Its not our place to say whats right or wrong ..alls we can do is speak his word..for he is HIS WORD. Hun what you need is a revaletion from God HIMSELF..when God speaks even one word into us ..we can change and clarity comes..now hun u sound as thou your being opressed bvy things not of God..SEEK HIM FIRST AND HIS KINGDOM AND THINGS SHALL BE ADDED UNTO THEE..Lord I ask that you bring calrity to this young woman and let her feel the Love you have for her Father God..I speak against the lies of satanand his deminion and pleed ur preacious blood over her this day Father i bind up anything that shall come against your word and your wil for her in Jesus name and release your Holy Spirit to minuster your word will and way for her ..in your glorious name i pray AMEN... good luck hun remember your helpeth come from up above and in the time of trouble call unto me and i shall answer thee :) blessing hun
 
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Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#11
#11
I'm sorry that the Christians around you are pushing you away and rejecting you. being a lesbian is clear though that its wrong. i usually compare it to lieing. cause EVERYONE does it and i don't care hom close to God you THINK you may be you get the urge to do it. but its a daily battle you have to fight and decide when you wake up that you're not going to do it. not when its happening.

sin should be tolerated but not accepted. if we rejected everyone who sinned we would have no church. they're wrong for out right rejecting you but its not wrong to not like the sin you're in.

as for always feeling down and cutting. thats an on going battle too. at least it is for me. whenever i have a bad day I have to actively make myself not go back to cutting. its easier if i get my mind off of it by studying for watching a movie. you have to realize that cutting is the beggining steps to worse things. that saying "this too shal pass" its true. theres always something better. you have two good feet. even if it feels like NOTHING will ever get better or it'll take forever i promise that better wil come. and you'll be a much stronger person because you waited it out.

as for finding a church that will accept you. i PROMISE you there are churches out there. I've had a number of Gay guys come through my church. and they attended for a while but they eventually wanted to live their life without God telling them they're doing wrong so they left. but no one in my church condemed them for it. we often hung out went shopping and etc. with them. so it just makes a difference what people you meet. go to a church with a young youth pastor. they tend to be more understanding then the older ones. ^_^
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#12
#12
There's often reasons beyond physical attraction why people swing toward homosexuality. Sometimes, working through those issues in self-help groups and/or with a good Christian therapist can really help.

One of the churches I attend was co-founded by a man that died of aids due to his struggle with homosexuality. His name was Lonnie Frisbee and he definitely was saved and used by God to do many amazing things. But he had a very difficult time struggling through the process of sanctification (like many people do) and unfortunately lived in a very "religious" period of Christiandom when people judged you more than helped you.

In Lonnie's case, he may have even had a fractured personality to some extent from his past that was never even addressed by Chuck Smith or John Wimbur who found it easier to reject him rather than get him the therapy and love he desperately needed. It's a tough thing to have a heart for God but a passion for a forbidden activity as they don't reconcile even though many well-meaning people and organizations try to force them to reconcile.

A few people that still classify themselves as homosexuals (as opposed to those who call themselves Christians in recovery from homosexuality or ex-homosexual Christians) that go to my church and whom are genuine Christians live a life of abstinence because they state they simply don't have a strong enough attraction for the opposite sex. Obviously, this is much easier to accomplish when one is older.

The Biblical option is to enter one of the self-help groups that help Christians transition from a homosexual lifestyle to a hetrosexual lifestyle. In this case, you become a Christian in recovery from homosexuality with the goal of becoming an ex-homosexual Christian. There is always a possibility that the battle with homosexual desire may simply become a draw and you end up living a life of celibacy but from what I've seen, most are able to work their way through the process though I've heard some claim that same-sex desire never completely leaves them (but becomes very livable and they don't act out).

I'm not a homosexual nor ever have been so am simply recounting my observations from those at the Vineyard who come from that lifestyle. I think it's safe to say; however, that many people both gay and straight stuggle through the process of sanctification. For many, it's not an easy process. For some it is. Lucky them!
 
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flight316

Guest
#13
#13
The truth shall set you free. If you chose to be free. And the truth is that there is a god that reigns over homosexuality and lesbianism, but it isn't Jesus. His name is satan. He reigns over everything that is against the will of God. I have compassion for you and I pray for your well being. God is not going to change His ways for you or anyone else. You can't serve two masters. Chose your master. Cutting, suicide, where do you think those ideas came from? Satan. You are very young and I know that this is hard for you. God loves you no matter what, just like good parents do. But He will not tolerate certain behaviors. LoveAlways
 
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Wilfred

Guest
#14
#14
well, you have my prayers.

what is in within your environment which is pushing you towards self abuse? can it be changes? moving possible? nearby fellowship you can reach out to for help?

so many in our age group are so confused and lost. i have no immediate wisdom to share but i can at least pray you will find a way out of the problems behind this....
 
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owned-by-GOD

Guest
#15
#15
MATTHEW 11:28 .. :D WILLING TO PRAY FOR YOU. GOD BLESS
 
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Jemuel

Guest
#16
#16
Aqua_Girl09 said:
I'm sorry that the Christians around you are pushing you away and rejecting you. being a lesbian is clear though that its wrong. i usually compare it to lieing. cause EVERYONE does it and i don't care hom close to God you THINK you may be you get the urge to do it. but its a daily battle you have to fight and decide when you wake up that you're not going to do it. not when its happening.

sin should be tolerated but not accepted. if we rejected everyone who sinned we would have no church. they're wrong for out right rejecting you but its not wrong to not like the sin you're in.

as for always feeling down and cutting. thats an on going battle too. at least it is for me. whenever i have a bad day I have to actively make myself not go back to cutting. its easier if i get my mind off of it by studying for watching a movie. you have to realize that cutting is the beggining steps to worse things. that saying "this too shal pass" its true. theres always something better. you have two good feet. even if it feels like NOTHING will ever get better or it'll take forever i promise that better wil come. and you'll be a much stronger person because you waited it out.

as for finding a church that will accept you. i PROMISE you there are churches out there. I've had a number of Gay guys come through my church. and they attended for a while but they eventually wanted to live their life without God telling them they're doing wrong so they left. but no one in my church condemed them for it. we often hung out went shopping and etc. with them. so it just makes a difference what people you meet. go to a church with a young youth pastor. they tend to be more understanding then the older ones. ^_^
Click to expand...

I totally understand where you are coming from. I also have friends like those you mentioned. I share to them the word of God. But never did I reject them. I tell them what's right based on what the bible says but I never force them to do it. It's their choice. I leave the rest of the work to God.

We all commit mistake. We are not always but we have to be treated right and that goes for all otherwise none at all
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#17
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#17
Sorry you're hurting sweetie :(.

Well....we all sin. Some are just saved sinners, but we ALL are sinners. But Jesus loves us anyway. Hallelujah!

Praying for you right now...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are the fruits of the Spirit that we all need. I need help in all nine. Working on it. I'm a work-in-progress; and so are you :).
 
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blink69nix0

Guest
#18
#18
GOD understand your situation for whom he made you. Some people born this way or that way. Being a lesbian is okay but if you have a relationship with same sex it's offensive to GOD. And that's a no no!!!!!. It's against GOD sorry for this statement, this is not my opinion but I got it from the BIBLE....If you try to work on that and seek GOD not to fall in love with the same sex.He'll uplift you..GOD is so good all the time. Please fight for it cuz GOD is your victory not satan......

I am a true believer and I am here not to judge you but to give you awareness. Please dont fall in Satan's trap. Killing yourself is an insult to our HOLY FATHER cus he is the only who can takes your human life no one else. He made you because you have a purpose in life.He loved you very much....Seek him first ...Right now I pray to GOD that he will enlighten your mind . Please surrender all your worries,problems to GOD cuz he is our HOLY FATHER who know you than Humans.
 
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