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For the past few years I've been having trouble finding happiness. My will to live died out long ago. I started back with bad habits and have been cutting regularly. I used to be so strong in my faith but it seems like I have been falling. I am so tired of being judged by other Christians for being a lesbian, having my lip pierced, and by being a bit different from everyone else. I am a really nice person and I try to be the sweetest person to everyone. I just really need someone to talk to and pray with me. It hurts so bad to be told that the God whom I used to love most is damning me to endless suffering for falling in love with a member of the same sex by every other Christian I meet. It is so painful being shunned and hated by my family and friends. I have been bullied and beaten for being the way I am. Please show me that all Christians arent this way. Please. I have been thinking all day about saying my last prayer tonight. All I want is be accepted. This is not some random cry for attention. I really want help and to stop thinking this way. I have always been told suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and I used to believe so too but I am beginning not to care. I dont wanna be a burden to anyone any more. I am so tired of hurting.