J
Please pray for me to get this right. Advice is welcome. Here's the situation: I was saved about a month ago, and the Holy Spirit has been with me, I've been walking with Jesus, and life has been great. I went to a Baptist Church and arranged to be baptized on Christmas. I ended up backing out because of a problem I have. Please understand this before you judge me. I have limitations. I suffer from a mental illness that makes me very paranoid and afraid of groups. I just can't let people in that I don't know for a long time, and my paranoia won't let me go to church. I've been stable on medication for about 8 years, so I am functional in most ways, and I'm okay, but being surrounded by people, even my family at holidays is terrifying to me. A girl that I met here has told me that as long as I walk with The Lord and give Him my heart, that He will direct me where to go. I feel like He's been telling me, "It's okay. You don't have to go to church. I am in your corner no matter what, and you can worship me wherever and whenever you want" So, I've been reading the Bible, talking to friends, listening to gospel music, and worshiping alone, but I'm not part of a fellowship, so my only concern is that I remain unafilliiated. Is this good enough? I feel that it is, but like I said before, I am mentally ill and do not always have the ability to apply reason for my actions. I just don't want to miss out, but I am disabled and therefore I am solo. Praise Jesus. Thank you for reading. I look forward to any responses you have.