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I've never actually been diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or even seen a doctor about it, but I'm pretty sure that's what's been afflicting me 4 so many years.
It started when I was a little girl... I would HAVE 2 perform these rituals, & I didn't know why. It stopped 4 several years then started up again in my mid-teens. It's gotten progressively worse over the years.
I was always able 2 keep it private, (U know, not having 2 do the rituals in front of people). But recently I haven't been able 2 stop myself in front of my mom. I don't ever know if she notices, but I'm pretty sure she does. She does know about my problem... now most of the people closest 2 me know.
That wasn't always so. I used 2 be so embarassed & ashamed that I couldnt talk about with n e 1. I'm finally able 2 talk about it, but I'm still very ashamed about it. I feel like I'm putting my faith into these rituals. I feel like if I don't do them, something bad will happen. I know logically in my head that it won't, but if I try NOT to do them, I have this horrible, uneasy feeling and I can't take it! I feel awful about it... like I'm betraying God, but I don't know how 2 stop. & I really hate the thought of it getting 2 the point where I HAVE 2 do these things in front of people!
I've prayed 2 the Lord about this many times, but I think extra prayer would help greatly! Please pray 4 me, that this will stop, & I wont feel the need 2 do these things anymore! I don't want ridiculous, time consuming, unneccessary rituals being part of my life anymore! Thank you!
It started when I was a little girl... I would HAVE 2 perform these rituals, & I didn't know why. It stopped 4 several years then started up again in my mid-teens. It's gotten progressively worse over the years.
I was always able 2 keep it private, (U know, not having 2 do the rituals in front of people). But recently I haven't been able 2 stop myself in front of my mom. I don't ever know if she notices, but I'm pretty sure she does. She does know about my problem... now most of the people closest 2 me know.
That wasn't always so. I used 2 be so embarassed & ashamed that I couldnt talk about with n e 1. I'm finally able 2 talk about it, but I'm still very ashamed about it. I feel like I'm putting my faith into these rituals. I feel like if I don't do them, something bad will happen. I know logically in my head that it won't, but if I try NOT to do them, I have this horrible, uneasy feeling and I can't take it! I feel awful about it... like I'm betraying God, but I don't know how 2 stop. & I really hate the thought of it getting 2 the point where I HAVE 2 do these things in front of people!
I've prayed 2 the Lord about this many times, but I think extra prayer would help greatly! Please pray 4 me, that this will stop, & I wont feel the need 2 do these things anymore! I don't want ridiculous, time consuming, unneccessary rituals being part of my life anymore! Thank you!