I was abused sexually and i need help.

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clay2009

Guest
#1
#1
Before I start if any body is offended by this post i am sorry but i need some christian help dealing with this.

I am 19 years old and i am a male who has been sexually molested and worse by other males that i thought were friends before the did this, just revealed this fact this year. I have been sexually confused since, though i am still a virgin. It started about the time i was 4 and lasted till the time i was 12. It wasnt all the time but it was often enough. I have a porn addiction also and im trying to deal with it and find a way to stop. I dont believe in sex before marriage thou. But i feel unclean and I need help and consel from other guys or anybody who has similar situations and feels like sharing. Please note that it is very hard for me to admit this to complete strangers so please dont be offended.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#2
#2
Many Christian ministries exist today to help Christians overcome, with God's help, the hurts and wounds, bad habits and addictions, and ignorance and deception the enemy (e.g. devil and his demons) has directly or indirectly hurt them with.

There are a list of recovery resources here: Recovery - Christians Helping Our World

But you should also seek out counseling in my opinion with a licensed professional at least initially.

It's really tragic that this sort of thing happens as much as it does. We have men and women in our Celebrate Recovery group that have had to work through that. They are the leaders too. Peace and God bless you. Nothing can keep you down friend with God. He loves you ThAT much!
 
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charisenexcelcis

Guest
#3
#3
clay2009 said:
Before I start if any body is offended by this post i am sorry but i need some christian help dealing with this.

I am 19 years old and i am a male who has been sexually molested and worse by other males that i thought were friends before the did this, just revealed this fact this year. I have been sexually confused since, though i am still a virgin. It started about the time i was 4 and lasted till the time i was 12. It wasnt all the time but it was often enough. I have a porn addiction also and im trying to deal with it and find a way to stop. I dont believe in sex before marriage thou. But i feel unclean and I need help and consel from other guys or anybody who has similar situations and feels like sharing. Please note that it is very hard for me to admit this to complete strangers so please dont be offended.
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What you need is a new life in Christ. The first step is to place your faith and trust in Jesus. You may not feel differently when you do this, but you begin a new life in Him. "All things will pass away, all things will become new." Then you must walk in faith, seeking counsel, reading the word of God, and spending time in prayer, because the old man, though dead, walks in you like some morbid nightmare. You will find that almost impossible to do alone, and on-line advice will not be enough. You must find a support group.
God can and will renew your mind. One of the greatest hurdles that you have is the porn addiction. This is a connection with the past, like poison. It is not what comes out of a man that defiles him but what goes into him. In order to break the power that the past has over you, you must be delivered from this addiction. Some are delivered through counseling, some through prayer, some through the word, some through combinations. There is a spiritual side to this addiction, a demonic side. You must turn your thoughts away from this. "Whatever is good, whatever is honest, whatever is true, whatever is pure."
Eventually, you will have to forgive those who abused you. This will not involve felling "good" about them or what they did. This will just be releasing yourself and trusting in Gods's judgement. "Vengence is mine, says the Lord, I will repay! I don't expect that you will be able to do this for a while, but please keep it in mind.
Right now, you need to find someone who can help you face-to-face. While God can, and may, bring instant deliverance, He has chose most often to use His people to minister to His children.
 
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lightbliss

Guest
#4
#4
Welcome to CC.

I'm sorry you've experienced that abuse and I pray for you and the abusers.

I suggest getting medical care if you haven't already and counseling.

At times when I have a lot on my mind, I write about it, this helps to relieve stress.

I also want to direct you to this website RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network | RAINN: The nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization.One of “America’s 100 Best Charities" —Worth magazine.

I hope this helps.

God Bless :)
 
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MaggieMye

Guest
#5
#5
Clay, the first thing that is a MUST in order for you to receive your healing is that you have to CHOOSE to forgive those you have hurt you. It might help to understand that those that hurt you, were most likely themselves, abused. If you can purpose to see that it was satan operating through them, against yoiu, for your demise, and that they were truly ignorant of what they were doing to you, beyond the physical act of the abuse. People that are hurting themselves have a tendancy to hurt others. It is what they know to do. It doesn't make it right, but if you understand the dynamics behind abuse, it should help you to forgive. THEN...you need deliverance. Why? Because what was done to you was not only physical, but emotional and spiritual. It opened doors to your soul for spirits to come in and mess with your head, your heart and your body (which is the very reason your abusers did what they did to you...they were/are messed up). Receiving deliverance will get rid of the spirits that torment you AND closed the doors so they cannot return. Not receiving deliverance puts you at risk for doing to others what was done to you...and you will feel that you cannot control it...it will be something that you are not yet equipped to handle. And let's not forget your future offspring. You certainly don't want them to have to deal with anything that will be passed down to them through your share of DNA, right?
I am a certified deliverance minister. If you want to email me privately, I can help your find a ministry in your area that is equipped to help you through this and truly get set free.
Maggie
 
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paul1149

Guest
#6
#6
Clay, if you come to Jesus please understand that He completely accepts you no matter what was done to you or what you have done. He came to save men's lives, not destroy them (John 3.17). Therefore all the guilt, shame and condemnation are trumped by His forgiveness and favor, freely given in love (Romans 8.1-2, ff).

You need to be honest with Him, and you also need to make the decision to forgive those who have hurt you. You may not feel anything at first, but each time thoughts of anger and revenge pop up turn it over to God and trust Him to work things out the way they need to be. This doesn't necessarily mean not holding them accountable to the law; that's an issue to be considered separately. Forgiving them will untie you from their power to keep on hurting you through rehearsing the memories. In Christ, all the negative feelings become invalid, and the promises of God, which speak of restoration and glory, become true for you.

To be sure, it is likely that the feelings will not want to leave willingly, and will return periodically. That's where faith comes in. If you stand your ground in Christ and persevere (see Ephesians 6), you are going to come out on the victory side.

If it's at all possible, find a good church or cell group or recovery ministry where you can get support. Christ left us here to build each other up in love and to perfect the saints. And if I can be of any help do not hesitate to contact me (I think the IM system here works).
 
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Angel997

Guest
#7
#7
MaggieMye said:
Clay, the first thing that is a MUST in order for you to receive your healing is that you have to CHOOSE to forgive those you have hurt you.
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Hey Clay
man, i know where you are... i was sexually abused by my dad, and its hard, but Maggie is right... there is so much power in forgivness, its really incredible... lol i don't really know what to say, but i'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts, and just know your loved, madly truely deeply loved by christ our savior, and he sees you as his son
 
loveschild

loveschild

Banned
#8
May 21, 2009
3,955
25
0
#8
God bless you! You will get thr this.
 
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mpaper345

Banned
#9
Feb 9, 2010
2,486
39
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#9
Turn your life over to Christ asking for forgiveness of all sins and turn away from all sins,forgive those who sexually abused you,and the hurt will be gone.You will remember but the pain will be gone.

As long as you participate in sin you will never feel clean.The Spirit will help you to overcome the flesh.

The Bible says that love does not think an evil thought.

That is the problem with sin is that is makes people not like themselves as much because only by being in the Spirit can we truly love ourselves and people.

The world does not like themselves as they should because of sin,but fleshy pleasures,selfish and arrogance becomes their love for the most part.Depends on their level of sin.

Matt
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#10
#10
I think you need to find someone who has been in your shoes and can truly relate to where you've been. On top of that some real life professional assistance would probably be helpful.

This is a website and can only do so much. Being online does have certain limitations. I hope you're able to find some in person assistance too. If you're concerned about people in person knowing your experience, keep in mind you're most likely not the only one to have experienced this. The devil wants you to think it's a huge blemish and flaw that others will scorn you for. But in reality Jesus loves you and people tend to be more accepting than you may expect.
 
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nathan3

Guest
#12
#12
clay2009 said:
Before I start if any body is offended by this post i am sorry but i need some christian help dealing with this.

I am 19 years old and i am a male who has been sexually molested and worse by other males that i thought were friends before the did this, just revealed this fact this year. I have been sexually confused since, though i am still a virgin. It started about the time i was 4 and lasted till the time i was 12. It wasnt all the time but it was often enough. I have a porn addiction also and im trying to deal with it and find a way to stop. I dont believe in sex before marriage thou. But i feel unclean and I need help and consel from other guys or anybody who has similar situations and feels like sharing. Please note that it is very hard for me to admit this to complete strangers so please dont be offended.
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You need to report the people that did this. And stay far away from them. You did nothing wrong by being forced against your will as a kid. Your not unclean. Christ makes us clean. When we turn to His ways, and away from the world..

Again, you need to report all the people involved before they hurt any more people.
 
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Dalisa

Guest
#13
#13
I will pray for you. Know that you are a pearl in Gods hand. These feelings that you have are only for a while. God will take the hurt away and replace it with joy. Be transformed by the renewal of your mind and keep in faith!
much love,
 
Bookends

Bookends

Senior Member
#15
Aug 28, 2012
4,225
99
48
#15
Him, just notice this tread was started in 2010...I wonder how Clay is doing.
 
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rainin

Guest
#16
#16
It will be my prayer that you are able to define yourself by who you are in Christ rather than the things that have been done to you.
 
thecreationtutor

thecreationtutor

Senior Member
#17
Jun 30, 2011
2,521
35
0
#17
honestly the book "rid of my disgrace" by john holcomb and his wife - is probably the best for this
 
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